Do relationships and Bipolar mix?

I have been with my wife for 3 years but have known her for 10 years. I have been diagnosed with bipolar and my relationship is on the brink of distruction. So my question is do I have hope for saving my marriage? I feel like no one understands these moods but me. She feels that I don't love her but its the opposite I do I just don't know how to show it when I am down all the time.

I don't think that relationships and bipolar Dont work... I think that there are people who are not bipolar who simply are not capable of handing or understanding or simply having the ability to be with someone who is bipolar.

I am wondering though.... you say you have known her for 10 years... Have you had bipolar symptoms that whole time or are they new? Have they gotten worse? I'm just curious what has changed from when you met to how things are now.

None of us will be able to tell you if there is hope for saving your marriage because none of us know whether your wife is willing to deal with the symptoms that come with bipolar.

Have you tried Marriage Counseling or even brought her with you to your therapy sessions?

I have had Bipolar for a long time even before we meet. I just never knew what my problem was or even that I had a problem. So to answer your question yes I have had it since we first started and it has gotten worse over the years since I havn't sought out treatment until now since my marriage is in turnoil.

It is apparent then that she cannot handle the increasingly worsening symptoms. Which is understandable, especially if you are not seeking any type of treatment despite knowing that it is causing problems. The good thing is that you are now seeking the treatment needed. If she is aware of that, perhaps she will give you time to allow the treatment to work.

I am seeking treatment now, but I am also afraid that it is to late. She has always stated that I have had an issue but I never listened to it since I felt I didn't have a problem. do you ever show affection in your relationships?

Its too soon for me to say. I've dealt with the symptoms of Bipolar for about a year and a half now. And I have only attempted to be in a relationship once. I did feel affectionate at times but I also felt very smothered, as if I were being kept in place and not free to move. Because of those feelings, i, unfortunately, have no desire for a relationship. The loneliness sucks. It's an odd thing to say but I wish I wanted a relationship. I wish I could love someone and deal with their faults the way I used to be able to. I just find it too difficult now. I am currently better off alone. Sorry I cannot offer you any help with that.

I can tell you that that when I am depressed, I isolate. I dont just stop returning phone calls and texts, I even unintentionally push people's buttons to make them not want to be around me.

Yes, there is hope. We use 'romance cards' to help focus us, we use more of them when we're really high or low. Also marriage counseling and individual counseling help us a lot. However, my DH does 'get me'. Reading personal stories may help her too. I feel very open communication is important though. Why don't you make her an "I love you" card with paper and crayons / color pencils and leave it somewhere she can find it?

AbeisAbe That is how i feel alot of the times unable to move. What is that all about?

Miguel'smom I hear you on that one, but often find myself not thinking of those things at all. I get so rapped up in my depression that all I can focus is on me. Except for today when me an dmy boys went out and bought a mothers day gift.

I am engaged, and have known my fiance for almost 2 years now. We were broken up for 5 of those months because I got into a funk and couldn't get happy again.

Since we have been back together we have found that we need space. We understand that too much time together can be overwhelming. I agree with AbeIsAbe, I feel smothered a lot of the time. When I feel like I'm going to get snappy or I feel "smothered" I tell T that I need some alone time and I go into a different room or he leaves to a different part of the house.

Even the most patient person will have issues with a bi polar partner, because they won't understand. I suggest trying to talk things out with your partner, explain your feelings to them.

For me untreated BP was not at all compatible with a successful relationship. Since I have been stable I have been in a happy, loving committed marriage. I think it can be done if you are with someone who is understanding, patient, and willing to put up with some of the s@#! that BP brings.

I have been married for 6 years and still going strong. I have an amazing, understanding husband. I think it depends alot on your partner. You have to put up with alot of crap if you love someone with BP. I try hard to make it easier for hubby by spreading the load of caring for me when I'm depressed.

Ninja pro I can understand expressing how you are feeling to your mate. My problem right now is getting to understand my own feelins to be able to express them. I diagnosied with bipolar last week and my meds have not began working. I also started therapy three weeks ago to try and figure myself out. I do feel that I am not understood and that she feels I do things intentionally to harm her and that is not the case.

I can understand that, not even understanding yourself so that you can explain it to someone else. I struggle with that myself. Sometimes I find it easier to talk after a bit of self reflection. I like to sit in a quiet place when I am confused. After I have time for myself to think I find that I have an easier time talking to my loved ones.

Hope this helps!

I don't find my bipolar interferes with having relationships. I do find that my borderline personality disorder/fear of abandonment interferes with my relationship a great deal, though.

Yeah that quiet place sounds nice. I hope that I can adapt that into my every day life. As of right now I struggle with not knowing what I want to do from one moment to the next. It has been very frustrating for me. I am just praying that once these meds actually start working I will be able to be normal. I would even settle for half way normal.

Just keep faith! It sounds easy, but I struggle with finding the calm and quiet as well. I take everyday minute to minute. If I find myself confused I take a step back and look at the bigger picture

Thank you Ninja Pro for your encouragement.

You are most welcome! I really hope I helped

Both my husband and myself have bipolar disorder and we've been in a relationship for about 8 yrs now. Early on, when we met, I went from manic as hell on Prozac to attempting suicide. Needless to say, that had me away from psychiatrists for hmm, 6 yrs I guess.

It was fine for those years, as long as we're both not in a depressive or mixed state at the same time, good times to had and some patience to be learnt.

But it got to a point where I was in this real awful state, pretty much non-stop taking for several days, just spewing negative crap and he said to me basically I needed to stop it or he was leaving, now I know that sounds harsh but, we both have the disorder and while it explains somethings it is a poor excuse for anything and an even worse excuse for the other to just put up with it.

So, I went to a doctor, went crazy on zoloft, finally accepted the bipolar diagnosis I had gotten when I was 19 and started the proper meds. He's been on and off meds since then, he is off them now and I certainly haven't been entirely compliant and, cycling continues but, we deal. There was one incident where I told him to go on meds or go away and we dealt.

It sucks, bipolar is crap and my life would be so much better without it though as relationships go, bipolar only ruins it when you don't have a reasonable understanding of what it is, how it affects others and when to drag you're damn feet into the damned doctors office and swallow those pills, at least for a few weeks until the worst is over. I guess being married to someone else with bipolar gives me a lot more insight into the disorder than I would have otherwise.

And of course with relationships, personality, perspective on life and blah, blah, the stuff that isn't the stupid disorder, the stuff that makes you is a major factor, I'd say bigger than the bipolar because as much as bipolar can come in and destroy everything you care about, what you do next and when you're not in a really bad episode, is all you.

Hi. I completely understand what you're going through. I have been bipolar my entire life, just never knew it until about 5 years ago. I've been married for 13 years and it has been a struggle. I've suffered from some very destructive ups and downs, and it has been incredibly hard on my wife. I have always had trouble expressing and showing affection and probably always will. My wife has just learned to be patient and strong, and said she takes the bad with the good - specifically she says the good things about me outweigh the bad that come with being bipolar.

Counseling can help - I often times feel like no one around me really understands what I go through on a daily basis, and sometimes my wife seems to only "tolerate" it, but we get through it. We also have 2 special needs children, so we have to work as a team to do the best we can for them. Don't give up if you think your relationship is worth it.