[ChristySpirals]

When you are hypomanic and you start wanting new things do you know you are hypo. Like the urges are there and you can stop yourself from doing the things you want to do but then you feel completely blah until you do it. I feel more alive when I indulge, like if Im not chasing the high I am extremely bored, restless and iritable. Then as soon as I do indulge I get the tingles and euphoric feeling. Does this sound familiar to any of you

[RobertDark]

I never know my (hypo)mania until I come down. I go on months of doing what I want, buying what I want and then I come down and look back. Sometimes (a lot of times) I have some regrets (most specifically about sexual things) but for the most part I am ok with it.

The thing is, I used to get manic and buy expensive things. A TV here, a car there, a season ticket package for a sports team, etc. Somehow, I've learned to be impulsive with smaller items that satisfy the urge. So I still have more shoes than any man on this earth should own, but getting manic and buying clothes is a lot better than what I used to do where I'd buy a TV or something.

I've also found that my impulsive side can be satisfied with the clearance rack. I can get a ton of stuff for cheap and damn if that doesn't feel good. So I am still impulsive, but I am able to make it a bit cheaper in my adult life.

[Red_Cyclops]

Hi, Christy - I know what you mean. Before my diagnosis, I had no idea I was hypo when I was acting that way. Now that I know what I'm dealing with, I have learned to recognize all of the warning signs. I know when I'm getting hypo and I take steps to control it. It's weird knowing it now - before I just thought I was really energetic and hyper.

Originally Posted by ChristySpirals

When you are hypomanic and you start wanting new things do you know you are hypo. Like the urges are there and you can stop yourself from doing the things you want to do but then you feel completely blah until you do it. I feel more alive when I indulge, like if Im not chasing the high I am extremely bored, restless and iritable. Then as soon as I do indulge I get the tingles and euphoric feeling. Does this sound familiar to any of you

yes.....

[faerie_moon_x]

I often can't tell what my mood is exaclty, which is why mood tracking is so important. I'm more "symptom tracking" than mood. I guess. Because I have a lot of mixed states. And even when I think, "I'm not well," it's often worse than I realize.

But, when I am actually manic, or close to it, I have no idea. Because I feel good. I get a lot done. I feel like I'm doing a great job, and relieved to not be mixed. But at the same time, I have 0 focus so I'm making tons of errors. I have no idea that this is happening. I never realize how bad things were until I get to the other side and look back at the devistation behind me.

[ChristySpirals]

It`s like getting a diagnoses took the fun out of it. It`s good to be informed, of course, but now its like I am accountable. I never questioned what was going on before, I just did what I wanted with zero concern for affected parties. Now I feel like the one walking on tippy toes around myself.

[ChristySpirals]

Oh and the guilt I would feel indulging in the activities while in a normal state is not here...I still don`t care so much for hurting the ones I love but now take extra care not to get caught because I know I am behaving wrongly.

[Miss Laura]

Oh god ye. I love the feeling of going on a Hypo-Manic phase. The only thing I can say is I do not know when I am too far gone though. That's what I need to learn to control. I love the buzz though as you say way better being like that than being bored etc!

[Btp1136]

I used to be better at knowing, but its a bit tougher now. I usually self-monitor pretty well.

[Confusedinomicon]

I dont like being hypo because I get into some trouble. I miss it because I feel spiritual and like Im connected to a higher power. I also feel more invincible and my level of empathy drops.

[ChristySpirals]

you just described my feeling as well confused

[cocoabeans]

I don't label myself with terms like manic or hypomanic. "Hypomania" is just happiness but, they call it that because we get so intensely depressed. So, screw them calling periods of being "too happy" illness. I totally disagree with that. I see cycling as problematic but, some impulsive spending, moving around the world, thinking strange thoughts, very enjyable sex and dabbling with drug use? That's living life. Even when I can't concentrate, finish a thought or get so bad I hear my thoughts as if they came from God himself, it hasn't been anything seen by anyone as as detrimental to my "well being". The cycle? Sure.

I can understand some people wind up in jail or hospitals but, my "hypomania" has never had any consequence like that. Heck, I don't even end up depressed all the time either

But do I know when "it" is happening? Maybe sometimes but, I choose not to worry about it.

[Confusedinomicon]

Hypo happy and regular happy are different for me.

Regular happy is like eating something so delicious I'm in heaven or enjoying myself with friends. I am still impulsive, regardless of taking medication or not. Currently trying to train myself not to buy food if I don't need it.

Hypo happy has a crash at the end. I think that's the only thing I dislike about it. I hate having to increase lithium to get stable so its easier for me to stay on medication.

[Victoria'smom]

I can't tell. I guess if I feel I have to explain why it's not as bad as it looks on my mood/event/action chart I should look at whether or not it's an "acceptable" situational mood.

Originally Posted by Red_Cyclops

Hi, Christy - I know what you mean. Before my diagnosis, I had no idea I was hypo when I was acting that way. Now that I know what I'm dealing with, I have learned to recognize all of the warning signs. I know when I'm getting hypo and I take steps to control it. It's weird knowing it now - before I just thought I was really energetic and hyper.

This is my experience too. As far as shopping, I normally don't like to, so even wanting to shop is an indicator, lol! There are others of course, but that is where overspending starts after all. In order to recognize the signs, I looked back to a (pre-dx) long Ebay spree I went on, because it had it all... In technicolor. Somewhat surprisingly, I actually was able to remember some of my thought patterns from the time. Probably not all, but definitely enough that when I "hear" them, I know what I'm dealing with. And actually resist pretty well(!) It's thinking of all the money I could have had if the Ebay thing never happened, and the vision of the most hideous dress ever (scary, and so very very not "me" in every way possible) that at the time, I just had to have --it was so beautiful! I don't want to repeat of that!

Some other things I have a much harder time recognizing as hypo when hypo, but the shopping thing? Nope. Got that one down cold.

[BuggsBunny]

After so many years, I've gotten pretty good at recognizing the hypo for what it is. Especially with the spending sprees I can get into. Certain signs are my clues that I have gone hypo, and everyone's signs are different, but one is midnight shopping for events several months away. And more than one packed from UPS in a month is a dead give away. I've learned to reign in my shopping to the less expensive things, and I still enjoy the elevated mood and refuse to "kill" a good hypo.

I live year round with depression, so if I get a hypo, I'm not letting it go unless it starts to slide out of control, something I've also learned to recognize.

With experience, I believe, comes better control over your BP. Just pay attention to the things you experience, write them down in a symptom log if you are afraid you'll forget.

[BlackPup]

The biggest key to recognising my hypos is a lack of need for sleep. If I'm just not tired or can't sleep cos of racing thoughts and needing to do something right away then I'm probably going hypo.
I do rein things in with sleeping tablets so that I have a soft landing and don't end up dipping into depression after a hypomania which is where the real problem lies for me. The hypomanias are not really that problematic but the depressions suck.

[BNLsMOM]

My hypos start out nice and I have all kinds of energy that I want to spend changing a career or opening a business or becoming recognized for something amazing, however, I quickly change to a mixed state with psychotic features such as paranoia. Then I crash to depression with paranoia and images and urges to hurt myself. I cycle so fast that most people don't even see my hypomania. I usually question myself when I am shopping or thinking big and I figure if I have to ask that I am hypo. I haven't figured out how to stop the psychosis and depression that comes after.

By the way, there is nothing wrong with thinking big. In my case I am left with many unfinished projects that I end up wanting to work on again the next time I am hypo. Therefore I have been wanting to get published and open another yoga studio for years.

Yes, been there, done that!

One person suggested putting the credit card in a glass of water and putting it in the freezer. Later, when the urge hits to buy something, you have to wait for the credit card to thaw and by that time the desire to buy something has dissipated.

Loved that one!

Genetic

[ChristySpirals]

I am just going to throw it out there. I have been texting guys and making arrangements to hook up. Its like a drug to me, the attention, the risk, the challenges. I know its wrong but I am so horned up and when my hubby isn't home I want it more, I don't get it. I can also tell because I change my appearance, get irritable and feel like I am floating towards a purpose but that purpose is not known, I just know it will be something good and worthwhile. Last year I was an artist, my paintings were my mark on this world, I could touch ppl with my art and ppl were in awe of my awesomeness.

Question?? Say I follow thru and meet these men, could the possible guilty feelings increase the hypo? To be honest I would much rather not want the attention from these guys, I just wonder if I go and get it out of my system maybe I will be done with them but then will there be others? Ugh I know the right answer but it doesn't change how I feel, doesn't help hubby has been so supportive and sweet to me all this time. Would help if he was being a *** at times like these.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Christy,

I am like you I hook up with men etc. I would say DO NOT DO IT! Anything can happen to you, you don't know who these guys are. This is what I get told when I am going through this stage. You do know the answer as do I but its the BUZZ that you get that's the drug. You feel alive and like everything is out of control. I know how you feel. It gets easier if you ignore it. I have to ignore mines and I am finding it a lot easier to ignore it now than before.

Hope this helps!

[RobertDark]

Originally Posted by ChristySpirals

IUgh I know the right answer but it doesn't change how I feel, doesn't help hubby has been so supportive and sweet to me all this time. Would help if he was being a *** at times like these.

The right answer is obvious and you state as much. I just kind of wonder if your husband knows about your activity. If you have an open marriage and it's okay for the two of you to seek other lovers then what I am about to say means nothing.

But... If it's a monogamous relationship then your activity is doubly dangerous since you could potentially ruin what you have. Now, maybe you are not in a good marriage and that doesn't matter to you (ruining it), I am just kind of throwing out a consequence besides the guilt you will feel, the potential of meeting a dangerous man with whom to hook up, etc. If you are doing this outside of a monogamous relationship behind your husband's back, you are not only going to have your own personal guilt to deal with, but you'll have ruined your husbands life as well. Just something to think of and again, I am saying this assuming you are happily married and monogamous.

You also can't use the "If he was an *** I could do this and feel fine" excuse. That would get you to do what you clearly want to do, but it wouldn't remove the guilt you might feel later. On top of that, if he is an *** and you want to remain married and work on him not being an ***, work with him if you love him. Don't use sex as a weapon to go against him because of an action he may have taken. If that's your attitude, that you will go hook up when things aren't how you want, you'll never have a healthy relationship.

And this coming from someone who has no ability to have a relationship but sometimes I am better at giving advice than taking it.

[ChristySpirals]

I know these guys, one is a friend of hubby's so its not like they are complete strangers....I don't know why I am even saying that or talking about this. I know the consequences. Going to just go see pdoc and see what he can do about this hypo...its no fun when you can't do the things you want to do lol. Thanks guys

[RobertDark]

Originally Posted by ChristySpirals

I know these guys, one is a friend of hubby's so its not like they are complete strangers....

That would make things quite a bit worse, that one is a friend of your husband's, IMHO. This is, again, assuming you are not in an open marriage and your husband is and expects you to be monogamous.

In the case of a husband's friend you are potentially ruining your marriage and a friendship. 3 people get hurt in that case (you already know you will feel guilty, you've said so, so you are in that equation) just so you can have some fun.

When I am bad (either up or down) I tend to only destroy one person at a time and end up regretting it massively. I can't imagine the guilt I'd have if I hurt two people any myself at once.

[Victoria'smom]

I have to say especially with your partners friend, he's not a friend. If he was he'd know this wasn't your normal behavior and protected you by telling your husband that your acting weird.
This to me would be a time that I would look into in-patent as I a danger to myself and others. Yes picking up guys puts me in not just immediate danger but longer term danger as in pregnancy, and sti's. This puts my marriage on the line and exposes my husband to life threatening sti's.