I have been on the bipolar medication roller coaster for the past 20+ years. Have taken Effexor, Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac, Lithium, Seroquel, Welbutrin, Depakote, Ativan, Xanax, Pamelor, Lamictal, Ambien, Lunesta, and probably a couple more I can't remember.

Nothing really worked well for me at all. The Ativan and Xanax do calm down my anxiety, so they do help me. Ambien helps me sleep, but I am afraid to take it too often. I need it every night because I just DO NOT sleep unless I take something to help me. Most of the time I take Tylenol PM or Benadryl.

The psychiatrist I see now wants to keep increasing the dosages. If it still is not effective, she wants to add more meds to the one I already take! I don't like that. I don't want to take something that will make it necessary to do lab work every few months to make sure I am not having any kind of liver damage due to the meds!

I am in therapy weekly. That is helping me a lot! I am weaning off of Depakote, even though my psychiatrist is not aware of this. I am being careful. Taking it very slow. Haven't had any problems at all.

My question is this. Does every person who has a bipolar diagnosis 'need' to be on meds? Is it possible to be resistant to that kind of treatment in that meds don't help? I know that there is a chemical imbalance that causes bipolar, so you would think meds would be the only way to go. But from my experience, I am not sure I believe that anymore.

The weight gain and side effects are just not worth it if the meds are not doing anything that I can see. My family can't see that much difference when I am on or off of them either. They CAN see a difference when I miss a therapy session. I have major meltdowns for some reason when that happens.

[Victoria'smom]

Does every person who has a bipolar diagnosis 'need' to be on meds? I don't think everyone does but for my safety and the others around me I have to be medicated.

Is it possible to be resistant to that kind of treatment in that meds don't help? I think so. If you have the time and not scared of impatient you could do a 3 month program that you wipe the slate clean. Deal completely un-medicated and slowly, add low dosses to see what helps. It also gives you a chance to see if the meds helped any.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Does every person who has a bipolar diagnosis 'need' to be on meds? I don't think everyone does but for my safety and the others around me I have to be medicated.

Never were truer words ever spoken.....about me, too. Now that I'm stabilizing some, my family is feeling safer telling me how bad things really were when I wasn't medicated. You've got to know it must've sucked rocks to be around me then, when my sister tells me she never knew "who was going to walk through that door when you got home from work".

It may be possible to 'do' bipolar without meds, but I sure as hell don't recommend it.

[Eliza Jane]

A few thoughts...if your pdoc doesn't agree to you weaning of the depokote and you have to do it behind her back, find a new pdoc. You will sabotage your treatment if you cannot be honest with your pdoc. I absolutely agree that it is your body, your choice so if you feel you are making a reasonable, educated change for valid reasons, you need to be with someone that respects that.

Secondly, I was reading up some on the controversy of using straight antidepressants (like the Effexor and Paxil you mentioned) with bipolar folks. There is the theory that adding meds like these to your combo will make it less effective. So, maybe one thing to ask a pdoc about is simplifying the meds you take so that they have a chance of working.

I agree that not everyone needs to be on meds at all times, but I suspect it is a minority. I tried to convince myself that I was in this minority...I wasn't. If you have a good relationship with your t, talk over this possibility over with her. Sometimes we need an objective party (not to sound cynical, but a t is likely much more objective on this than a pdoc). I know for me, I was too close to my own situation to accept that going off meds entirely was likely to result in disaster (even though pdoc warned me).

Best of luck,
EJ

[Trippin2.0]

I am not and do not need to be medicated. I was for about 2yrs, but once I accepted and UNDERSTO0D my dx and aquired coping skills, I decided that I was able to cope without. I've promised myself that if in future I do become a danger to others, that meds will be part of my game plan.

[LadyShadow]

I agree with all the others and especially what EJ was saying. Don't do things behind your pdoc's back. You need to be honest before you can make progress. I was lucky enough to have a pdoc that took one look at the 10 medications I was on, Depakote, Lithium and others to tell me "let's throw all this out and start from scratch". Many pdocs are afraid to do that. But I am sure you can find one that will work with you. I agree wholeheartedly to tell your therapist about your feelings while in session and see if she has any suggestions for you.

I highly recommend taking your meds until you get a pdoc that can change things around a bit. I was on the rollercoaster of throwing out the pills every time I was released from the hospital because I was convinced I didn't need them and I could beat it on my own. I even went three years without meds. However, the bipolar came back. Came back with a vengeance. I had such a manic episode that almost destroyed my life. And it came out of nowhere. Just stress I guess from moving that I couldn't handle. The point is, I will stress again is I went a whole THREE YEARS without them and I thought I was fine and I conquered it. But it turned around and conquered me.

Be careful and I wish you all the best.

[RobertDark]

I am reading a ton about meds and how bipolar people have used them and this site has been great to see how real, live, actual people who struggle with it.

I am trying to not do meds but the more I read, the more I talk to people here, the more I realize that meds are needed. Does that mean I am going to go to my appointment next week and get right back on meds? I don't think so, I think I am actually going to cancel my NP appointment and fight a little longer without meds.

Last night something hit me. I just made it through the hardest year of my life (divorce which is still pending, unexpected death of my mom and I sabotaged [and continue to sabotage] a great relationship) without meds. I had both the best times of my life in this period and the worst times and I am still here. I don't want those 'worst times" anymore, some of which have been depression related to nothing else other than bipolar cycling but I don't want to get medicated to miss out on this great times.

I have gotten to the point where I am consumed on what to do with meds and my heart is saying no while my head is saying "You need help". I don't know what to do, but I know the more I read and the more I learn (from both this site and the number of therapists I have seen the past month) is that bipolar needs meds 999 time out of 1,000. So maybe I should just give in.

[venusss]

I don't know what to do, but I know the more I read and the more I learn (from both this site and the number of therapists I have seen the past month) is that bipolar needs meds 999 time out of 1,000.

well.... I don't think it is that high.

and 999 out of 1000? WHere you get this numbers on *this* site? Myself and at least one other member here are not on meds.... and I don't really think there is 2000 bipolars here.

ANd then... there is Icarus project, which i recommend to check for alternative options. THere are many alternative treatment blogs...

Imho... if one tries few meds and they just make things worse... it is real possibility that the person needs something else. SOME people react badly to meds in general. Maybe an Indigo child (old soul reincarnated), maybe be they are just sensitive to chemistry in general, maybe they just need drastic lifestyle overhaul. Why not try the other options, if you go for it safely? And with the prices of meds these days...one may as well try to Eat, Pray, Love... or something along those lines.

[RobertDark]

Sorry, that number was some hyperbole on my part, I just made it up. That's what it 'feels' like when I read and talk to people, that that many people need meds to cope properly with bipolar.

[quote=Eliza Jane;2412914]

A few thoughts...if your pdoc doesn't agree to you weaning of the depokote and you have to do it behind her back, find a new pdoc. You will sabotage your treatment if you cannot be honest with your pdoc. I absolutely agree that it is your body, your choice so if you feel you are making a reasonable, educated change for valid reasons, you need to be with someone that respects that.

I haven't even discussed weaning off of meds with my pdoc. I don't see her that often. She doesn't really talk that much when we do meet. She asks me how I am doing. How I am feeling. Are the meds helping/not helping? Then we talk about whether to continue as I am, or to up the dosage, or to add something else to it. She tells me that it is common to be on several medications to help get stabilized. I do like her and feel that she listens to me, but I don't think I need to be seeing her. My therapist and I are working well together. Talking with her and taking something to help with anxiety and sleep issues seems to be the best for me. (I think?) I still have terribly bad days, though.

Secondly, I was reading up some on the controversy of using straight antidepressants (like the Effexor and Paxil you mentioned) with bipolar folks. There is the theory that adding meds like these to your combo will make it less effective. So, maybe one thing to ask a pdoc about is simplifying the meds you take so that they have a chance of working.

Currently I take Depakote and Welbutrin, as well as Ativan as needed. I should be totally weaned off of Depakote in the next few weeks. I was only taking that for about 6 months with NO results at all. Nothing. So the leaves me with Welbutrin. I am unsure about staying on that. I only take 150mg per day. My husband takes 3 times that much. I just don't want to deal with the side effects of meds

From what I read about some people and their bipolar stories, I don't think I have major bipolar issues. I am wondering if I am more BPD than bipolar. I know there is not much difference between them, except that bipolar is a chemical imbalance.

Bipolar runs in my family (grandmother, mother, 2 sisters, daughter), so I am pretty sure there is some truth to the diagnosis that I am also bipolar. I hate the mood swings, but I also hate the side effects from medications.

I have no doubt that I need to be on some type of treatment plan. I know that I have major issues with anxiety and coping skills. I take things to the EXTREME when I am triggered by something.

[Eliza Jane]

If you CAN talk to your pdoc about the decision to stop the depakote, you should. I am certainly no pdoc, but I wonder about the consequences of being on the Wellbutrin without the Depakote. Although I don't know about the Wellbutrin specifically, I know one of the risks of an antidepressant alone for BP folks is mania. You might be better off dropping the Wellbutrin before you are completely off the Depakote. Also, maybe you could get off these drugs faster than the schedule you created for yourself.

Also, if you like your pdoc and may want to involve her in your treatment either now or later, you don't want to burn this bridge. Dropping meds behind a pdoc's back has the potential to get you fired. She may no longer be willing to work with you if she labels you non-compliant.

Take care,
EJ

[Victoria'smom]

Robert: please be carful thinking "I realize that meds are needed." Helpful maybe, but with NEEDED you run the risk of thinking the meds make you a better person.

Squiggle328: Please make an appointment w/ your pdoc and ask her why she thinks it's bipolar and not borderline. She may have a reason. Talk to your therapist about it too, there's no reason why you can't treat it as both until you get more information about the why's.

Originally Posted by Eliza Jane

If you CAN talk to your pdoc about the decision to stop the depakote, you should. I am certainly no pdoc, but I wonder about the consequences of being on the Wellbutrin without the Depakote. Although I don't know about the Wellbutrin specifically, I know one of the risks of an antidepressant alone for BP folks is mania. You might be better off dropping the Wellbutrin before you are completely off the Depakote. Also, maybe you could get off these drugs faster than the schedule you created for yourself.

Also, if you like your pdoc and may want to involve her in your treatment either now or later, you don't want to burn this bridge. Dropping meds behind a pdoc's back has the potential to get you fired. She may no longer be willing to work with you if she labels you non-compliant.

Take care,
EJ

I do remember her telling me that too much Wellbutrin could cause mania. Maybe I should wean off of that too and start over fresh when I see her next time.

I don't see her as being one to drop me for non-compliance, but I may be wrong. She might actually do that. I hope not, but it could happen. At this point I don't care if she does. I cannot afford to see her that often because she is not in my network of insurance. When I was looking for a pdoc, I made sure to ask up front if they were in my network. I was told she was. The office kept telling me she was, but insurance was not paying at an 80/20 rate.

It was a big ordeal of me calling them and the insurance company. Insurance company said she was NOT in network, but her office kept telling me she was. They even got a bit nippy with me because I kept hounding them about it.

The bill had mounted to around $400 when I finally got angry and told their office to call the insurance company and get this straightened out! They did and realized they had been wrong all along. She apologized and they wrote off the entire bill! Thank God for that blessing!

Now that that is over with, I have to pay at a 50/50 rate or find another pdoc. I don't want to go through the process of finding someone else. Since I don't see her that often, it would be cheaper to stay with her, than to start fresh with someone else. This is because the start up cost for new patients is often $$$.

My therapist is actually the one who confirmed my diagnosis for being bipolar. Not my psychiatrist. My pdoc is just going on the info of my therapist and regular MD, as well as my family history of bipolar disorder.
I have no doubt that I am either BP or BPD.

Thanks for reminding me about the Wellbutrin. I forgot about that.

[BlackPup]

try the bipolar advantage website...
for me, I need meds... but I guess everyone is different. I don't think I'd take them if I felt they weren't working, but then you need to take your meds consistently to know if they work.
I have a great pdoc who doesn't stop adjusting my meds until the side effects are ok and they are working properly.

[RobertDark]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Robert: please be carful thinking "I realize that meds are needed." Helpful maybe, but with NEEDED you run the risk of thinking the meds make you a better person.

I think when I say the word "need" I mean I need them to just be "okay", whatever that is. I know I don't need them to make me the man I am or make me a good person, but I am starting to feel like I "need" them to cope with the brain I was given.