[Clinte89]

Hey everyone how do you come to learn or accept your diagnosis. Ive been trying to find all day how to not be BP although Ive been told by many people including my doctor that Im Bp. Ill admit to having large swings of highs and lows mostly lows on occasion highs and recently a mixed episode and every test I take check list tells me Im Bp as well. I still plan on talking to my doctor as to why he thinks Im Bp.

Anyway, How do you accept the fact that your bipolar, I know nasty word, but I had to use it at least once. How do you come to accept that what your doctor has said is true? How many of you have questioned it like I have? I only questioned it cause my friend said maybe your not bp which sounded like a great thing. How do you deal with the idea? I wished now I had never been Dx'ed in some ways cause before I could drink, I could be happy without being questioned about it and I could be depressed without people trying to cheer me up.

Let me know how you deal with these things as I need advice. Of course I will ask my pdoc how he came up with that Dx.
thanks

[Moose72]

I see myself inside the diagnosis that goes back 20 or 30 years. My personality developing because of the way I see the world. And I have taught myself how to recognize an episode and when to call my pdoc. These things will help and of cousteau taking your medications.

[Trippin2.0]

Self-acceptance has played a huge part in me being emotionally healthy. I see my bp as an extention of me. Not something to be feared and run away from. Idk how to be unipolar, I doubt I ever was, and trying to be, wishing, praying to be, just made me even more sick and miserable. The flipside of that coin would be focusing on the bp with a magnifying glass, that made me miserable and ill for a long time too, coz every action, every emotion was questionable, so I don't do that either. I took my power back, bp doesn't dictate my every action. I am ME, just with bp.All that means, is that I have to be careful in certain situations, eg alcohol, people that press the rage button. And also, just to learn to flow with the mental and emotional punches. Sure I get knocked down, sure it hurts ALOT at times, but atleast I KN0W why it's happening, and that it's TEMPORARY it's a personal journey of self-acceptance, a path you have to find for yourself. Maybe a T would be beneficial. Good luck

[cocoabeans]

I don't. I experimented with it but, I'm not bipolar. I might have bipolar moods but, that's all that is and so what if I do? Why do doctors label it anyway? And what does that label really imply?

I'd rather think away from the label and to experience. Yes, I share experience with "bipolar" but, I don't believe I have a hopeless "life long psychiatric condition" that requires constant medication.

BUT my "bipolar" hasn't had me lose a job, shocking my brain, hospitalized, in significant debt or arrested so, I guess it is pretty mild.

[brokenandalone1234]

I was 14 years old when I got my DX. I am now 22 years old and still having a hard time coming to terms with it. I have few supportive people in my life. Don't listen to your friends. If your doctor has came to this DX then he/she must see something your friends don't see. Bipolar is not a nasty word. It may sound nasty and scary but its not. I am working on helping to educate people about how to deal with people with mental illness.

[Clinte89]

Thanks everyone, it makes sense just after he said that ive been obsessed with the question , i do that alot. I guess if i can think of it like im not bp just have bp moods then that will help. Im not very bad off anyway i know people who have more trouble the. I so thats a blessing in a way to know im not that bad. I guess ill have to think of it that way so today im gonna obsess over that phrase. Ill accept it soon enough, its just difficult because before i could drink and i miss that still. When i was down i would drink and when up i would party like no one else lol. Well short story long thanks for explaining how to deal with jt and i am looking for a good t.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Self-acceptance has played a huge part in me being emotionally healthy. I see my bp as an extention of me. Not something to be feared and run away from. Idk how to be unipolar, I doubt I ever was, and trying to be, wishing, praying to be, just made me even more sick and miserable. The flipside of that coin would be focusing on the bp with a magnifying glass, that made me miserable and ill for a long time too, coz every action, every emotion was questionable, so I don't do that either. I took my power back, bp doesn't dictate my every action. I am ME, just with bp.All that means, is that I have to be careful in certain situations, eg alcohol, people that press the rage button. And also, just to learn to flow with the mental and emotional punches. Sure I get knocked down, sure it hurts ALOT at times, but atleast I KN0W why it's happening, and that it's TEMPORARY it's a personal journey of self-acceptance, a path you have to find for yourself. Maybe a T would be beneficial. Good luck

Well said, Trippin!

I don't know if I always accept the diagnosis, but I live with it. Some days I feel so great, that I think surely they got it wrong! But a few days later, I'm a bit too high, or a bit too low. I struggle with alcohol consumption, and I know that this may be a symptom of bp, but I also know that if I want to be my best, I must be careful. I struggle with a brain that sometimes makes very irrational decisions when hypomanic. Etc., etc.
Again, if I just live it instead of dwelling on the disease, I manage pretty well.

[faerie_moon_x]

Basically, it's easier to know that I'm bipolar than to think I'm just some very messed up person. At least the diagnosis lets me know I'm not a freak or all the bad things people said about me when I was younger... bipolar is better than those things.

[Clinte89]

I suppose your right. It explains alot I suppose.

Acceptance of a dx just takes time, it's a process, just like with everything else. There was a thread quite a while back about acceptance of bipolar and it being like a grieving process. It was a really great thread. I'll try to go back and find it for you.

I questioned my dx for years. I was dx at 17 an I rejected that. I was dx again at 27 and that time I took the dx and treatment but acceptance came a few years later. I think I said this to you in a different thread. About how I feel like its just a shared collection of symptoms ( not sure that makes me have a diseased mind) just that I do have these symptom or ways about me. And that's ok, but rather than focus on that I just focus on what I can do about it.

There are so many people out there who are dx or not not dx with anything that struggle with mental road blocks, dysfunction, learnt unhealthy mental skills , coping ect. And alot of them are working towards becoming a mentally healthier person. I don't really see bipolar as any different. It's a learning process that takes time to fiqure out.

I will say, like Trippin. That the more time I spent at dr appointments, therapists, group therapy.. the more ill I was. I was actively engaging in being a sick person and so I was sick all the time. I'm not saying of course to ditch all that. Finding a balance is important. I feel I was being over medicalized and that wasn't helping my situation. A lot of times we are told that this is a life long illness, and that might be true, but it comes off as a death sentence. I was put on disability and treated like I was mentally incapable for years. It was only when I decided that this was not going to take my life that things got better. Because I started to believe I wa incompetent as well.

There are a lot of things we can do to help ourselves with this outside of the dr's office too. I got a bit lucky with my first pdoc who encouraged me to use mindful meditation and to think outside the box. I've used meditation a lot, yoga also which is a moving meditation. Diet, healthy eating, stay away from alcohol and they like. All these things helped me more than anything did including meds. My perception changed a lot, how I view myself, others, and the world and that made a huge impact on my symptoms. I do believe in the power of mind over matter and that we do have more control than we feel like we do. But we aren't exactly taught that, told that, or shown how.

Again like Trippin said about taking the power back. You know you hear stories of people who were told they would never walk again, and you hear of some that decide that that isn't going to be true, they fiqured out some way to get there and they do walk again. That's a good example that humans can overcome things. I want to be one of those people that's walks again, lives again. I don't want bipolar to steal more from me than it already has so I'm going to take my power back.

That makes it sound easy but it's not. But it's doable, a dx of bipolar doesn't have to steal your life. I know when very depressed that feels like the farthest thing from the truth. But that's depression for you.. Liar of all liars.

Anyways sorry I'm rambling here. I'll go look for that thread.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=226895

Here is the link, sorry for my long winded post. It's hard for me to stop when it's a subject that gets me excited.

[Miss Laura]

I too am struggling with my diagnosis. My GP, Psych, CPN and Support Workers all tell me I need to accept it and in a way move on. Bipolar is not who I am it is a disorder I have that will be with me for life.

I hate admitting I am not well, I am not safe, I am ill. I rebel against everything that is good for me.... diet, exercise, life changes, acceptance, medication. I am slowly getting there though. Ye I take my meds now but I have blips where I don't want to take it. I don't do myself any favours by not taking my meds. I have loads of books on Bipoalr. Some are American written and some British written. I need Scottish books though but so far I haven't found it.

I think the key to acceptance is to read up on Bipolar and familiarise yourslef with your symptoms. Try and understand that you are NOT Bipolar, you HAVE Bipolar. You can control it ie meds and therapy but you can also not control it ie not taking your meds, not seeking help, abusing drugs etc. You need to take control of your life.

My GP told me last week I am very capable of working and living a "normal" life with Bipolar if I want/let myself do it. At the moment I am letting Bipolar control me but hopefully not for long.

Good luck on your journey of acceptance!

[Clinte89]

Thats a good idea. Maybe I read more A bout it and my family read more about it we would all understand what the symptoms are more so they wouldn't question my feeling

[Confusedinomicon]

I don't live like I have an illness.

I don't see it as a weakness.

I have weak moments, but they don't define me.

I live in the present and don't worry about the things I can't control and can't change.

I will be moody sometimes, I will cry, I will be irritated, I will hurt others...

But I will love, I will care, I can apologize for my actions and I will continually seek out solutions.

I'm human. My emotions are more extreme, and I hurt more because of my sensitivity. However, NOTHING I feel is discounted and I NEVER ask if my feelings are valid because they ALWAYS are. My feelings are NEVER "bipolar" feelings. They are MY feelings.

It's actually a pet peeve of mine when I am on the boards and I see a person questioning whether or not their perceived reality is valid or if it is the illness. So what if it's the illness? There is no time in this short life to try and pinpoint what "is" you and "isn't". If you went through a manic phase, all those feelings are real and should be embraced for what they are. Don't devalue your experience.

[Clinte89]

Thanks thats a good outlook im going to take that view. Thanks

[Blue Poppy]

When I was first diagnosed a year ago, I was actually relieved, as it answered a whole lot about my life thus far. I was also thinking that I had done all that was recommended for depression and had failed! It just turned out it was more than unipolar depression.
I was reading a book about the subject of bipolar and something stood out (sorry, can't remember the title). It talked about how sometimes people refer to themselves as "bipolar" rather than saying they have "bipolar disorder". I prefer to say the latter, as it reminds me that I am a human being who struggles with a condition. If you think about it, people with other diagnoses don't say, "I am cancer" or "I am arthritis". Some food for thought..............

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I see myself inside the diagnosis that goes back 20 or 30 years. My personality developing because of the way I see the world. And I have taught myself how to recognize an episode and when to call my pdoc. These things will help and of cousteau taking your medications.

I also see myself inside the dx that goes back decades, even though I was dx'd only a few years back. I do not question it, I believe it fully. But it took time to get here.

I have never been able to accept my diagnosis. I have learned to live this way since a child. I have not had the weeks or months of 'no symptoms' like others have had to normalize. I have rapid cycled since my onset I have created so many defense mechanisms. One of my biggest tools has been to use fantasy and change the way I think about things, my perspective, to cope. Now that I am more stable, I have no idea how to think about things or even knowing who I am. Are you lost too? I know it's grueling, but time and experience are the keystones of acceptance I believe.