easily distracted by...darkness??

Im not here or there but where am I? I'm not paying attention to the tv but staring at it...I remember nothing and when I try to focus on it I get nothingness. I am not dissociating, at least to my knowledge of what disssociating is. It hurts my ears to listen to people, my eyes are so sensitive, there is a rumbling always going on in my brain. I have a headache, I never get headaches unless I'm sick or hungover. I am sooo anxious and have nothing to be anxious over. I don't understand why this is happening. I never had to deal with any of these things when drinking heavily, everything could be blamed or fixed by alcohol. I don't know what I'm looking for here.

I sometimes feel like I'm here but I'm not here and my therapist said it probably is dissociation. I think its my meds.

I also have anxiety right now, for the last month its been through the roof- lots of changes and stress but I also have had it during times in my life where things were mostly ok. why? I don't know.

It's good that you are not drinking anymore. It sounds like your body was so used to it and now doesn't know how to respond? Maybe talk to your doctor.

Sounds like an episode of my type of mania to me. Are you also having racing thoughts? I don't get headaches exactly, but I get pressure in my forehead right in the middle of my eyebrows, like someone is pushing me with their finger... and my head feels like it's filling with water.

I don't have euphoric mania, but dysphoric mania and tend to mix very easily. Perhaps it's a good time to call your doctor?

For me, Spirals, it's that darned TV.

I dropped cablevision because the programs had become so deteriorated, and the images just stuck in my mind so badly that I had bad dreams about them. I have a sense that the images we look at sometimes affect our moods. Sensitivity is a big problem in bipolar illness for some of us.

I haven't regretted for one moment giving it up! Things are so pleasant and quiet, and I don't dream about things on TV. I still have to tell myself that once in a while a thought needs to get out of my head, thinking "this,too,shall pass"; but the TV has nothing to offer me. Thank goodness.

Try cutting it off for a night or two and see if things are a little more relaxed for you. I pick up a good book and give it an hour or so of time.

Genetic