Racing thoughts but no emotion??

I've been feeling really weird going on my second week now. Last week, (The 7th, 8th, and 10th,) I had explosive episodes those three days. I was feeling totally detatched and a lot of other weird stuff going on, if you read my other threads last week.

Now... I feel weird.

I'm having racing thoughts but I feel.... what? Distant. Kind of numb? Or not numb but blunted or flat. I'm usually really emotional up and down but I kind of feel like a zombie or something. But I'm racing like crazy, like i was last week. i'm all over the place my head won't slow down. But I'm not irritated or anything.

Another example. My aunt bought me a van. I drive a POS truck and we have been in need of a vehicle that we can all go in as a family, because right now we can't. I'm excited but I'm not. I don't have that normal bouncy excited. Just like. Oh. Good. That's very nice of you.

Has anyone else experienced that?

Yes, yes I can relate to that. I get very busy and could have something good happen and I would say great but I may not look happy.

I know exactly what you are talking about. I waited since last summer to go boating with my boys and hubby and while there I was like Yip, we're here, now what? It's not cool. If you can't get excited about things you would normally get excited about then what's the freaking point of living?

i've even mentioned to my p/doc that all my emotions are blunted..even the feelings of love towards my hubby of 27 years and he's a loving, affectionate man. for me, i've been on meds for more than 30 yrs. and i attribute the blunted or no emotional affect to the meds...yes, i still have racing thoughts and it feels like a circus and carnival in my head alot yet the emotions seem gone. would love others input if they think it's the meds cause i consider myself a caring, empathetic loving woman...but blunted.

Well, my input right here is I'm not on meds...

I feel so strange. I know this isn't the first time this has happened. Many times my husband has called me zombie and got mad at me a few times even. Like once he set up a whole Valentines day for us and I was just like, "Oh. That's good." And he got mad because I didn't to the "SQUEEE!" I was actually very excited and surprised.

I look back at family albums and it's a party all around me and there I am with a blank face. People used to say to me all the time when I was in my late teens "What's wrong?" I would feel totally fine and be confused why they were asking me what was wrong...

I can relate. I sometimes explain to people that if I dont act excited. I really am its just hard sometimes to be emotional. Idk why it just is. But maybe if you cant fake it let them know your very greatful and excited but just cant feel it right now. Also just having that much on your mind can be a bother.

It's really helpful to hear you all say it's something that you all experience, too. I get worried about these things sometimes. I have a lot going on at the moment so this is relieving.

I can relate to that dark heart, and I can relate to that feeling off meds too. Usually for me I think it's a low level depression, well unless I'm full on depressed. Even when I'm mildly down I have a problem feeling excited about exciting things.

Maybe at times like that a good thing to do would be to send a thank you note or card. Just to express your gratitude, that way the other person knows how you feel and you won't feel as worried hopefully or guilty about your feelings ( if you do, I know I worry excessively about those things)

And if you have a lot going on right now that really could be it, just stress maybe. When I'm stressed I think my mind sort of filters my emotions a bit so that I can get done whatever needs to be done. Just getting through the moments.

Thanks. Haha, I would never think of thank you notes. I am anti-thank you note... it's a long story, don't ask.... >.>

Anyway, I've been having hallucinations recently it seems. Oh goody. I'm in process to get into some treatment. It's taking forever. I'm trying to determine if I'm delusional or paranoid... but... isn't that the problem with delusions and paranoia, that you can't tell it's happening?

But on the other side of it, I'm having these crazy chest pains every morning that wake me up. Just called the doctor again today about that, because the one this morning lasted 8 full minutes. My lips were blue and everything because I can't breath, and I don't think that's panic. So on the one hand I'm losing my mind, on the other hand something is wrong physically. And we're so broke right now...

I won't ask.

Ouch that doesn't sound good . I really hope nothing is too wrong!!! Sometimes people who are paranoid or delusional can tell, well after a while. I get like that when I have psychosis but after a while I can usually clue in to the fact that I've lost touch with reality. I think that goes for how much insight a person is able to have under those corcumstances. I think a lot of bipolars have more insight into psychosis than schizophrenics, probably due to serverity of the psychosis at the time. Of course though bipolars to at times can lack insight into psychosis.

Man it sucks. And I am so sorry. I despise that fact that money should ever come between people and health services. It's something I cannot grasp. I know our health system isn't perfect either, but going to the doctor or getting treatment when needed I really do appreciate. I try to understand what it's like to not have that available. All I can say is that it isn't right.

I hope you can get your needed treatment soon Dark Heart. Your so strong, keep plugging away at it. I'll keep you in my thoughts for good health!

Yes, it's horrible to think, "It's either go to the doctor for chest pain or buy food for my kids?" Even with insurance my co-pay is so high, and we pay $15,000 a year for our insurance. So it's stupid we have this and we can't use it. I discovered most psychologists in my area are actually $10 cheaper than my co-pay to see one, but still it's more than I have....

anyway... don't want to trigger myself...

I felt non-emotional when I was on celexa the first time. I also had no idea how I'd gotten where I'd driven. The next time I was on celexa I just went very hypo. Go figure.

I
Dark Heart I'm so sorry that your going through so much at the same time.

Dark Heart I hope you are ok

...yeah I think (probably a racing thought too)...I think that there is a limit to how much we can 'feef' or be emotional...up to the point when we just get this 'emotional screensaver' goin' on

I mean I get overloads of emotion and feelings at random and it's too much for my brain to process it just don't seem to fit into the world around me.

but the brain is just one instrument and our feelings try to play music on the damn thing and often by the time the mood has passed ya end up with an orchestra in your head.

...and a mad conductor...and there be no-one left in the audience they went home ages ago.

hmmm...another weird idea

....its all ok DX....hope your'e ok

This is a good analogy. The brain is just one instrument and not a whole orchestra... Well, I've got the orchestra, the choir, and the rock band going. LOL...

Thanks to everyone. I'm getting scared about my non-bipolar problem. Last night Me and my husband were finally having an alone moment and what happens? I start crying and he's like what's wrong?? And I was just overwhelmed with feeling scared and said so. Trying to figure out how to get in to the doctor so they can run more tests on me.

Thankfully I have a very reassuring husband. So far I've told him I'm terrified they sowed up some instrument inside me after my c-section by accident, and he reassured me saying they count everything, even sponges.