Thinking of really giving therapy another try

How has therapy helped you if it did? I've never really actually benefited from therapy because it was always trauma based. How has it directly helped you with bipolar? I don't want to be in therapy for a long time. I find this site has been useful as far as opening up about how I am thinking/maybe feeling? I don't know I guess I am a bit scared to open up after the last time I did...I ended up going completely bonkers..it is hard, obviously, talking about past issues that I feel shouldn't be touched. I went thru 5 merri-go-counselors in less than a year and I feel like all of them just wanted to talk about my childhood. I am not a child anymore obviously and I don't feel it is necessary to dwell on things I have no way of going back and changing. Does a light bulb go off as soon as every memory/feeling gets drug out of you? I mean if one does then I'm all for it but all I know is it causes more **** than fixes things.

Also another question. Do you guys tend to blame everything on your mental illness like I feel anxious, must be the bp or I feel lonely, must be the bpd...is there a balance that you have found that makes you not even go there after a while? Like just owning your thoughts and nothing more? Sorry I'm really struggling.

T really helped me understand how and why I felt certain things about myself, and why I would (over) react in certain ways. We touched on some of the sensitive things in my past and left others alone. It was really about identifying the things that were stopping me from believing that I had value and worth. Now I react a lot less to things and I'm more comfortable in my skin. I stopped therapy because I moved towns but would probably of continued for a little longer if I could have stayed with my therapist. At times I took breaks if we were about to open up things I wasn't ready to deal with.
Its really hard to find someone that you connect with, so I would try out a few different counsellors on some surface or easy problems then continue with the one you have the most repore with. To me it was really helpful to look at how the past had shaped how I see myself and understanding that was the key to changing the way I felt about myself.
I don't blame everything on my BP, I know that at the moment my sadness is situational and understandable - its a ****** situation to be in, but I can also tell when it is the BP talking or when its me overreacting to something cos of the way I think about myself.

Hey Christy, I think good for you that you're open to even playing with the idea of therapy again. Sounds like the last ones were bad experience.

Most of the therapy I've done has been very much in the now, like talking through things going on in my life and how to best handle them. A lot of it is about getting to the root of emotions and leading to a deeper understanding of myself. Relating directly to bipolar, this helps me learn to really reason things out. For example, a couple days ago I got panicky that I was going to fall into depression again. But I had awareness that I was tending towards catastrophic thinking, black-white thinking, and almost like the urge to smoke after you've quit, I rode it out, used my skills learned in therapy and didn't fall. I let myself have a day of crying and kept on going.

Regarding going to childhood issues, I did have one therapist who really wanted me to remember something from my childhood, something anything. The memories weren't there and I was annoyed she wanted to go there. So if that happens to you, you're the client, tell them you don't want to go there.

Your last question, do I blame everything on the mental illness? No... I don't... at every session with my pdoc, she asks me whats going on around me in addition to how is mood. So that has really helped me have a larger perspective to the triggers affecting my mood. It's like being able to see that I'm a tree in a forest, not the only tree, like I don't have to feel so alone. I'm not sure if that makes sense?

I hope this helps, I think everyone can benefit from therapy if they're into it. And you need to find the right person to work with and all that.

There are many different kids of therapy. It sounds like you are looking for a here and now,and a helpful trainer. If you say that upfront, you are less likely to have to mess around with someone digging into your childhood.

Hiya Christy ,

I have been seeing my Tdoc for over a year now ... Alot of MY issues I have found relate back to my childhood teenage and up until now... But I was willing to go back that far to try and understand WHY I react the way I do . I adore my T ...Hes the only one I can be totally honest with ..

For me right now I need my T weekly or bi weekly ... I am still learning how to manage Bipolar and my life and how to avoid the pitfalls of this chemical imbalance .

Personally I would give up my pdoc and meds before I would give up my T

I think the key to having a good response to therapy is finding the Right T and there being open dialogue between T and client... Every relationship is built on trust. If you are in therapy and its heading in a direction you dont want to discuss ,,let the therapist know.... as long as you Both are heading in the right direction its all good

Good luck deciding whether not to jump back in the Therapy pool

I just wanted to say thank you very much for your responses. It is empowering to see that directing your own sessions is done. I was always so passive...maybe not the right word...confused and let them take the reins. Thanks again