Gonna do my best to explain

The best way to describe me (this is hard for me to do because I am so confused all the time) is to say that everything is too much. Lights are too bright, sounds are too loud, bored is too bored, happy is too happy...There is not a normal level for me, ever really. Its not that all or nothing mentality I am talking about, its all sensations and feelings. I suppose my brain catches up and rears its ugly thoughts into there but the feelings and sensations are always first. There are minutes/hours sometimes when things are calm and I can't honestly say I like that either because it is, again, too calm for my comfort level. Does this even sound like bipolar?

..it don't only sound like it Spirally one....it smells like it tastes like it feels like it and God save us all it looks like it even with my eyes closed...

Are you on medications, Christy Spirals? What you're experiencing sounds a little more like a reaction to drugs than to bipolar illness, but then everyone's symptoms are probably different. It's the balance you're struggling for, and I hope it comes soon. Try an aspirin--funny as that sounds, my psychiatrist recommended it for the inflammation.

When the "brain's ugly thoughts come", picture them disintegrating into nothingness and being blown far from your brain. That helps.

That's one characteristic that I have, and I've found the answer to it by accepting the fact that they spring from somewhere deep in the unconscious, and all we have to do is let them go--they're meant to be dissolved and released so that the mind remains clean and clear and fresh--swept clean, so to speak.

Genetic

I'm sort of on meds,when I take them. Its been like this all my life. It intensifies as my moods change, if I'm happy things don't bother me so much, if I'm happy irritable look out, if I'm depressed things don't bother me so much, depressed irritable again look out.

Oh maybe it would be good to mention I was told I have cyclothmia or whatever it's called.

It sounds like you were like that pre-meds, right?

yep premeds

That's what I thought. The disease that was mentioned to you is called cyclothymia, and no, I think, it is too mild a diagnosis for you.

I have thought about that before. When he was showing me on the diagram he said I seemed like this but was closer to bp11 and he wanted to see what these meds would do to help. Thanks.

I agree with Hamster-bamster on this one. The mild hypomanic state is a reaction to depression (according to a psychiatrist I saw). So what is underneath your feelings right now is an underlying depression that needs to be corrected, in my view.

Cyclothymia ia a mild form of manic-depressive illness without psychotic features. So you need medication that will settle things for you. It shouldn't be difficult to
tolerate the small dosage you will need to become chemically stable.

I wish you good success in alleviating the illness. You'll be saving yourself a lot of
difficult times later if you learn early now how to manage this illness.

Good luck on your efforts.

Genetic

I was staring at my neighbors window and saw the blinds moving and I think (not sure) that they are spying on me. Realistically I know this is probably not true but it still seems true. I think they are taking pictures and sending them to someone I don't like. Pictures of me and my kids. To me that is a psychotic feature or maybe they really are doing it. I want to go spray paint their windows black on the outside really really badly.

I am telling you this is not cyclothymia. Not a common cold either, for that matter. What drugs are you supposed to take?

Too much? Yip, like James said, it looks, sounds, smells and tastes like bipolar. Sensory overload for me is usually at my worst during hypomania. Level? I tried that trick with meds and ended up ripping out my hair! I was like 'WHAT IS THAT?' 'What am I even supposed to do with it?' and 'people actually LIVE like this?' Ugh, never again. Christy.

50 mg seroquel, 15 remeron, 50 trazadone...as needed.

That's how I feel when I am calm too trippin, I don't feel an ounce of comfort in it because maybe it is too slow or...I don't know...it just feels not calm if that makes any sense.

Seroquel is an antipsychotic, but in higher doses than 50mg. 50mg is a sleeping dose. I think you should be getting a real AP.

I will say that this combo did slow my thoughts down a little, they are right back up there again tho...There is music in my head again, nonstop music. This time though the music is to a song I don't know so it is very annoying. Thanks hamster, I will let the pdoc know on tues that meds aren't cracked up to what he thinks they are.

I agree with HB, doesn't sound cyclo to me... Please stay away from the spray paint.

sensitivity to light and sound is a sign of migrains. My only other sign of having a migrain is my head feels tight.

Fortunately I don't suffer from migraines.

I do and my son does have sensitivity to light and sound, pre-med and post-med. I was resistant but lithium helps somewhat. Been 6 months on it. I still feel hypo but it doesn't / hasn't crossed that line through the roof where I'm doing **** I regret. I want to spray paint your neighbors windows with you, those f-ers. But best not, you know...

It sounds like a manic trait so if your bipolar then it falls within your diagnostic level for bipolar. If your not bipolar then go get checked.

Sounds like me I'm super-sensitive. I couldn't even sit through the opening ceremonies last night. It was too loud, the lights too much. and I'm on meds.

I think these reactions can be part of Bipolar. ....for SOME people.

Late post but wanted to comment..../

I don't necessarily think the sensory overload is bipolar for everyone either. I have an anxiety disorder as well and it "seems" from what my P-Doc tells me my hypersensitivity to light/sound/etc. is from my anxiety not being in check. I'm not sure...we're trying to tweak it among other things at the moment. In fact I've never read anywhere in symptoms of Bipolar that sensory overload is a symptom (though I guess technically hypomania as result of depression could certainly be an example).

Either way hope you've gotten the help you've needed Christy!