[Mimzee121]

I don't know if i'm manic or if I just have a hormonal imbalance or what, but once in a while I think of the easiest and least painful way to kill myself. I can't sleep, I certainly can't eat, I don't feel right inside of my body, I feel like I have no control over what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. My communication skills are non-existent at this point. I could hardly make sense of what I'm saying and it's embarrassing to try and talk to people.
Since the beginning of last November I started to feel more depressed than usual. I've dealt with depression since I was 12 (I'm 26 now), and I never really experienced seasonal depression, but for four months now I've been feeling very mentally and physically exhausted.
I'm a very distrustful and paranoid person, and it's always been very hard for me to open up to people. I have one close friend and the rest are close acquaintances that I force myself to meet up with once in a while so I appear "normal."
Anyway, I wanted to make this brief because who really wants to read about my entire biography.
All I really want out of this is to know that I'm not the only one suffering. I just don't want to feel alone in this hell I'm traveling back and forth from all the time. My close friend also suffers from this illness, and I care for him, but I think I'd like to hear about how others deal with this sort of thing.

Originally Posted by Mimzee121

I don't know if i'm manic or if I just have a hormonal imbalance or what, but once in a while I think of the easiest and least painful way to kill myself. I can't sleep, I certainly can't eat, I don't feel right inside of my body, I feel like I have no control over what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. My communication skills are non-existent at this point. I could hardly make sense of what I'm saying and it's embarrassing to try and talk to people.
Since the beginning of last November I started to feel more depressed than usual. I've dealt with depression since I was 12 (I'm 26 now), and I never really experienced seasonal depression, but for four months now I've been feeling very mentally and physically exhausted.
I'm a very distrustful and paranoid person, and it's always been very hard for me to open up to people. I have one close friend and the rest are close acquaintances that I force myself to meet up with once in a while so I appear "normal."
Anyway, I wanted to make this brief because who really wants to read about my entire biography.
All I really want out of this is to know that I'm not the only one suffering. I just don't want to feel alone in this hell I'm traveling back and forth from all the time. My close friend also suffers from this illness, and I care for him, but I think I'd like to hear about how others deal with this sort of thing.

Do u have a pdoc (psychiatrist) or a therapist? That is where I would start. To me u sound like u could be in a mixed state. Google it. However, I am not a doc so I or really anybody on this forum can't diagnose you. Jmo, of course.

I'm sorry u are feeling this way. Look at my signature for ways that help me cope. Also try googling dbt skills. The distress tolerance ones usually help at least somewhat when I feel as u describe.

You aren't alone, I know sometimes we feel that way but u can always post on here.
I hope u feel better soon.

[Victoria'smom]

I think you really need to talk to a T or Pdoc because your having impulsive dark thoughts.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Mimzee121

I can't sleep, I certainly can't eat, I don't feel right inside of my body, I feel like I have no control over what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. My communication skills are non-existent at this point. I could hardly make sense of what I'm saying and it's embarrassing to try and talk to people.

You need a doctor and a therapist to work towards establishing a sleeping routine and a food intake schedule, and only after those basics are put in place you can advance to higher order functions such as communication with other people.

[Darth Bane]

yes regular sleep is most important and so is good food.... currently i am facing huge amount of stress.... i don't want to eat... but i am forcing myself to go out and eat food for last two days... still i ate less yesterday night... you should force yourself to sleep for good 8-9 hours... sometimes (alright many times) i wake up after 5 hours of sleep... but then again i try to go to sleep... i have to wait for 2 more hours but i can sleep 4 more hours then... also you need meds and good pdoc and T