[Zoesmom]

I haven't said anything on here but I've been worried lately about my hubby. Basically back at the end of May we went to the ER bc he had horrible stomach pains. They were pretty sure it was a ruptured apendix but there was a mass in front of it and couldn't get a good pic of it. But knew it had attached itself to the colon wall.

Cancer was brought up then. Hoping the mass wasn't cancerous. They didn't want to cut on him then concerned that it was too dangerous at that point and it would spread all thru out his abdomen. He wanted the infection to go down before they operated.

He stayed 5 days there on iv meds. Came home on 2 antibiotics. It's been weeks and weeks of cat scans, more and more of antibiotics. Finally 7/27 they did the surgery. Took out the mass, removed the apendix. Then is when they realized the mass had gone thru the colon wall.

While on the table in OR they froze the mass and cut it and it didn't look good. At that point the surgeon removed 1/3 of his colon. We finally got his diagnosis today. It's colon cancer The mass and the appendix were cancerous too. Level 2

We will see the oncologist after they call us with the appt time. They said the 14 lymph nodes did not have cancer in them...thank Goodness.

I hadn't been taking my meds lately. This morning my mind was racing and I was all over the place. I went into the gutter in a split second. I'm exhausted and just want to sleep. I'm worried about him!

I need to be strong now for him and my son. I just can't right now. How can I go from one extreme to another in a moment? Why can't I be normal

I am soooooo sorry to hear this! My heart goes out to you and your family. Just.... just survive the rollercoaster. There is no way to do it gracefully, you can only just hold on and be there.

[eloquentdisaster]

I am so sorry for both you and your husband. I really have no words, but my thoughts are with you.

[Blue Poppy]

I am sorry that you have had this bad news. I can't imagine what you are going through. Post as often as you need and we will help you find the strength to get through this tough time.

I'm so sorry, Zoesmom, and any wife would react just as you did, in my view. The fact that the lymph nodes look clear is very encouraging. It could be uphill from
now on. Let's hope so.

Try to stay calm for yourself and your child's sake. Please watch over your husband as best you can, but remember that your health is important, too; you are the major care giver for the time being.

If it gets too strong for you, please call in a licensed practical nurse to assist temporarily. That could give you a break; or, if your insurance permits, please think about employing an RN to oversee the first weeks at home for your husband.

You might ask your doctor about special help at home. He could order it, probably.

Take care.

[SillyKitty]

I am so sorry for you, your son, and you husband. My thoughts are with you all.

Did they say if the removal of the colon got all of the cancer or not? Definitely a frightening and exhausting thing to be going through. We've been through cancer several times over the years with my sisters, including colon cancer. In her case they did manage to get all of the cancer through surgery. She did radiation treatments following the surgery. 1/3 of the colon will certainly affect him regardless.

Take care of your own health as a priority because this will be a strain on you and probably will affect your bipolar symptoms. Give your pdoc a heads up about what is going on if you haven't already so he can help monitor you during this stressful time.

My prayers go up for you and your husband.

[~Christina]

Im so sorry you got this news. Please get back on your meds if possible , maybe it will help you cope and get your family through all of this.

[Clinte89]

I can't imagine what your goin through but all I can say is hope for the best and I hope everything works out I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts. Think about this out of all that at least there is some good news. Also they say the best way to save a drowning person is to put your life jacket on first basically take care of yourself so you can take care of other duties.

[Victoria'smom]

You're in my thoughts.

[Zoesmom]

Thank you all for all the well wishes. Thought he got it all... The thing he is most worried about is when the appendix ruptured in May. Could have spread.

I remember him saying nothing is written in stone. It could come back or maybe never come back.

Unfortunately, hubby has no insurance. Got layed off in Dec after 30 yrs.
He went to a Bon Secours hospital and finally got approved for their medical card. They pay most of the bill if it's a bon secours hospital, center or doc ect.. I couldn't afford to have a nurse come in, plus he's getting up a little now.

His surgeon was not a bon secours surgeon. We had to pay him UP FRONT but thankfully he cut us a big break.

My hubby and son are both telling me I'm snapping at them. I can tell I'm irritating both of them. Really not sure what I'm doing. I did go lay down for a couple hours, just rested. Hubby is taking this way better than me.

Also, I must have dissociated near the end of the visit bc I don't remember leaving the office. I do this most often is when I get very very down. Thanks again guys

[PiperLeigh]

Susie, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hoping for a positive outcome for your husband. ((hugs))

[BlackPup]

Thinking and praying for you both. Hope they got it all and the follow up treatment goes well.

Please let your psychiatrist know how you're reacting; he might want to add a medication to help temporarily. It would be good to take something he recommends if you need it during your husband's recovery.

Please be gentle--that means everything to your son and husband.

The other things are unimportant for the moment: just you, your son, and your husband are your undivided interests, I would think. Please get assistance for
yourself if you need it--in terms of sleep, rest, calmness, etc.

Take care. Prayers are going up for you and your family.

[likewater]

Praying for you,your husband, and son.

[BlueInanna]

(((Suzie))) hope you are doing ok today.

[Zoesmom]

Just checking in with you guys. I'm taking my daily meds. Also I'm supposed to take 4 Xanax a day but usually only have to take one. I'm on my 3rd one bc of panic attacks.

Why can't I handle stuff like this better? Somebody recommended calling my pdoc, thanks maybe I will tomorrow. I tried calling my therapist and he's on vacation till Sat. Left him a msg.

I feel very anxious today and I'm dissociating. Losing time. I can't even make dinner, can't complete a thing. Feel so useless. Not totally sure what I've done but hubby and son are treating me weird.

[missbelle]

I hope all works out. Medicine is wonderful now and colon cancer can be beaten. I will be thinking of you and your hubby!!

[missbelle]

Originally Posted by Zoesmom

Just checking in with you guys. I'm taking my daily meds. Also I'm supposed to take 4 Xanax a day but usually only have to take one. I'm on my 3rd one bc of panic attacks.

Why can't I handle stuff like this better? Somebody recommended calling my pdoc, thanks maybe I will tomorrow. I tried calling my therapist and he's on vacation till Sat. Left him a msg.

I feel very anxious today and I'm dissociating. Losing time. I can't even make dinner, can't complete a thing. Feel so useless. Not totally sure what I've done but hubby and son are treating me weird.

Just read this after I posted a little note to you..This is big stuff. Its not like a pipe broke in the house. Of course you will have anxiety!! There would be something wrong with you if you didn't. Yes, call the pdoc and when the therapist comes back you can also see him.

What do you mean"'why can't I handle stuff like this better"You are doing your very best with bad news.Hang in there. You are not super woman. You are a wife and mother who loves your husband who is being threatened.We will be right here for you whenever you need us!!

Zoesmom, you're dealing with what could have been a life-threatening situation for
your husband. It's natural that you would have been in a panic state for hours after
the surgery was completed and until you learned that your husband is going to be fine, so far as the doctors know.

Try to bring yourself into tonight in your thinking and care for your son with all your love and then go to your husband to help where you can there. Then, relax, rest, and know that you did the best you could for your family for this one day.

Tomorrow will have its own things to take care of. Live one day at a time until you
feel more secure. That's how you get through these things.

You're panicing, I think, out of residual fear regarding his life's danger before surgery.

Now it's time to let those emotions go in the privacy of your own bedroom with all the tears you need to get it out of your system. Then, thank the Heavenly Powers that he is going to be okay and try to concentrate on one day only. (Been there, done that.)

Doing things for them, Zoesmom, is what's going to make you stronger--that and
getting proper rest at night. Get your rest schedule established and try to adhere to it.

If you feel you need it, contact your psychiatrist. Otherwise, think about trying
to keep the home situation as normal as possible. Tomorrow morning, it's breakfast for your son, then off to work or the hospital, or whatever your schedule is. Everyone is alive and going to be well very soon. Think about those things, including what a great Christmas your son will have this year.

Take care; the prayers are going up, I know.

Talk to you later.

Genetic

[Itsmejen2001]

Zoesmom, you are doing what you can. By taking your meds, talking on here, etc. you are doing what you need to do. I'm sure this wouldn't be any easier for a person without BP. My heart goes out to you and your family. God bless you.

[Zoesmom]

1 minute I think Thank the Lord they caught it bc of the appendix rupturing. Otherwise they wouldn't have caught it till much later. Trying to think positively. Then the next moment I'm in the gutter or racing thoughts and can't concentrate. Emotional Rollercoaster!

I know anybody would be upset/scared in this situation. But I just know I'm not handling this well. I will try very hard to just take it one day at the time. Also will try to do normal things around here..that's tough. They need me & I can't be zoning out or on this emotional rollercoaster.

Thank you all for your support, it means the world to me.

[bluemountains]

(((Susie)))
I am so sorry for what your family is dealing with now. You have a lot on you, and it sounds like you are working very hard to do what's best for your husband and son.
Do you have anyone-family, friends, neighbors-to help you with your needs?
Bluemountains

Originally Posted by Zoesmom

1 minute I think Thank the Lord they caught it bc of the appendix rupturing. Otherwise they wouldn't have caught it till much later. Trying to think positively. Then the next moment I'm in the gutter or racing thoughts and can't concentrate. Emotional Rollercoaster!

I know anybody would be upset/scared in this situation. But I just know I'm not handling this well. I will try very hard to just take it one day at the time. Also will try to do normal things around here..that's tough. They need me & I can't be zoning out or on this emotional rollercoaster.

Thank you all for your support, it means the world to me.

__________________________
Each day now will be a little better. Do a little grocery shopping if you can just to make the routine seem like your regular lifestyle. Remember, one day at a time is the way you get through these things. (And it is a roller coaster, but that will end when he gets home and sleeps in his own bed the first night--or maybe even sooner than that if you get comfortable with knowing he's going to be okay.

2nd prayer going up now.

Take care

Genetic

How are things today, Zoesmom? Better, I hope.

Genetic