Some things bothering me...

I'm in this mixed hypo/depression and it's not fun. Last weekend I went to a hotel with 4 girlfriends for a night and got wasted. I set out like I would just be mellow, maybe have a beer but got wasted all night. I'm upset because one girl was the first time I met her and she reached down my shirt and grabbed my boob. Then she yelled at me because I had pulled her away from talking to the bouncer at the bar when they were closing and kicking us out. Then she kissed me later. I don't like her strong come-on approach. Then she told me she slept with my girlfriend there, the one I have an ongoing relationship with for 4 years. My boyfriend knows about the girlfriend it's all fine. but i feel like new girl was trying to do this stuff for attention and being controlling. now she's sending me messages on facebook to be friends, sending me compliments. I'm annoyed, i want to ignore her, but don't want to be petty and rude.

there's so much on my mind, it won't stop, that above is just a small thing. i can't sleep and my younger son starts school in 4 hours. i can't find a lunch box for him i dont know where they all went. i've got all the other required school supplies ready, but i forgot about the lunchbox! i think i will just send his luch in a plastic bag or something. i use these tupperwares so they won't fit in regular brown paper lunch bag. ughh i hate when school starts. i will have a hard time in the morning. Luckily my son is excited for school, all clothes (nothing new, just old clothes), socks and shoes all ready, he had his shower last night. I forgot to get him a haircut all summer, so it's all cute and blonde and getting long again. God he is such a good kid. I really hope he doesn't inherit any bp from me.

something else is bothering me, i had a friend come over today unannounced. i told her i did not feel like hanging out and she came over anyway, i even told her i have pink eye. and she says she's a nurse and knows how to stay away from my pink eye germs and she wont stop talking. she has all these issues going on... (like i'm dumping on you guys right now - sorry). brings her dog and just gets in my pool, i don't want all this dog hair in my pool... it makes the pump fail and i can't afford to fix it if that happens. but i didnt say anything, didnt want to be rude, just hoping they'd leave soon. i even told her that i only want to visit for an hour. i told her about my older son being hospitalized last week and was just back home, and i'm going through a lot and don't want company. but she set up camp, told me she knows what i need and it's beer and pot. i did end up partaking, which i havent done in a long time. but then something happened to me like the stress and anxiety, and I went and found older son's cigarettes and smoke 2 of them, ughh gross... I almost made it a year without smoking, but it felt like another person just picked up the cig and was this version of me that's going to take care of business, like there is too much to do and too much to process and the weak and depressed version of me isn't capable of making it through this time with older son just home from hospital, and lucky he's alive, and then younger son starting school tomorrow, and she's also apparantly not capable of setting boundaries with people invading my space and my body. If this is another version of me, I need her, hope she sticks around minus the cigarettes, because I can't get through this on my own.

Thank you for listening.

With so much on your plate with your older son, it's no wonder that you are looking for some much needed relief! I would say, "Give yourself a break!" It sounds like your BF is supportive... maybe he can help buffer all these girls pounding down your door? lol.

Just hang in there Blue.. it can only get better

Blue Inanna, I don't think you're being rude by getting the woman out of your life
who made advances to you. It's sad that there are people out there who have so little respect for others. You should be glad, in my view, that she's leaves and never tries to contact you again. That is not a friend. That's an aggressive, probably sadistic individual who will be bad news in your life.

The friend who brought the dog over and visited for so long telling you that you needed marijuana and beer isn't a friend, either, frankly.

Friends are those who mean well for you, not those who want something from you or expect you to cater to their desires.

Look for friends in people who are considerate, who have boundaries, and are respectful. I know it seems as though they're hard to find, and maybe they are, but they're worth the wait.

Take care of you and your little son, and I hope your boyfriend will give you good advice about the people you meet. Ask his opinion on all of this. I would imagine that he would much rather you try to limit your friendships to real friends than the type you've seen recently.

I hope your little son loves school; glad he's looking forward to it. My own nephew, years ago, when he attended school for one week said to his mom, "well, I've had enough of that now, Mom, and I want to go on to something else."

Take care.

Thanks so much for the responses

Cute story about the nephew, Genetic My older 2, the teens, hate school, I didn't get them help early enough and they really struggled, now both have bp dx, and we're just trying to figure out what to do with their lives.

But my youngest son, is doing really well. He had a speech impediment (couldn't pronounce "R's" rabbit was wabbit, was pretty cute) and graduated from speech class last year at age 10. He's still going to be getting help and going to special ed because he has a visual processing disorder and writing and reading are especially difficult for him. I've been having a little fight going on with the school regarding their lack of follow through on the promise to provide audio files to go along with his books. It's in his IEP, so I suppose I could sue them if I could muster up the time & energy.

The woman who made advances is not someone I need in my life, she is gorgeous, but I'm afraid she drinks too much, and she showed me her "pill stash" of morphine that I don't want to see. I don't even want to see my pills every day. I think I can just ignore her.

The second woman, the nurse with the dog, she used to be a much more stable seeming person. But her oldest son died earlier this year, he had schizophrenia and od'd on heroin. And her middle son was just put in jail for something unmentionable that I hope is untrue. And she's got this guy in Africa, claiming to be a millionaire from the US who she met on the internet, and she's sending him money, over $2k usd so far. About to send him $10k because he says he's wrongfully being held in some Nigerian prison! She believes all this and won't hear any advice about it. She's just a nurse, makes decent money, but not enough to send someone she doesn't even know $10k, wtf. I told her I'm concerned for her mental health and she seems out of touch with reality, but she won't hear it. So I'm willing to still try to be a friend to her, but I don't want the cold-calls to my home. I really like my private space, I live in the woods and don't like people to show up uninvited. I need to figure out how to say it to her effectively. Perhaps if I just repeat myself 20 times over and over she will finally hear it and respect it?

I could ask the bf for help. We don't live together, he goes out of town fishing and dirtbiking a lot. He's faithful, but he's a bit strange emotionally avoidant. But he's big & strong and has his own business, owns his own house, a bit older than me, respected in the community. I'm not sure how I could ask him to help?

The first woman, he will say it's my own problem I got into and to figure out how to get rid of her if I don't like her.

The second woman, he would probably be willing to tell her off and it would not be pretty, maybe he'd tell her "you're fired!" LOL....

Maybe a little "me time" was needed?

I can't stand when people just stop by. You weren't rude at all. She was.

OK I'm just going to be nosy and ask -- You have a bf and a gf?

Yes, lol Purple, you can ask. But the gf is a sometimes thing, just for fun, we haven't been intimate in many months. She's a single mom too, and dates men. I do have a commitment with my bf. The main prob with him is that he is great with my 10 yr old but doesn't love my older son... and I love my kids way more than I love him. Just how it is. So I really don't think I've found the right man yet.

Oh -- and how do I tell boundary crosser not to just show up at my place without crushing her feelings?? I should know how to do this...

Tell her you love her and how much her friendship means to you BUT there are times you are just not up to having company,and ask her to call you before and see if its a good day to visit or not .

A good friend would understand this .

Good luck

I do not use FB, so I might be wrong, but isn't there a way to *block* the woman who grabbed your boob?

Yep could block her, but I barely use facebook anymore so it's easy to just ignore her.

I still can't get over that you have two girls pounding down your door to get at you! lol! your in high demand!

Lol, the second friend I'm discussing, the nurse, is just a friend - and we can be friends so long as she doesn't show up at my house uninvited.