just want someone to talk to

Hi lands,
I agree with Moose and Tiger lily that you will still experience cycling, it just shouldn't be so extreme when you get you meds in order. If you are seeing your pdoc every 4 weeks, then it sounds like you are still working to get the right combination. I have had very extreme depression episodes that lasted for a long time, several weeks or even months. Right now, I am in a hypomanic/manic state. Even with meds, I still have extremes occasionally, which means I need to talk to my pdoc, I did so twice last week.
Were you able to make contact with your pdoc today?
Bluemountains

i'm back from work now. I just called in. I didn't want to but I did. When the lady answered the phone and asked why I was calling, i said, "uh.. i don't know".... wth is wrong with me. anyways, pdoc will review and call me back with any changes he wants to make. Ugh... my wife is going to be pissed!

No, i don't have a t. my insurance doesn't kick in until october, so maybe then.

It was different before treatment. I was who i was and it wasn't a bad thing. I mean, i thought that was what life was, how life was. and now it's bad the way I am and now I can recognize the things happening and i don't want to live that way. not anymore.

I really don't know what my pdoc is going to do...

Feeling hopeless about recovery is not uncommon for me. When I'm in a depressed mood my prevailing thoughts are "what's the point?" and "why bother?" But just like placebos or sugar pills some belief or hope is needed for them "work". Believe that there is a cure out there and that you won't feel like this forever. There is some relief out there for you but it could take years. I consider it a good day if I just did ONE thing, even if that one thing was taking a shower or making a meal. It's the small steps that get you moving in the right direction. Sometimes you just want to take those big leaps but you don't have control over the speed of your recovery. Just know that you are getting closer everyday.

Hey Dan, glad you stuck around

I still cycle even though on meds. I'm on a hypo kick right now and mostly liking it. But the lithium keeps it from getting "really" bad. I don't think I will let pdoc up my lithium, unless I feel really nuts or something. I see her next week.

But I spent 1-2 years trying different meds and was feeling like you sound. She started me with Lamictal, made me feel icky and heavy. Then I quit all meds for awhile and still had episodes. Went back to her and tried abilify, that was not good for me, I got so depressed and intrusive sui thoughts, not so normal for me. So she said ok, let's quit that one right away.

Now I have found a pretty happy mix.

• Lithium (standard mood stabilizer)
• Welbutrin (75 mg - small dosage. a lot of bipolars here seem to take this one for depression)
• Clonopin (anti-anxiety 2 a day if needed .... Lorazepam did nothin for me)
• Adderall (for my add)
• Ambien (sleep aid for the hypo mania times, cuz I must sleep - I only take this one sometimes)

You're on zoloft for depression, I kind of think of zoloft as the downer or the anti-depressants... did not work for anyone in my family. But I think my point is that it doesn't seem to be doing it for you. Hang in there buddy, we care about you!!

I am glad you are sticking around............... you add a lot to the forums! Hang in there!

I take the zoloft and lorezapam for my gad. I guess an anti depressant would not be a bad idea.... tic tok tic tok goes the clock..... waiting for the call back

Yup. waiting for the call back! :-)

i hate waiting... i've called him about stuff before but this seems different. I'm on the edge of my seat. I don't know why, it's not like he has the 'magic cure' or anything

ok. i'm told now that i need to goto 7.5 abilify and up the zoloft to 75 mg...

im actually excited to go down in dose of the Abilify and to go up in the zoloft. Maybe this is enough to keep me from losing it on the boards? I hope so. I miss my morning quote too.

Cool, this could help you then

woot. I hope this helps you! And I'm glad you got an answer.

I hope so!

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