Bipolar? Really?

Yeah, it seems that this is the problem here. I personally loathe the medical model, as I find it horribly reductionist. I clashed with people over it too.

THing here is... anti-psychiatrists or people who don't accept the medical model... it's not like we "didn't understand the suffering of mentally ill". We just seek out solutions elsewhere. And it's pretty darn hard to defend it, so we because sometimes preemptive.

And as for personality... why it seems to be politically incorrect to imply ANYONE could have a character flaw? We all do. And we may as well be blaming some of it on our bipolar, when it's our quirk in fact. How we feel and what we go through emotionally is a character flaw. How we handle it, might be.

I agree that it is just a label. Human beings feel most comfortable categorizing things, and its unfortunate that we do it with personalities.
I used to take medication, but it made me feel like a zombie, so I opted instead to just figure out how to cope with my mind.
I feel like a lot of very brilliant, creative people end up being labelled as bipolar or otherwise insane. I would call myself artistic and intelligent. I have always emotionally and mentally been an outsider, so I have had a different perspective on society. Much of the time I think I feel the way that I do because I am so overwhelmed by the sadness that I feel for humanity, and because of this sense that I am not really meant to exist. Which yes, sounds crazy, but I have felt this way for my entire life, and I have never really been someone anyone would call crazy (at least for any extended period of time...I've had my moments).
I don't know. I guess reality just drives me crazy. I have found solace in meditation, yoga, things that help me clear my mind.

I will assume I'm the OP? I'm so new I can't really tell. Thing is.. I'll make it visual for you. You want pain? Overcoming struggles? I'll present to you a glimpse:



Thank you.

Oh and the PEE IS REAL, so is the VOMIT and the HAIR. All very real. Conceptual but can't be any clear, at least for any who knows BIPOLAR. Hope that is a good glimpse of struggle for you to know my "cheerful" side. ;-)

I will also go ahead and give you the "overcoming" part.. Since I'm sharing.



Wait was I supposed to not put a face to my person? Guess I'm bipolar afterall. I don't care.

English is my second language and I think you're right.

I really want to watch these, but have my son sharing room with me right now, so I can't play you tube.

This painting, I assume it's yours? I love it, I want to reach my arms into it and grab a handful and decorate my body and hair with these colors.

Yes :-) its one of my paintings. Love that you like it <3 thanks! The first video may be a little strong... Is a good idea not to watch it with the kid. Or maybe is hard to watch just for me dunno lol Hope it helps.. I guess I'm this "optimistic because I am a survivor"... :-)

I totally understand you!!!!!

I guess I been there as well. I found as well that in a moment in time I was very connected to what I called the Universal Energy/God. I was so in touch with the elements that I kept finding clues and messages. I always made fun of myself saying that I spoke with birds (I didn't have conversation with birds) because they sent messages. Like I know it sounds crazy but I became aware that my partners brother was going to die days before it happened and when he died at the exact moment he did, I felt it. This may sound crazier but I would open a book and suddenly found answers to my problems or questions. I loved it.. there were so many things I learned...

Exactly the same story over here: bipolar depression blunted my otherwise naturally confident personality and hid it in a blanket of darkness and despair, and treatment with a tiny dose of prozac (a much smaller dose than that taken by most other people) not only restored but even accentuated the natural confidence. So I feel like my old (or to be more precise, young) self again.

Creativelight - where are you? I miss you! Have you had the baby yet? I hope you are well.

Why are we so focused on everything being so black & white over here guys?! We're bipolar, we're superheroes. But in all seriousness... I live on both side of the tracks every day. My mind is numb from all of the thought. All of the speculation. Going from one extreme to the other, when they're both equally valid.

I have always been heavily spiritual, but I know that when I started to grow totally psychotic a year & a half ago that something was very wrong. The messages were skewed & didn't make sense anymore. I became paranoid & frightened of everything, out of the blue, during the happiest time in my life. I moved in with my boyfriend, away from everything that held me back, with new healthy habits. But everything stopped making sense. And everything became very, very scary & very, very wrong. Why would a spiritual being insist you don't eat, that you let your physical body wither & die so you can rejoin the astral plane? That's ****ing sadistic.

There's definitely an argument for society wanting to trap people into a specific build. But there ARE neurological conditions that persist. And there are very many things that can't just be "seen" that are also very real. Spiritual & biological. We can't afford to discount either or cease to hold any modicum of perspective. You can be creative & spiritual, but also damaged. If it is impairing your life, it is a disorder. It is a disease. It is something that needs intervention & not always by "hey, pop this pill".

You can't technically have a disorder or disease unless it causes significant impairment in one or more areas of your life. If it doesn't? THAT is a personality trait. That is a way of being. My antisocial tendencies don't bother me any & I have a very solid relationship with my boyfriend. Haven't been in any legal trouble for my shenanigans & I haven't caused any irreparable harm. I just care very little for anything that isn't immediate or about me -- & that serves me well. Keeps me logical & objective. But there are a great deal of people who destroy everyone around them, knowingly or unknowingly, with the same affliction. No two people are exactly the same... Whether they have a "disorder" or not. [Even though the latter doesn't at all exist these days.]

So while I understand the revulsion of the medical models & the standardization of how people should act? There's no reason to totally discount it. Just because there are some people here that seek treatment, it doesn't mean they are weak. Or lack the will to just "feel better". It's very real for everyone. I never thought I'd seek treatment, but there are some ways I can improve. Beyond my own scope of understanding. And I'm okay to admit that now, even though I'm very much usually in the "happy" state that you are! But the happy turns into angry & that's not a very good place to stay.

I like what everyone's had to say here. And thank the ****ing Gods I could actually pay attention to it all! But my point is, everyone is different. And not everything is black & white. So why do we still treat it that way? It's close-minded to accept one thing & not acknowledge the existence of the other.

I believe that the OP is confusing the diagnosis of a mental illness with the assignment of a stigma. A diagnosis is not the stigma; the stigma is the external opinions about the diagnosis.

To me, a 'disorder' is anything that causes distress, discomfort, pain, suffering, etc to an individual (I know that this is not an exact definition of the term). Whether you believe it's personality, biological, neurological, psychological, etc, people still suffer and struggle from mental disorders. That is why many of us are sensitive to being told that what we struggle with doesn't exist or that it's a simple change of mindset to overcome.

People can decide whether or not they will apply the stigma of their diagnosis to themselves. A diagnosis doesn't mean that someone's mind isn't beautiful or that they have to believe they are flawed. Personally, being diagnosed bipolar was a bit liberating to me -- I feel as though I know I have something I legitimately struggle with.

Very true, Odee! And also... This is probably just me. But I feel like it's an endowment. It has benefits & downfalls. Like any situation in life. It's a challenge. Something we were given to deal with & struggle with. That's not the case for everyone. So many people take their lives because they are dealt the same hand as me. It's a toss up! But I would rather be where I am now, continually confused & out of touch & occasionally insightful, than in a much worse place. Starving to death. Etc.

I don't discount creativelight & VenusHalley NOR anyone who prefers the more traditional view on Bipolar. Just to clarify.

It took me about 25 years to realize that people don't think of suicide all the time. Also, going up and down through rapid mood changes is certainly not a personality. Becoming extremely happy and then sliding fast into a downward spiral is not normal. When your boyfriend is afraid because he doesn't know how your behavior will be when he wakes up in the morning, is also not normal. I have been up and down since I was 12. I even tried to kill myself at 12. Since I've gotten into my 30's my moods are skyrocketing out of control. I could totally destroy my life with one intense, irresistible thought. Lamictal has saved my life. After trying other drugs, this one has worked tremendously.

I'm offended when people don't think it is a true illness. Why do we feel badly for those who have cancer and not those with mental illness?

I certainly do not choose to be bipolar nor is it my personality. Normally, I am an intelligent, hard working, and compassionate person. When the illness fires up, I lose my true personality.

People get so caught up in the technicalitites and wordings of things... the bp thing is still the same bp thing. Each person is going to experience it differently and a spectrum of severity and a spectrum of support available. It is still treated the same with meds or with meditation or with recreational drugs or with dropping out of society or with hospitalization or whatever, so many shades of grey.

I'd like to see people be more ok with allowing each of us to see it how we see it, without taking so much offense. But then I'm telling people how to be, which is not what I want to do! It turns into never ending maze of babble separating rather than bringing us together.

My 2 cents that's all.

Hello Creative Light,

In reading all of the posts, it only reinforces that we are all unique, in our thoughts, beliefs and emotional awareness. We will all interpret things differently. Your views are your views, others may share them or not.

I do think that you might have shared your experience and then phrased your question differently. There are several assumptions made with "Why do you?"

I do understand what you are saying about associating "one's whole being" to the bipolar disease. However, we all cope differently. Some people become their illness and lose sight of their true identity outside of the illness.

Yes, we each need to own or take responsibility for our choices. Does this still apply to a mentally ill patient who is psychotic? Does this person have control over his/her decisions? What if the person is at risk of harming self or others?

I am interested in your thoughts.

I believe it... because I have been soo extremely manic, that it completely disrupts my life and I'm not "me" anymore. When Lithium is the only way out of that state... It's not a personality flaw or a quirk. When the mania turns to delusions and psychosis its definitely an illness its not "who I am".

It's interesting to read about people's before and after. I can't really do that, I don't have much memory of my life before the symptoms of bipolar disorder started, my parents do, but Mom realized when I was about 5 I started changing. I remember having major anxiety in first grade. By the time I was in third grade I was dealing with racing thoughts, gradiose thinking, cravings, rages. I started in therapy because my parents divorced but an over riding theme of my childhood was "What's wrong with you??" going to doctors and specialists trying to figure out why. Why I refused to go to school, why I couldn't sleep, why I would fly into rages.

It wasn't until I was 15 or so and so depressed I barely moved, I stopped leaving the house, I got diagnosed with depression (which was wrong) and it wasn't until I was an adult I got the diagonsis of bipolar disorder.

When medication works for me I'm a different person - a happy, stable person.

There is a stigma to mental illness, I had someone say they'd rather have a family member deal with drug addiction than mental illness. But the stigma is changing and the more we talk about it the more it will help change that.

As for - has there always been bipolar disorder or mental illnesses - I know I can trace back behaviors on both sides of my family that coudl be contribute to mental illness to my great great grandparents (which is only the 1800s). But we don't have reliable family stories. And people were put in terrible institutions. Or they were the crazy aunt that lives in the attic. Or the ne'er do well uncle. Or the grandmother that was "eccentric."

I think it's always been there we're just better at seeing the behaviors and the behaviors don't have to be extreme.

My dad was diagnosed with depression after I was in thereapy for my depression. He had a successful job, he got through life, but he wasn't happy and he had a lot of issues. He could have probably gone without medication and made it through his life, but his life is better because of the medication.

Hi everyone!!! :-) its been a while! I had Hannah Sophia! Yay!! All is good!!
Blue poppy
Within one's psychosis one can still have some degree of control... Depends on many factors. Perception may deceive us and our judgment may not be as sound, however we still make choices. When I look back at the choices or situations I was in when psychotic, I feel ashamed. I was totally at risk of harming myself and others, especially with the choices I made. Today that would never happen, I have a sense of responsibility that I didn't have back then. Even as I was hearing voices I swear I was in control, I did what I wanted to do. (This is judging from my personal experience, I know someone with OCD might have more difficulties being in control)

As a positive example when I thought I was in purgatory, stuck between heaven and hell at the mental hospital it only took a visit from my parents for me to regain consciousness. Suddenly I was telling them (psychologist) I just had an existential crisis. Back then I didn't even know what that was, however I came up with that as an explanation of what I was going trough.

So in my opinion I can't judge other people psychotic moments. They may or not be in "control". Sometimes I believe control is more an illusion but either way, I think the real issue would be perception and not control.
Well must feed my baby, see ya later!

Congratulations!!!!! What a beautiful baby name!! She must be amazing.

And welcome back, it's nice to see you!

Congratz on baby Hannah Sophia and back to the boards!!!

Welcome back!!

Thanks! Glad to be back! :-D let's see how much time I can grab to indulge in here lol :-)