Get upset when people ignore me

I cannot get my husband to understand this...it's a major issue. He says one thing, yet acts another. And then I tell him how I feel, and he takes it as an attack and says I need to listen and just trust what he says and quit assuming things. He can't seem to understand that I'm just telling him how I feel, I'm not trying to say he is doing anything intentionally. He just always believes I'm attacking him. Saying, "The way you're acting makes me feel like you don't care." To him is me saying, "Well, you just don't care." He can't seem to understand the difference.

Oh my gosh, I absolutely hate it when people ignore me too. I'll think their busy at first but then I begin to think that they are mad at me then I freak out and start crying thinking that they hate me. Or I think they are screwing with my mind especially the people who know about my disorder.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who freaks out over this kind of situation.

I do it to with everything, texting, e maiils, fb u name it. Guess its just normal huh?

Yes, I automatically think I have done something wrong or made someone mad. I get extremely high anxiety on this and sometimes I have panic attacks when I think I've made someone mad. I work on this to reality check myself back to normal. But, it isn't easy to un-learn. It takes a lot of hard work to get rid of those unwantd thoughts and fears.

I remember when I was that kid.. meth every day, not to mention all of the other stuff I would do. I would not go near it with a 100 foot pole now... he'll get there too!

I think you need to realize that you are competing for someone 's attention . .

And in that competition you do not always win - at least not right away .

Communication can be so hard. I just did a therapy class on this sort of thing, and I probably won't be able to explain as well as my yogini therapist with her long red curly hair, as she almost hovered in lotus position, having the most perfect answer for everything.

Try to start with the I feel statement, and then the when, specific action or incident. So instead of saying, "The way you're acting makes me feel like you don't care." You could try, "I feel really uncared for when you watch tv a lot." (or whatever it is that bothers you) In your first statement, you are (unintentionally) putting him into a defensive by saying he does this, makes you feel this. Own your feelings, they're yours, they're valid. Feelings aren't wrong, we have to be responsible how we act/react to them. But any feeling is ok, and it's your responsibility to effectively communicate them to your partner. Easier said than done of course

So try it out, starting with "I feel". I think you guys can work this out, it's just a communication glitch.

yes this makes sense...

it's what I call..'emotional investment'

you perhaps?......have a social heart inside of you that beats more for others than for yourself.

yeah....a rejection thing for sure...and the world is packed to the sides with the rejected.

I do it too...it's vital to overcome for survival..it's more a borderline kinda' thing but it's pretty common for everybody to 'act out' but just not as much as us.

I don't have an identity structure....not an intact one anyway.

...alot of what I express....is an attempt to develop an identity....and I am careful where I let this personal energy go.

it may not return see!

it's like saying..."here is a piece of me...I thought long and hard about it...I am letting it go setting it free...."

if it don't come back to me....then "yes"....it is upsetting....it's gone ....

it might take me days weeks months to get that confidence back.