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#1
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Hey all, so I just wanted to ask you about how your bipolar progressed when you first started experiencing symptoms.
I didn't start to develop symptoms until this year, I am 21 years old, so I'm within the window that bipolar typically starts to develop. I originally got diagnosed as cyclothymic due to the erratic nature of my cycles (my hypomania or depression didn't last long enough to qualify as an episode). However, that has changed as of late. I recently went through about a two and a half week long depressive episode with suicidal thoughts being a frequent symptom. I pulled out of it this past weekend and have been in a hypomanic state for the past three days, which is fairly long for me. In fact I feel more hypo today than I have in a long time. If this lasts another day it will technically meet the minimum duration to be called a hypomanic episode. My therapist said that individuals with cyclothymia often experience evolution of their mood disorder, and that sometimes symptoms can leave over time, or it can progress into bipolar II. I'm wondering if this is happening. Anyway, did your bipolar progress over time? I'm curious. |
#2
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Hey Rennerenner,
I actually was diagnosised with just depression to begin with. I was put on Anti-Depressant's and they sent me manic. I managed to slow it all down and trick everyone and myself that I was fine. Then I had 3 manic episodes and 2 depressive episodes which were huge. I was then diagnosised with bipolar. Mania seem's to be my biggie at the moment. Haven't had a real depression for about 1 and a half years. But I have loads of mini manic episodes regularly |
#3
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If I really be honest and look back, I think bipolar in one form of another started for me when I was really young, like 7 or 8 or 9 years old. I think it went badly, in waves. I don't think I was ever symptom free. Either manic or depressed, for long periods of time for both (I mean years of depression followed by months of mania,) just from behavior patterns.
I have photographs and home vidoeos that clearly show the anhedonia in me. I mean I was the zombie in the room. Home videos are eerie though, because if I knew the camera was on me I was "play acting" the happy kid. If I didn't know, I was the zombie. I think as I got older I started cycling faster and faster. Until I hit now where I cycle either very rapidly or am mixed.
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#4
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Over time,
-- a sharp decline in personal hygiene -- more dysphoric mania until good meds were found so I am stable now -- less euphoric mania and hypomania -- more spending until put on Lithium -- longer depressions until put on Prozac |
#5
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I had wicked anxiety as a young teenager and was diagnosed manic depressive at 16 after a drug-induced psychosis.
Was in and out of the hospital until about 19... I was much better- held a job, had a social life and met my husband. I went off the meds at about 22 and was fine. Had 3 babies with no post-partum depression, lived my life and other than some mild anxiety was ok. Flash forward to 2005- Father past away was put on Zoloft which wasn't working, Dr. upped the dose a couple times, went through some major life stress such as selling my house and building a new one and other stuff some was good stress (long story) which can also be a trigger, stopped sleeping...major manic episode - hypo for a month -manic for a month- Lithium was my savior and then the depression hit.... Even tho I constantly complain about taking my medications I think they are what have helped me the most. |
#6
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I cannot really ever remember being "right". I am told I started going through periods of weeks at a time of hyperactivity and insomnia from early school age years. I remember being very up and obsessive or very down from an early age...maybe 9 or 10.
By the time I was in jr high I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. By high school I was on meds. I played med roulette until 18 where I basically just gave up. Then I had PPD after my son and the med go round of meds for depression and anxiety started all over again. I pretty much played that game (except when preg w/ my daughter) until I was in my early 30's. Finally, I had a doc who figured out I was cycling like mad and she dx'd me as BP II rapid cycling at 32. We have played more med roulette and therapy since then. Every time I find a combo that works, I either have it "poop out" or I have to let go of things due to side effects. Case in point... Seroquel and Cymbalta- had to give up both recently due to side effects, when mentally I had been doing so much better... merde. Anyhoo- that is the story of my progression. |
#7
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Was filled with anxiety since childhood. Struggled with depression since about the age of 18. In my 20's, the depressions came more frequently and towards my 30's they were lasting months. I was able to manage on paxil for years, at a low dose. They were moderate intensity. By my mid 30's, I had a major depression and then real hypomania with antidepressants. That being said, I had major life stressors at the time of my meltdown - major!
I sometimes wonder if I had never been on an antidepressant, if this would have happened. Like the drug did something to my brain chemicals after long term use and that this led to bipolar. Just a wonderment that I can do nothing about and will likely never know the answer. Sometimes |
#8
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Oh, and anxiety - anxiety is a new phenomenon, developed after I turned 40. Weird.
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#9
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I was only given this dx exactly one month from yesterday. Looking back now and having somewhat of an explanation, I wonder how my behaviors were not the topic of conversation long before. I had one previous experience with a GP doc telling me i was depressed and putting me on paxil when I was having anxiety and couldn't sleep she referred me to a pdoc (about 4 yrs ago) This pdoc switched me to pristiq and Ambein. Once I started sleeping I felt better so I weaned myself from the pristiq and never gave it a second thought until recently when I couldn't figure out why I coudln't control my anger as it turned to rage and I started being verbally abusive and just mean. Then I realized how irritated I was and that my mind was always racing and that I couldn't sleep without xanax or a bong hit. So now pdoc says i have bp and gave me meds. I have noticed a shift in my behavior now but still wrapping my brain around all of this. it is new to me but looking back helps me make sense of the way I have always been...
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BP 2, GAD Meds: 300 mg Lamotrigine 600 mg Lithium 5 mg Aripiprazole (currently tapering off) Clonazepam as needed Supplements: Vitamin D, Inositol, Melatonin, L-Theanine, CBD oil be gentle with yourself. you are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. -max ehrmann |
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