[Carmen0618]

I am a little confused...my hisband was very recently diagnosed as bipolar 1. I have seen that there can be symptom free periods between episodes. Does this mean that one day....he can just go back to being relatively normal?...how long can this last?
I would also really appreciate any suggestions on things that I can do to make his treatment process better for the both of us. This has been incredibly hard on us...and I am hard up for any support.

[darkeyes]

Hi there, welcome to PC.
Is your husband taking a mood stabilizer medication?
That is the first thing important in keeping episodic behaviour under control, thus leading what most of us would consider a "normal" life.
Proper meds.,commitment to treatment plan and pdoc visits,learning more about the disorder,patience, and understanding, all lead to success.
Takes time but is all worth every second.
Bipolar disorder, as well as many other disorders are not "death sentences", there are more medications today than yrs ago. and a lot more research has been devoted to this area of the sciences, and still being done.
So there is better choices than years ago.
A person can also have more than one disorder at the same time, and now in today's times they can be treated at the same time. Sooooooooooooo, my advice is to keep faith, never give up,even when some dark days can creep up on you,keep in mind they shall pass, just stick with your meds and keep in contact with pdoc and/or T.
Take care now,
DE

[DaveyJones]

Especially with treatment, your husband could possibly go years between episodes. Be aware that most victims of bipolar disorder spend more time depressed than manic.

This disease is highly variable, there really is no "typical" course that it follows. That's what makes it such a problem to treat in so many cases. Here's hoping that you and you husband have a easy time of it!

DJ

[MartheH]

Carmen. Bipolar dosen't get cured or go away all together but it is very treatable. Sometimes it can take awhile to get the proper medication sorted out. The right mdication is different for everyone and there is no test to determine just what medication or what amount will work. Its an exercise in patience at first. Even then medication needs can change over time and adjustments will sometimes be necessary. One of the most important things you can do is encourage your spouse to take and stay on his medications even when he is feeling fine. There are many good books out there that can explain what bi polar is and how you can help your bipolar hubby. Check your local library. Untreated bi polar can be very confusing and hurtful to those around the bipolar person and the more you understand the less liekly you are to feel victimized by this disease. I am bipolar and I went untreated for many years resulting in some pretty heavy damage to my relationships including with my hubby. With treatment I am very much a different person to deal with and my husband has come to understand that my disease is NOT a refection on him, nor is it in any way his fault. Our relationship is much better now and the past hurts have healed as we both begin to see that disease behaviour is not really who I am. Still people who recieve counselling along with meds have a lot better chance of leading a happy life than those who take meds alone. Couselling is usually resisted by men so you can help by helping him see that counseling dosen't mean he is weak or incompetent. It is just another way to treat a tricky disease. Good luck to you both, be patient and kind and above all take care of your own needs as well through a support group or couselor of your own. Take care MartheH

[Azalysa]

Another welcome to PC!

I agree with everything all the above posters said!

I was diagnosed around 15-18 years ago (I'm starting to lose track...lol) and in that time have only had 3 major episodes. Mine present as depressions that last several months.

Except when I need more meds to stop the major depressions - my standard meds are an AD and mood stabilizer. No one in 3D would ever know I live with this illness, and the ones I tell who I feel safe doing so with, are always amazed!

Life can be good again!

Warmly

[niko851]

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Carmen dear -

Unfortuantely, just as another said, BP is NOT curable - only treatable. There are MANY success stories of people responding well to medications and having VERY few symptoms. Just as Asalya said (sorry about the spelling - can't see your name anymore), she's lost track of the years and only had 3 episodes; I, on the other hand, have had many in the last few months. I'm doing what is called rapid-cycling, which is going from 'highs' to 'lows' very quickly. Each person is different, each suffers differently, and each acts/reacts differenty.

My suggestion(s) to you: Just be there for your husband. Trust me when I say that having the FULL support of just ONE person truly does make the world of difference. He will have you to fully trust and he will know you are there for him. It sounds like you are a great spouse as-is; and for that, I commend you.

Furtermore, don't 'bombard' or 'hound' him for lack of better words. Just be yourselves as you always have and simply 'look-out' for the signs/symptoms. There's some GREAT references on this site that you may want to visit.

Again, I truly commend you for stating "what can I do to help" your husband's treatment and overall 'living'. You've come to the right place for advice, just as the others have said as well. This can be a hard battle at times, but with the right support systems in place, you two will be just fine. I'd give anything to have a S.O. who was there for me 125% no matter what!!!!

I apologize for being repetative, but I just wanted to reiterate that there are MANY support groups, such as this one, out there for familes/friends of people w/mental disorders and you're already on the right train - you're willing, wanting, and able to be there. Just ensure you don't let him think you've 'had it'. Let him know that regardless, you're still his wife and you love him with no strings attached. Again, I am VERY happy to hear that you're so helpful for him already. Nice job hun - and come back here as much as you want.....

Take it easy ~ Niko </font>

[Azalysa]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
niko851 said:
<font color="#00088">
My suggestion(s) to you: Just be there for your husband. Trust me when I say that having the FULL support of just ONE person truly does make the world of difference. He will have you to fully trust and he will know you are there for him. It sounds like you are a great spouse as-is; and for that, I commend you.</font>

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Me again

Niko is sooooo right!!! BP is so very hard on ~both~ the one with the disorder and their loved one/s; SO, etc.

In my case, being single, my main support is my mother and without her during these years, I don't know what I would have done.

Our behavior to people who are unfamiliar with BP may seem totally unfathomable and, as Niko said, there's no "one size fits all" in how exactly that behavior comes out.

For me (and perhaps you've seen one or more of these in your husband) - I totally isolate in the house, unplug the phone ~and~ the answering machine; I cry over nothing and sometimes rock back and forth in despair; then there are periods where I sleep almost days on end as escape, abuse meds (ie sleeping pills) to keep myself "knocked out" ; I despair of EVER being well again (and here is where the support is a biggie - my mother and pdoc keep reminding me "You've gone through this before and you always get well.")

I lose my appetite and lose weight (some people gain weight - again - very individual); I obsess over tragic "what ifs" that could happen (basically have to quit watching the news)....well, I'm sure you get the idea. Each of us could give their own list of symptoms.

When I first became ill, my then-husband and mother had no idea what was going on (neither did I). My husband never did really educate himself but my mother really read and talked to other people (being amazed at finding the very people she was talking to ~also~ lived with some type of mental disorder).

I applaud you as well for coming here to look for answers/help.

I'm always willing to accept private messages.

[niko851]

<font color="#00088">
Hi again Azalysa (now that I've spelled it right - )</font>

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I totally isolate in the house, unplug the phone ~and~ the answering machine; I cry over nothing and sometimes rock back and forth in despair; then there are periods where I sleep almost days on end as escape, abuse meds (ie sleeping pills) to keep myself "knocked out"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
<font color="#00088">
Interesting how this part came out... Are you reading my mind now?? I, too, rely heavily on Xanax to keep me from running rampid. Without them, I literally go spastic. I cannot calm down, I cannot sleep, I cannot stay in one spot - and it is just an overall horrible horrbile time-frame.

What disturbs me the most is how my P-doc always says "I'm abusing them" whenever I'm allocated max 5/day and she'll write them out and write them out. I can't see how a person can allege abuse when they are A) Using them as they are prescribed and B) THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE MADE FOR!!! It is just so irritating (and disturbing) that a doctor is willig to write RX's out, but then you get the third degree for using them..... Now if Xanax wasn't on the Controlled list, I guarantee that I would have any slack!!! As if we need more added to our plate with the doc's doing what they do....

Nevertheless, whenever you get the urge to hide, come PM/find me and we'll try to 'un-hide' together Hope you are doing well dear... Take it easy..
~Niko </font>

[Azalysa]

Hi, Niko!!!

You know, after reading your post, I realized I am using the term "abusing the meds" BECAUSE that's what the "gestapo" - otherwise known as my pdoc's assistant -tells me if I need to get a new script one day earlier than how it was written.

So, I'm not truly abusing them. Thank you for reminding me that we DO have rights and don't need to be talked down to like that!!

Hmmm, am I reading your mind? Maybe! Bwhahahahahaha

You're a sweetie, Niko...glad to meet you. You have an open invitation to pm me as well!

Keep on keepin' on, my friend...and I'll do the same!!