...or maybe I'm just upset?

I don't know?

I'm worried

[Anika.]

Worried for you too, if you are worried for you.

I dunno either. I am sorry James, I am sorry somethin' has got you so upset, or flipped, or angry.

[sugahorse1]

Are you ok? Do you believe this will pass soon.

Originally Posted by sugahorse

Are you ok? Do you believe this will pass soon.

not sure

Don't know what else to say but feel better soon, honey. Share with us. We are here.

[OutlawedSpirit]

I would give you a hug, too, if I could. You can pm me if you want to talk. I'm on short term disability now, so I really have all the time in the world if you need it. There is no point in forums like this if we can't help each other, right?

I cannot stop crying....!

at least until I want to breath..!

never knew I could be so messed up I'm no monkey I'm just a boy sad a man so tired of this all this...

and my energy won't let me go I just want to lie down and cry to sleep

but I won't let myself....F.ck!.....!!

I just want to rest it's been too long I'm so sorry

please let me go from this!...

I just want to rest my mind is killing me

my mind is killing me I hate it what it does to me I

am so

sorry

[Clinte89]

Sorry James it sounds like well more than sounds like you are going through a bit of a rough patch. You can pull through this buddy just keep trudging through the muck dot let t kill you tell your mind who is boss. Be strong my friend we are here for you.

[Anika.]

What will happen if you lay down and rest your head, if you just allow your self to ?

Don't be sorry, don't judge it, try not analyze it, just let it pass through you. Notice it's there and that is all. No judgement on it, nor on yourself... it might help James. Sometimes that's how to be "not ok", when it doesn't feel ok not being ok.

Originally Posted by Anika.

What will happen if you lay down and rest your head, if you just allow your self to ?

Don't be sorry, don't judge it, try not analyze it, just let it pass through you. Notice it's there and that is all. No judgement on it, nor on yourself... it might help James. Sometimes that's how to be "not ok", when it doesn't feel ok not being ok.

ok..will try Anika

just shut my eyes

ok.........

I will try again..

[Anika.]

Yes, Just close your eyes James, and let it pass, and breathe, know you will be ok again. You will rest, it will stop.

I cannot see I am so upset I don't know what has happened my mind has just blitzed!

hours have passed and days or two or three I don't know?

something has upset me I don't want to get in my own way and I cannot I'm too sad.

I don't know what feelings are anymore I forgot to be mad

I am just sad

is this mania?...

it's so uncomfortable though powerful sad either way I cannot be bothered I'm so tired of it

and it will keep going it's gonna try and kill me I won't let it.

I am so exhausted but my emotions are running way too hot for me...

please I want to just be cool..

where does this mania come from

dumb look and mouth open...twisted fingers I don't know?

what the F'?

[Anika.]

Is it mania? I don't know, ever get mixed mania James? Manic energy, head so fast thoughts just become fragments, physical and mental agitation so bad your not sure which way to move, but you have to or you feel like you will explode, but you feel depressed and not euphoric. That's what I feel when I am mixed.. kinda like what you are describing, feel pretty done, but nothing will let me finish.... frantic chaotic energy and thoughts, well maybe pieces of words.

[OutlawedSpirit]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

I cannot see I am so upset I don't know what has happened my mind has just blitzed!

hours have passed and days or two or three I don't know?

something has upset me I don't want to get in my own way and I cannot I'm too sad.

I don't know what feelings are anymore I forgot to be mad

I am just sad

is this mania?...

it's so uncomfortable though powerful sad either way I cannot be bothered I'm so tired of it

and it will keep going it's gonna try and kill me I won't let it.

I am so exhausted but my emotions are running way too hot for me...

please I want to just be cool..

where does this mania come from

dumb look and mouth open...twisted fingers I don't know?

what the F'?

Sometimes when my mania gets bad, I understand where you are coming from.
Thoughts get racing so fast, I feel like I'm losing touch.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Sometimes it seems like my life is coming apart at the seams.
It is so hard to try to keep it all together.
So temping to just let it go.
So temping to just let it take over.
I want to hand it the reins and see where it takes me.
But I'm so afraid of where it will go.
I'm not really sure I want to go there.
If I just hand over the controls.
Will I ever get them back?
Or will I forever be lost?

Originally Posted by Anika.

Is it mania? I don't know, ever get mixed mania James? Manic energy, head so fast thoughts just become fragments, physical and mental agitation so bad your not sure which way to move, but you have to or you feel like you will explode, but you feel depressed and not euphoric. That's what I feel when I am mixed.. kinda like what you are describing, feel pretty done, but nothing will let me finish.... frantic chaotic energy and thoughts, well maybe pieces of words.

Anika you are beautiful honey!

Originally Posted by OutlawedSpirit

Sometimes when my mania gets bad, I understand where you are coming from.
Thoughts get racing so fast, I feel like I'm losing touch.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Sometimes it seems like my life is coming apart at the seams.
It is so hard to try to keep it all together.
So temping to just let it go.
So temping to just let it take over.
I want to hand it the reins and see where it takes me.
But I'm so afraid of where it will go.
I'm not really sure I want to go there.
If I just hand over the controls.
Will I ever get them back?
Or will I forever be lost?

I'm not really equipped for this one.....except ...thankyou...

I mean it.....I do

dm

[pegasus]

The flipped flipper flipped out and along came a flipping flapping winged horse to flip and flap with you!

[Anika.]

I gotta lay my own head down, kids just left for school.. see if I can catch a couple hours sleep.

James hope you can rest, I hope this stuff will relent. Soon.. not tomorrow, I don't believe that when it comes to this.