[sadmum03]

Hi.I've recently been diagnosed as Bipolar II, after years of being treated for depression. My doctor has put me on SeroquelXR 150mg daily. However I just feel sad ALL the time. My husband told me he'd rather me off the meds as he misses the real ME? He says hed rather go through the "crazy,angry" stuff if it meant that i was myself again.
I'm so scared that I'll never enjoy life the way I used to. I dont want to simply exist. I want to have fun and feel happy again. I have 3 beautiful kids that I want to be happy and i hate that they are seeing me like this....

[LiveThroughThis]

Originally Posted by sadmum03

Hi.I've recently been diagnosed as Bipolar II, after years of being treated for depression. My doctor has put me on SeroquelXR 150mg daily. However I just feel sad ALL the time. My husband told me he'd rather me off the meds as he misses the real ME? He says hed rather go through the "crazy,angry" stuff if it meant that i was myself again.
I'm so scared that I'll never enjoy life the way I used to. I dont want to simply exist. I want to have fun and feel happy again. I have 3 beautiful kids that I want to be happy and i hate that they are seeing me like this....

Much of my story is similar. I was diagnosed with Depression in my teens and treated as. In my mid-20s diagnosed Bipolar II, which certainly is more accurate. I struggle with the med/feeling better as well. My bf has a lot of depression issues, but refuses meds because, "I won't be the one who's making me feel better, it would be pills." Etc. etc. I have spent the past three years trying to make peace with the fact as of now, I have to be on medications, period. And they have made a difference in my life. I have been on countless that didn't, or made things worse. It's a very tricky balance. Do you attend therapy? Maybe your husband would be willing to go with you and try to understand, with a professional, your side of it? I've had many naysayers in my world, and I have to keep reminding myself they are not the professionals---while they love me and mean well, they do not have thorough medical knowledge, etc. or therapeutic knowledge. I hope your husband comes around, that must be such an added burden for you.

Currently I am not happy myself; I've had a lot of ups and downs recently and they're just harder when you're Bipolar, period.

If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a Private Message.

[Trippin2.0]

Your husband doesnt mean to be insensitive.I prefer my bipolar self to the chemically castrated 1,it was uncomfortable (understatement) & I'm the 'better the devil you know' type anyway.So I can imagine what its like for someone so close, to not recognize us,& miss us.Some people just love us warts and all meds take time to hit a sweet spot,& even then you have to adjust,I couldnt.If meds give you a better quality of life, then keep at it YES,you WILL be happy again you're dxd bipolar

[venusss]

Yeah, I don't think he's insensitive either. Ever heard of the boiling frog theory? They say that if you warm the water slowly, the frog won't noticed it's being cooked.
So that's where other's observation is useful.

so if you are not happy and others tell you are not yourself.... well your meds are not working.

I have found that what makes me stable is only fifty percent meds and the other half is a disciplined thought process and awareness of my feelings.

[BipolaRNurse]

What Dan said. ^^^

Yes, you will be happy again. I wouldn't have believed it either after I was diagnosed bipolar this past winter in the middle of a big, fat, ugly mixed episode, but it happened. I'm still not where I want to be, but I've come a long, long way in these past 8 months and have learned a great deal about myself in view of the illness and how it made me do so much of the crazy stuff I've done in my life. You will learn too.....and then you can rebuild your life, one day at a time.

[hamster-bamster]

There are many meds besides Seroquel. Seroquel did not work for me either, i.e. it didn't prevent angry mania even in doses much much higher than yours. Tell the doctor that you are sad all the time and your husband does not recognize the old you in this sad woman. I believe Seroquel cannot be stopped cold turkey, but since you are on a small dose, tapering off should not take a long time.

Even though the dose is small, had this medication been effective against depression in you, the effect would have kicked in by now. I do not see a point in increasing the dose.

Don't make a judgment on the meds' effectiveness based on Seroquel alone; treat it as an outlier.

My guess is you need a combo of a low dose anti-depressant with a mood stabilizer or a neuroleptic (what is called anti-psychotic in the US). I do not think you would go far with a neuroleptic alone, given the pervasive sadness. Seroquel is a neuroleptic. Anti-depressants alone wouldn't work either as you already know.

[sadmum03]

When I asked my doc "Will I be happy again soon" ?? He told me there are "No Happy Pills"
So I'm just really scared that I'm not going to enjoy life as I once did...

[hamster-bamster]

I find that a tiny dose of Prozac makes me pretty content. Unfortunately, it does not mean it would make you content...

[Anika.]

No there is no happy pills, he is right. But we can find happiness outside of all that. It's very possible. Getting off a med that makes you feel sort of tranquilized, like you said not bouncy/zestful would be a good place to start. Antipsychotics / nueroleptics (seroquel) whatever you want to call them, are also known as major tranquilizers, which is no wonder why many of us feel like a bit of a zombie on them, no zest.

You also had a baby, so could be some post partum depression going on too? Also you said you a newly dx as Bipolar, sometimes it takes a while to come to terms, accept the dx, and figure out what you are going to do with it all. And by that I mean we all have different ways of taking the dx on, different perspectives on it and how we will live with it. Perspective can make a big difference in the out come. Finding what works for us best personally takes a while.

Have you been looking into other treatment other than meds. While they can be some help there are often other issues going on that we can work on. Pdocs do not deal with this tho, so we have to do some of the investigating ourselves.

For me, I had a lot of past problems that I needed to heal from, I had cognitive distortions in thought ( negative thinking, black and white thinking, stuff like that ), low self esteem and confidence, just some of what I needed to work on. The meds tho could not help with that stuff, and all that stuff makes a big impact in our mood.

I don't know if you have worked through this kinda of stuff with a T or on your own, just putting it out there.

[hamster-bamster]

Suspecting that PPD may be implicated is a great idea. There is a forum here on PPD - maybe post your symptoms there and see what you get in response. Maybe you will find kindred spirit.

[hamster-bamster]

So I have read your other thread. So you are breastfeeding. That makes your range of pharmacological options extremely limited. I think you need to take a serious look at the available range of non-pharmacological options, such as yoga, exercise, walking in the park. And do not take Seroquel if it does not help - traces of it are probably still found in your milk although I do not know for sure. Psychiatry is about risk-benefit analysis, and since you receive no benefit whatsoever, not even a small amount of risk to your baby is justified. Call the doctor and ask for instructions on how to titrate down. At best he will oblige; at worst he will tell you to wait until the next appointment.

[Confusedinomicon]

Walking 45 minutes helps anxiety. I read this from hamster and I believe it! It helps me a lot!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Walking 45 minutes helps anxiety. I read this from hamster and I believe it! It helps me a lot!

I am SO glad!

[Deborah Brautman]

I think that you are already in the process of moving towards happiness again.
One thing that might help you is to understand that often times the first prescription of medication to treat bipolar doesn't get it 100% right. In other words, working with your psychiatrist on an ongoing basis will help him or her to determine what is the best course of medication treatment. This doesn't mean that you're not on the right medications, but if you're not feeling as well as you deserve to feel, this would be a good conversation for you to have with your doctor. Remember, it often takes almost 10 years to get the right diagnosis, and now you are able to get treatment.
I think it would also be helpful for your husband to go with you to a consultation with your psychiatrist. There are some wonderful books and blogs that will help you and your family to better understand and treat your symptoms.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by sadmum03

When I asked my doc "Will I be happy again soon" ?? He told me there are "No Happy Pills"
So I'm just really scared that I'm not going to enjoy life as I once did...

he is right.

But that doesn't mean you will not be happy again. Happiness doesn't come in pills, and thanks god for that.

There are other means of finding happiness though... but that's in field of philosophy.

As for mood leveling, I stronly recommend Bach essencies (homeopathic-lite thing. All I know it works on me and it worked on several cats of mine. Made a stray cat sleep calmly through new year's fireworks. Calmed down my neurotic pregant cat... and yes, works on peeps too).

[hamster-bamster]

I've run a quick search on seroquel and bf. The drug passes into breastmilk in some animals. It is unknown whether it does in humans. Information on the web is conflicting. http://www.drugsdb.com/rx/seroquel/s...breastfeeding/ says that at 400mg there are no adverse effects in the baby, and you are taking far less. At the same time they advise against it. I dunno. Research the subject more. How little is the baby?

[moremi]

Originally Posted by sadmum03

Hi.I've recently been diagnosed as Bipolar II, after years of being treated for depression. My doctor has put me on SeroquelXR 150mg daily. However I just feel sad ALL the time. My husband told me he'd rather me off the meds as he misses the real ME? He says hed rather go through the "crazy,angry" stuff if it meant that i was myself again.
I'm so scared that I'll never enjoy life the way I used to. I dont want to simply exist. I want to have fun and feel happy again. I have 3 beautiful kids that I want to be happy and i hate that they are seeing me like this....

I feel your pain, I have been in the very spot you are in so please dont feel alone. Hearing you say how you have your beautiful children and you dont want them to see you this way just really hit home to me because I really feel that at times with my own battles I have here. My husband even told me the same thing yours did about wanting you back the way you were before the medication. I was even on seroquel and had to go off of it because it just wasnt the right medication for me. How long have you been on it? It does take time for medications to adjust. If after a reasonable amount of time if you feel that nothing is changing then you need a med change because the meds would not be the proper meds for you. It can take a few trys to find the proper meds, but once you do, you will find that you come back around again. You will be yourself again and you will enjoy life again. Unfortunately in my case I still have ups and downs but as I see it thats how its going to be. They are most definately not as frequent or as drastic as they were when i was unmedicated though. Its better than me being completely off the hook off of my meds. Going out spending 10-15 grand in two weeks or out having an affair because I am manic. I will stay on my meds and change meds when I need to.