How do I explain this? (Possible trigger)

My husband is on a business trip and will be back tomorrow. I've been flying solo since Sunday. He's called as often as he can to check up on things, has texted a lot, etc. I haven't had much sleep the past few nights due to one kid being scared of storms, a teething one year old and never sleeping well when he's gone. This afternoon, along with exhaustion, I was dealing with two fighting kids, a screaming baby and a needy dog at one time. I put the baby in his Exersaucer, went into the bedroom and got hit by a sudden wave of intense anger. My response to that is to always go off somewhere and self injure. Yesterday I dug my nails into my arm. Today I punched my arm several times, dug my nails in and punched my leg. Now my arm is swollen, hurts and is obviously going to be bruised.

Would it be wrong to tell my husband that I ran into the doorframe or something like that? My running assortment of bruises due to lack of grace is an ongoing joke so he would most likely believe me. I don't want him to know things got that hard for me. The kids are none the wiser--they take me walking away to mean mom is about to lose her temper so we need to shut up and quit. In my mind I figure as long as the kids didn't get screamed at or anything it's no big deal. I know he won't see it that way. Advice?

I could try to tell you that you should be honest with your husband.. but really, I do the same thing with my wife. I will never tell her when things are so hard for me cuz her response makes it ten times worse and it takes away my coping mechanisms. So I would be the first to understand making up a story or lying to cover it up since I do the same thing.

I think the more important issue is that you have a plan and try to learn and act on some better coping techniques... like have a plan so that next time you feel like SI, there is another option.

What's wrong with parenting being hard and overwhelming? It is extremely hard and overwhelming. Can you just tell him you had a hard day, your sorry (if you are) you just don't want to talk about it?

"Don't want to talk about it" always starts an argument that results in us not taking rest of the night. In his opinion if it involves the bipolar it must be discussed to an exhausting point. I would rather spend four days in the hospital than have one of those discussions with him. If he questions me maybe I'll just say I need to see my psych and that I'm making an appointment. Days like this I'm quite convinced bipolar is proof there is a hell.

I would probably tell my husband the same thing. Is not being completely honest wrong? I don't know, but there are many things that I do not share with my husband concerning my mental health. I don't want him to worry all of the time.

You could also just use base, cover up and powder to make them disappear. Just reapply every time you use the bathroom.

Hey Becca

Sorry your having such a rough time. I honestly couldn't handle 3 kids and a dog all needing me "right now".. No how No way.

Of course self harm is never a good way to deal with emotional overload, that said, as someone that self harms I can relate and understand what why how and when it somehow makes us feel " better". I do not discuss my self harm with my husband he can not and will not handle it well at all . Thats why I have My T . I don't think you HAVE to tell your spouse everything.. Especially if knowing ahead of time the discussion will be exhausting.

Your in my thoughts hun

PM me anytime !!