[iluvdukie1]

I can't take much more. Today, my moods were the worst they have ever been, I don't know what happened. This morning, I personally thought today was going to be one of my positive days. When I woke up, my moods were pretty much normal, not high or low. But when I got to school, they went up a lot more, they were up for about an hour and a half. After I went to my third class and sat down, they pretty much immediately dropped, I was pretty low. I could barely concentrate at this point, and I remained this way for at least 2 hours. In my one class, I was super aggravated, I almost started to pick on the teacher. It wasn't even funny how mad I was. When I got to my next class, I was the same way. I tried to talk to my friend normally, but I could barely say anything at all, I had nothing to say. But, shortly after that class started, my mood went way up. It felt really good at that time, but I did feel a little troubled about how my moods were changing again. This really good mood lasted for about two and a half hours, maybe even more. I was super hyper, I really wanted to talk. During my next class after lunch, I was pretty positive, but after I sat down, I started to get aggravated again. This stay, shifting back into a depressed mood, which remained for the rest of the day, still present. When I got home, I tried to do my homework, but I was so depressed and aggravated, it was the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. I could NOT concentrate at all, no matter how hard I tried, I kept getting more and more frustrated. I kept wanting to just stop doing my homework and go to bed, and I almost did. But I decided to take a break and do another part of my homework. In the process of getting the items necessary to do this, I almost got aggressive. I couldn't find the one thing, so I almost picked up a big basket containing over 200 pictures, I was about to throw it acrossed the room, but I realized what I was doing before it happened. This really troubled me, I have never gotten that close to doing something like that. Then, I went up and started working. My mood was almost normal again, but then it quickly returned to the way it was before. I did not end up finishing my homework, I was unable to study for my test, and I kept saying rude thugs to my family since I was in such a bad mood. I think the people around me are starting to notice. This had to be the HARDEST day to get through so far, I don't know how much more I can take.

[hamster-bamster]

If you were an adult, I would say that you have ultra rapid cycling. But I do not know a thing about adolescents.

[iluvdukie1]

My moods are like this all of the time, they never stay the same for very long. It didn't bother me that much before, but it has been a lot more troubling over the past week or two. Especially today, I personally didn't know they could get this bad. I just REALLY hope they aren't like this again tomorrow.

[hamster-bamster]

perhaps forget moodtracking for two weeks and sit down to work your OP into a letter to mom and dad. now.

[iluvdukie1]

Yeah... That really does sound like a good idea. I think I am going to start that now. I really can't take it much longer. I have been noticing mood swings for about the last month, maybe more. Do you think that is valid for concern?

[hamster-bamster]

Yes, you should get busy with the draft.

[hamster-bamster]

PS Feel free to post the draft for editing help.

[iluvdukie1]

Thanks, I really appreciate the support and advice. I will definitely get started on it right now. Since I live in the same house as her, do you think I should write it out and stick it in her room before I leave for school? That way she has time to think about it all before I get home. Or do you think that wouldn't be any good?

[hamster-bamster]

It is a good idea.

[iluvdukie1]

Okay, I will do that. Thanks!

I got some really good advice a while ago that I will share with you concerning mood tracking w/ rapid cycling. Since your moods shift continually throughout the day, it would be hard to record where you were with only a single line or two on a mood chart. So the advice is to get a daily planner, then you can record where you are hour by hour and when you do finally get a therapist or doc, it will assist them greatly.

By the way, your finally doing it?! I'm so proud, it's the hardest part, first asking for help. I know that we have been emailing and that I have been trying to get you to talk to them, but your finally doing it! That is awesome!

plz keep us posted!

[iluvdukie1]

Don't worry, I will make sure I keep you updated. And that is such a good idea, thank you so much!

[sugahorse1]

What is the OP letter?
I wait until the following day to plot my moods, and then plot the most prolific mood I had the previous day.
I also rapid cycle, but I'm beginning to see that there are main cycles, tha last about 2 weeks either way.

[iluvdukie1]

Mine seems to be the same way you described, but instead of having two week main cycles, I seem to have one week ones.

OH dukie.... My daughter is about your age. I couldn't imagine her going through this alone. I feel somewhat protective, having kids that are almost your age. What do you need to feel okay with communicating with your parents? What can we do to help you do this? I couldn't imagine my kid suffering while I had no clue. I would want to know as soon as possible so I could help them! I'm willing to bet your parents are the exact same way... it's a parental thing. You might not understand it, but us parents live for our kids.

[iluvdukie1]

I don't know if there is really anything that can be done to make it easier, I just need to get myself to do it. And also, these last three days have pretty much clarified that something is wrong. I am going to make a post about it later.