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#1
Jul 19, 2012, 12:52 AM
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just a bit... I was... and I suspected, I overspent on services, I posted here, I was told in plain English that my spending is extreme and that I must be hypo... I should have at least known to stay as far away from my ex as possible until all this giddiness subsides... no I called him with... ok will explain later but boy it is so hard to always be within limits, so hard... and it is boring too to never be a bit hypo... oh-la-la
i'm just a poor little bp, i need a break every once in a while ok, sleepytime, or else i will f.... up something at work tomorrow and that would be really bad it is hard to be a bp, it is as if I talk and act without any pre-thinking or analysis I wish I went on this board instead of phoning my ex now I cannot see my daughters either because the court order has visitation in his discretion and he is fed up with me, but the tougher part for me (weird, I know) is not being in touch with him ok, tomorrow is another day. i will need therapy. this will cost money, as the only therapist whom i know who can do the job is in private practice. ex wants a doctor who will wean me off him and then contact him, convince him that i have been weaned off, and then he can listen to what i have to say in some therapist's office once a month Last edited by hamster-bamster; Jul 19, 2012 at 01:08 AM. |
 BipolaRNurse
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#2
Jul 19, 2012, 12:55 AM
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#3
Jul 19, 2012, 01:09 AM
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 BipolaRNurse
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#4
Jul 19, 2012, 01:19 AM
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...yes I was tempted to add a 'safety' clause like in small print.
(imagine smaller print yep) how to be safe when hypo: 1, stay away from anything even slightly resembling a 'normal' human and (if unsure ask a nearby normal human if they are normal or not and if they say NO...then stay away??) 2, hide any and all cash and credit cards! 3, if horny?...masturbate! (oh...unless you got a hubby wife partner yep) 4, look at previous phone bill from last hypo there are many more I guess but I don't want to kill the party Last edited by Anonymous32912; Jul 19, 2012 at 01:34 AM. |
| BlueInanna, bluemountains, venusss
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#5
Jul 19, 2012, 01:37 AM
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LMAO Monkey! And Hamster, hey it happens... I hope you at least keep the massage out of the whole thing, cuz you do deserve one and they're so healthy for body mind and spirit.
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| hamster-bamster
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#6
Jul 19, 2012, 01:42 AM
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I will sign for Optimism, maybe with tracking I will be ahead of the curve. I have seen good reviews on this board. F...!
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#7
Jul 19, 2012, 01:59 AM
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Oh yes, I started Optimism charting last week. It is very easy to use, very fast download, just save to you desktop.
But I did forget to fill it out for 4 days now, oops... will open it now and do it. |
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#8
Jul 19, 2012, 07:48 AM
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Hi HB,
I'm sorry about the oops phonecall. Please come to the boards next time!!! Does the t you mentioned offer a sliding scale? I hate that you are at the mercy of your ex-h when it comes to seeing your kids. And, I'm sorry, but I think he's an ***** because he uses your children as leverage to control your behavior. Obviously the courts you deal with have no mercy or knowledge of the bp world. Bluemountains |
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#9
Jul 19, 2012, 08:11 AM
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I agree with bluemountains. hey I shouold have abreviated that hehe. Anyway back on topic. I agree Im sorry he uses your kids as leverage like that its unfortunate, he must not understand mania at all. And Dblmonkey has got it correct although everytime I disregaurd saftey well accept money as I dont have any to spend literally. So cheers to you monkey good advice. And HB I hope things work out for the best and you have an amazing day at work or as best you can at a place of work.
__________________
“When everything seem to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it ....” ― Henry Ford lamictal 200mg, synthroid 75 mcg, Testosterone injections thanks to lithium causing thyroid problems |
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#10
Jul 19, 2012, 12:18 PM
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Not that simple - my ex says, "if you want to see the kids, take them to live with you, I am fine with that. What I am not fine with and am tired of is your calling and writing completely out of the blue, any time, completely without warning and wanting more and more of it, knowing no limit." Unfortunately he is right. I would not take him up on his offer to take the children for a number of reasons, namely but not limited to:
- I have no desire - I am not fit to be their parent, I am scrambling to put together my own existence and often fail - he is like a rock to them - they love him tenderly - they are wary of me, they, ages 12 and 14 already, would not want to live with me - he does wonderful things for him. E.g. latel |
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#11
Jul 19, 2012, 12:23 PM
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He has been taking them on bike rides and 5K runs, he is a very devoted father. I have never seen such a good father. So steady, so loving, so understanding. So different from my own father - a polar opposite. So no, I cannot deprive my daughters of a chance to grow up into young women with him.
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#12
Jul 19, 2012, 09:47 PM
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F...! It is Lithium! I missed a dose and a half of Lithium. I order the meds through the mail, expected them on Sat but they arrived on Mon only. On Sat I took 2 pills instead of 3 and on Sunday, none. I am THAT sensitive, f...! It is first time in more than a year that I miss a dose of something. And I knew that I am sensitive so I took extra Depakote when I had no Lithium, thinking that it is anti-manic, too, but nooo, it is Lithium that does the job. F...!
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#13
Jul 19, 2012, 10:11 PM
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He invited me to dinner. I just came home. He was nice. You just never know with him. I wrote to him about the Lithium thing and promised not to bother him by writing more and told him that I had made a therapy appt. We will see. The thing I will miss the most is cooking for him - I love it.
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#14
Jul 19, 2012, 11:15 PM
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Im glad things smoothed out some .. Wow about the missed doses of Lithium at least now you know.
Happy you got some great food tho
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#15
Jul 20, 2012, 11:47 AM
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#16
Jul 21, 2012, 10:46 PM
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So things smoothed out further. He invited me to dinner again. I just came back. My younger daughter cooked corn herself! Yummy! They are moving to an adjacent city for the sake of a better school district, in a month. I said: "I am going to starve to death", referring to the fact that he has had me over for dinner frequently recently (we live nearby). He said "Well you will get a bike and will be only healthier for it". (I do not have a car and cannot afford one now, I get to work by public transit). So he basically implicitly invited me to their new place already! I thought this would never happen. He also agreed to come to eat dinner at my place tomorrow - I am going to go grocery shopping for that now. And, believe it or not, he and the kids rescued another cat so I am fostering three cats now. And a nice kitty, too. So all is well, basically. I wrote myself an email with the subject line "no emails to him unless he writes and even then think" and I will not archive this email, I will always have it looking at me. I also took BuggsBunny's advice from another thread in the spring in which she recommended that I delete his contact from my phone. It takes longer to punch in the numbers than to just press one button. So that should help me with calls. Lastly, I "took" a letter than I had composed in my mind for him, revised it a bit, and will send it to a good friend of mine who cares about me. It is about something important. I will basically involve friends and this board and the treatment team when I have something to say, instead of compulsively address my ex. I understood that there is no court order, as he put it, that mandates his contact with me. So that is da plan.
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#17
Oct 24, 2012, 06:38 PM
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So I have been postponing it due to the move and everything but finally I will get an 80 minute massage this coming Sunday - the massage that I bought from Amazon Local when I was briefly hypomanic. I look forward to it now! BlueInanna, you are a connoisseuse
 of massage - is there anything in particular I should ask this lady to do?
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