Is it possible i actually am worthless?

flipenzeeflop · Nov 13, 2012, 08:58 AM

A thought that has been going through my head as of late is as follows. Is it actually possible i am worthless? That i really am one of natures mistakes? An evolutionary dead end of some sort?

It feels that way for sure....i feel my final funkdown approaching. I feel like i am on a train headed at a brick wall at 100 miles and hour and i cant get off.

Clinte89 · Nov 13, 2012, 09:35 AM

You are worth something worth to your family and friends and without people like us society would be very boring. So keep your head up kiddo.

Trippin2.0 · Nov 13, 2012, 09:57 AM

No. Human trafficking is a booming business, so you are worth big bucks! Seriously tho, you're NOT worthless, you mean something to someone, and that is worth more than all the treasure in the world... Dont be hard on yourself, take it 1 moment at a time. Bipolar is a b,tch to deal with, but aleast you know the depression isnt permanent. You can choose to live for a better tomorrow...

hang in there, you're not alone.

unaluna · Nov 13, 2012, 10:14 AM

trippin, you made my day. she's right, you don't know who you're relevant to. i'm starting to appreciate my irrelevance. as a matter of fact, yesterday I decided on that for the title of my autobiography: "So I'm Irrelevant!". It was gonna just be all blank pages except I talk too much. But seriously.

Nov 13, 2012, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flipenzeeflop

A thought that has been going through my head as of late is as follows. Is it actually possible i am worthless? That i really am one of natures mistakes? An evolutionary dead end of some sort?

It feels that way for sure....i feel my final funkdown approaching. I feel like i am on a train headed at a brick wall at 100 miles and hour and i cant get off.

i know the feeling too well.

but, i am sure you are worth something... you're alive, so it's not too late to do what you want to do.

faerie_moon_x · Nov 13, 2012, 10:22 AM

I know that feeling of worthlessness, too. It's the depression. It's the lie the depression tells you.

You're more important than you realize. Someone said that to me recently, and now I say it to you.

Trippin2.0 · Nov 13, 2012, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

trippin, you made my day.

Anytime, it always a pleasure

Nov 13, 2012, 10:25 AM

No, Flipenzeeflop, it's not possible that you are worthless. It's possible that you're putting yourself on a guilt trip to meet all guilt trips, but not possible that you're worthless.

The solution lies in a strong religious faith of some type. Please permit yourself to travel in that direction and see how you're guilt melts away.

Others have their own way of dealing with it; each of us finds what's right if searching for it.

Take care.

flipenzeeflop · Nov 13, 2012, 11:50 AM

I hate to sound odd but the VERY day i was jumped and thrown down some stairs, beaten savagely, threatened with knives and robbed of many possetions i hold dear. I ad prayed my *** off on the way to work....i dont do that sort of thing often. Ok i am not NUTS but i dunno, if THATS how God reviels himself i will pass.

canacrip · Nov 13, 2012, 12:15 PM

I can point to valid reasons I am worthless. I am in a wheelchair, have f'n bp and don't work for a living. It's always there. Last summer I attempted suicide. I failed. I also learned that I hurt many people. For them to hurt, then they must at least like me! They love me. Therefore, I do have worth. I don't get it, but somehow, I have become valuable to those around me. It is crushing that I hurt them in order to learn it, but I will LIVE with it. I am too valuable not to. I hope that you will see that by taking the time to say these things, I have demonstrated your value to me, as well. And I don't even know you! Hang in there and stop listening to your head.

faerie_moon_x · Nov 13, 2012, 12:32 PM

Canacrip makes a valid point.

Being in a wheel chair doesn't make you worthless. Having bipolar doesn't make you worthless. Having a job or not having a job doesn't make you worthless.

In our society we put "worth" on things that are really worthless. Look at money. It's paper and metal. It represents gold in some vault somewhere. We put so much value on money that people have heart attacks over debt and paying bills. But if tomorrow all the world economy crumbled and we went back to simpler times, what would all that paper be worth? That's the illusion.

The real worth is you, your existance, your time spent with your family and friends. The lie that depression tells is that no one loves us, but that's such a horrible lie. With all these "illusions" of actual worthless things sometimes family doesn't show us how much they love and need us. When in the end, all we have is each other.

hamster-bamster · Nov 13, 2012, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flipenzeeflop

A thought that has been going through my head as of late is as follows. That i really am one of natures mistakes? An evolutionary dead end of some sort?

If you are talking about the illness, no, we are just biodiversity, no big deal. Not a dead end, no.

flipenzeeflop · Nov 13, 2012, 03:19 PM

Time spent with family and friends....sigh. My wife took the kids and left me back in 2010. The divorce has finally really ramped up into Uglyville these days. My friends are the ones pushing me so hard these days i think i am going to end up on the news...extended family is practically non existant. When people go on about those who love you etc i just want to cry. It all feels like such a cruel joke.

likewater · Nov 13, 2012, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flipenzeeflop

Time spent with family and friends....sigh. My wife took the kids and left me back in 2010. The divorce has finally really ramped up into Uglyville these days. My friends are the ones pushing me so hard these days i think i am going to end up on the news...extended family is practically non existant. When people go on about those who love you etc i just want to cry. It all feels like such a cruel joke.

i hear so much gutwrenching pain throughout your thread, but that doesn't mean you are worthless or God has abandoned you. life can be very cruel and unfair.
i know the loneliness you talk about and holidays make it worse. night after night i cry thinking is it just too much to ask to want a family and a home where i'm loved and safe? i go to a church where i am dearly loved. i have a bfriend that never wants me.to live with him or get married. my brother in law hates me to visit. my mom tries to kill me and may havehad a hand in my brother's death in july and she used to drug me and my sister so
her bfriends could sexually assault us. my dad died when i was nine. i guess what i'm trying to say is, i understand cruel and unfair, but i KNOW God loves us. i KNOW ultimately , in the end, all will be made right. i also KNOW you have worth. it's your spirit

and soul, not what you do or accomplish sometimes that matters

Anika. · Nov 13, 2012, 05:14 PM

I think its very possible to find worth in spirit and soul, your essence and being, and not subscribe to a religion or higher power. Spirituality is available to everyone.. Religion is not universal tho. If religion works for some that is fine, and if not that is also fine. But they are not really the same thing.

We all have worth, we all bring something. We all contribute to life. I hear your pain, and life right now feels empty. You have great loss, but the loss doesnt have to be perminent. It's something we go through, but there is a way back out, just as there was a way in.

Are there things you could do or are interested in doing that would bring the feeling of worth to your life? Sometimes it just needs a start, and then the feeling can grow. Helping others can be a good way to feel like you are giving back. You dont need to do it to be of worth, but it can help link what we are to what we think about ourselves..

Nov 13, 2012, 05:39 PM

If you pass on a Spiritual Guide because you were thrown down steps, beaten, and robbed, you don't understand the meaning of Spiritual Guide at all, though one can't talk about that on a forum.

Some insight might be available for you in a simple little daily reading called In Touch Daily Devotional.

That's all I think I can say on this subject.

I really feel for your pain and hope you find the deeply desired answer.

flipenzeeflop · Nov 13, 2012, 05:40 PM

"If you pass on a Spiritual Guide because you were thrown down steps, beaten, and robbed, you don't understand the meaning of Spiritual Guide at all, though one can't talk about that on a forum."

Gee thanks so much for this...

Nov 13, 2012, 06:17 PM

You're welcome--nothing like touching a nerve to help someone do some in-depth thinking.

flipenzeeflop · Nov 13, 2012, 06:42 PM

You mean you act like a Tool for good ,and not just because you're a Tool?

unaluna · Nov 13, 2012, 06:58 PM

what are you, drunk? there's no need to be nasty and be name-calling.

hamster-bamster · Nov 13, 2012, 07:40 PM

Another idea is to drop the term "worthless" altogether. Think about what could make you more content and feel better instead. "worth" is a construct. It does not exist in reality. Feelings exist.

Nov 13, 2012, 07:49 PM

I don't think he's drunk, Hankster. I think it's deeper than that, and I hope he finds the way out of the feelings. These kinds of things are to be expected when we dance too close to the truth.

Thanks for your response, though.

Gen