Does anyone else ever struggle with being perfect?

I guess I just put "pretty girls" and neat handwriting together, because they just go together for me.. I feel like I can't be pretty if there are some things about me that aren't. I know alot of people who are not pretty and have amazing handwriting.. but they don't bother me as much as the pretty girls. It's like they have it all. they're pretty, have nice clothes, every boy wants them, ectt.. and they get nice, pretty handwriting too. It's just not fair to me. :/ && I know this all goes back to my self esteem and I know that I have EXTREMELY low self esteem, but I don't know how to fix it.. my boyfriend told me that everything I'm feeling like I'm not good enough, I'm supposed to look in the mirror and think 'I'm beautiful, stop being stupid" ..I just can't get it to work :/ sometimes I feel like I'm really pretty, and nothing can bring me down, then something as simple as my bad handwriting takes away all the good feelings and I just feel horrible again, in every way possible.
..That's another reason why I like being cyber schooled. People can only see the words I type. So they're just focusing on the words, and not my bad handwriting.

I hear therapy is good for crappy self-esteem.

I have no been to see a therapist yet.. even though tomorrow is my 3 week mark, since starting my mood journal.. which I went down through today and just read the moods.. and it's a jumbled mess..

Hmm, well I am not a bad looking women, but my handwriting is horrible by some peoples standards, it's a kin to my grammar and spelling My 13 year old son's handwriting is way more pretty than mine. I can barely read my own writing.. but it's ok. It's mine, who is to judge it, and does their judgement matter? Is it even correct?

I agree, the self esteem, so looking in the mirror and just saying you are pretty isn't going to make you feel it or believe it. Telling your self to stop being stupid at the same time seems like a negative thing to do, it's basically saying you are being stupid, or you wouldn't need to stop.

Maybe we can try to help you come up with ideas for working on your self esteem. It is so important to be able to accept yourself as you are. Because it is who you are, and the judgement does not need to be part of this.

I spent so many years feeling like that, it just isn't worth it.

Even better, so now when you do start therapy, you can put 'weird mood swings' as well as 'low self-esteem' on the table as a starting point. Neither you nor your T will have to figure out what you need from therapy...

Trippin... that was your 5,300th post .. Cool

AWESOMMMME! haha! I cant see those stats, or titles, sucky phone! Thanks Christina!!! Mwahz

what do you mean Trippin?

People seek out therapy for specific reasons no? Yes you are initially going to have your moodswings evaluated, and so forth, but mood is not the root of all evil, it brings with it, different brands of everything, plus we have underlying things too. Low self-esteem is 1 of your 'things' and you can address this with your new T, and set a clear therapeutic goal...So when your T asks what else you'd like to work on,you already have the answer.

ohh, okay. I understand now, thanks. & that will work if I ever get a T ..

Course it will

I looked around for a while, this is probably the best link I came across. I could use some more work in this too.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...elf-acceptance

A therapist can totally help you with this ,Trippin is right. You can still work on it on your own too, there are no rules about any of this stuff. I like how they break down self esteem from self acceptance in this article. I'm learning some new stuff myself.

No pressure to use any links I put here, I just find linking to material in topics like this useful, as it can help us with somewhere to start and stuff to think about. Because these topics are complex.

If you google mindful self acceptance you get some really interesting articles, but yes they mention buddhism so I will refrain, but the concept and ideas in them are soo spot on I think.

and I crossed into 4K today... cool, too

Cool beans Hammy!!! And Trippin!!! to you both!

My counter is climbing too fast since it was reset.. you know what that means... I need to get out more.. I do.

Go Hamster

LOL Anika !

this is easily the most insightful thing I have read today for ages yesterday today last week and tomorrow...and especially it applies to anytime.

simply brilliant! thankyou

I agree with you dubblemonkey
& Thank you guys for caring so much, that link was great

no not at all. i'am just prefect in my own little way

Thank you Jamesy

This is a bit adult but since you are active, I will share with you. My handwriting is decent but nothing beyond that. Not pretty. Not neat. Just legible.

So yesterday I snail mailed one erotic handwritten letter to an old lover in New York and today I snail mailed another erotic letter to a new guy here in the Bay Area. That is my new thing - handwritten erotic letters. Handwritten because it is more touching, more personable than print. Letters because I am too shy to say daring things in person. Snail mail because I do not want to create an electronic record.

Do you know what I think/hope will happen? They will be ecstatic when they read the letters! They will be ecstatic beyond belief, and they would not care for a second about my substandard handwriting. The content will be the only thing that matters.

In a few days I will know whether I am right.

I hope you're right

So the Bay Area guy never mentioned my letter. I do not know whether he has received it. Should I ask him?

The New York guy says that he read it over and over again, not once, not twice, but many times. And, he did not mention my poor handwriting.

So, either I am only 50% successful or there was a problem with mail delivery in the Bay Area.

well that is good & I think you should ask him. , but that is just my opinion.

will do! as you say

Perfection is the enemy of good!!!!!

You are human - that means that you are not perfect. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to be human like the rest of us