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#376
Jan 19, 2013, 12:14 AM
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unrelenting pain .. I see no reason to live like this.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
 Anonymous100180, Anonymous45023, gary290
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#377
Jan 19, 2013, 12:28 AM
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Quote:
 hang in there, it will get better. So sorry you're suffering, sending healing vibes and prayers your way
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#378
Jan 19, 2013, 12:52 AM
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Quote:
Ah, Christina, the catch is that the pain that's too much to bear forever is the pain you're suffering now. Now may not be anything like this now in an hour, a day. The issue isn't is there reason to live like this but is the pain bad enough to die for? I understand the question, Christina. I really do. I know answers are unique, individual. No one can say they're wrong. * hugs forever * may there be some relief, to give you rest ~ Roadie
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#379
Jan 19, 2013, 07:12 AM
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I've had a dreadful head cold for a few days now. Hardly slept last night because of the congestion. Now I'm watching bad sci-fi on Netflix and typing away on the computer. On the plus side the depression seems to be subsiding some. Determined to have a good day despite everything else.
__________________
Bipolar Type I Depressive Type PTSD, GAD ——————— Risperdal 1.5mg Lamictal 400mg Celexa 120mg Doxepin 10mg |
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#381
Jan 19, 2013, 07:24 AM
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Life truly sucks right now. I won't post it all here, but I started a thread on the psychotherapy forum about what is going on. Feel like it is all coming unglued.
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| Anonymous100180, BipolaRNurse, DevilsMatrix, kindachaotic, Victoria'smom
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#382
Jan 19, 2013, 08:31 AM
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I dont get online much more these days. Have soo much going on now. Started working again as my downtime is now passed. Ive been on the new med prestiq now for about a month and finally get to see the doctor on the 24th who is most likely going to take me off all my meds because im pregnant. Im not sure what to do or think of all of it as im afraid my thoughts and emotions are going to run wild. Ive slowly been weening myself of my neurontin which has been difficult but havnt stopped the prestiq in fear of withdrawl which im already expierencing from the neurontin. My thoughts are racey and fast..i go from being manic to depressed several times. My thoughts too seem to be more repetive and i just wish itd stop. What to do..what to do.
__________________
 Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.* Current-Diagnosed-Bipolar1 W/physcotic features,OCD,PTSD,Anxiety disorder,and Agoraphobia,Current meds-neurontin 600mg3x a day, pristique 50mg 1 every other day.  meds tried-zoloft,abilify,seroquel,depakote,lithium,trilafol,tegretol,buspar,visteral,remeron,geodon,perphenazine,lamictal,risperdal,cogentin for sideaffects but made gums change color
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| DevilsMatrix
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#384
Jan 19, 2013, 01:57 PM
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Going to try to get a decent amount of writing done today. I'm feeling alright which is a good thing. I finally set up a blogger blog to express all of my useless and schizo thoughts, which is a good thing.
That's something I'm trying to work on. Writing for the sake of expressing my thoughts. I don't do it as nearly as often as I should. It really does help, so chances are I'll be posting a bunch of trivial blurbs on the new blog. I figure the more I have to keep myself out of my head, the better. |
| DevilsMatrix
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 Anika.
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#385
Jan 19, 2013, 02:02 PM
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I bookmarked your blogs, everythingnothing. When I have a larger attention span, I'll check them out! Writing is definitely a very good tool to stop over-introspecting & over-thinking. My tool of choice, as well! Though I don't think I could be quite so organized.
 Progress report on today: Started hearing things again last night after about 2 months being psychosis-free. I'm not even manic & the depression is incredibly mild, soooooooooo... That's a little strange. Finally managed to get some house stuff done. At least that's improving. For everyone here going through things more difficult than I am!
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| DevilsMatrix
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#386
Jan 19, 2013, 04:52 PM
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another day of snow here..
just been sorting out some of my cds- putting some together.. ll the torie amos, all the sia, all the EA... so it's easier for me to find it all |
| DevilsMatrix
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#387
Jan 19, 2013, 05:09 PM
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Today I didn't leave the house till 4:45pm. I like having 1 day a week where I can do nothing. My mind is on my son and his future life. He was confirmed, by another evaluation, as on the autistic spectrum w/ paranoid schizophrenia. I heard, for the 1st time, about his 11 voices in his mind.
My mom's been telling me, but I was in a bit of denial or wishing it weren't so. |
| Anonymous45023, BipolaRNurse, Darth Bane, DevilsMatrix, kindachaotic, shlump, Victoria'smom
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#388
Jan 20, 2013, 02:47 AM
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Well... I had the strangest dream last night, about my parents fighting. I wake up, and they really are fighting. We own like, 13 dogs, right? We breed them for a buisiness. They are my lifeline in everything. I overhear them arguing about continuing the buisiness. To prove a point, my mother is likely to do anything. [She suffers from dementia, btw]. Long story short, we have a gun in our house. I'm making plans with a close guy-friend about getting some of the dogs and hiding them in an abandoned shed we know how to break into. This has happened numerous times before. I'm scared and shaken and preparing for the worst...
__________________
All that is gold does not glitter Not all who wander are lost - lotr
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| Anonymous100180, kindachaotic
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#389
Jan 20, 2013, 03:19 AM
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Yesterday was my birthday, and it was a good one. Didn't do anything especially exciting.....just had family around and they cooked a delicious dinner for me. I also got a couple of gifts and was reminded, once and again, that I really am loved (which is the most important thing of all). I tend to forget that in the middle of a busy life, birthdays are really just an occasion to count my blessings.
Mood has remained stable x 3 weeks now and counting. Maybe this really is the beginning of a good long stretch of normality......is that even possible in the winter?? Stay tuned!
__________________
DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
| Anika., DevilsMatrix
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| Anika., Cocosurviving
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#390
Jan 20, 2013, 09:07 AM
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Tired, have a headache, and I'm bored. Dishes that I don't want to do need to be done, and laundry that I don't want to do needs to be done. Don't you hate when you're bored and don't actually want to do anything?
__________________
"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten" - G.K. Chesterton Dx- Bipolar Disorder I PTSD OCD Meds- I am currently Med Free 
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#391
Jan 20, 2013, 12:38 PM
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I would really like a smoke. I have the patch on, but I'm used to going out to the porch every hour to smoke, so now I'm just sitting here.
Have a lot of work to get done today. So that should distract me. |
| Anika.
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| Anika.
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#393
Jan 20, 2013, 01:40 PM
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how I am feeling today....hmm.... how about ready to stab myself in the head and be done? that about sums it all up
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| Anika., BipolaRNurse
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#394
Jan 20, 2013, 06:27 PM
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we're always going to have those days ... I try to find some counter like a creative hobby that gets me involved in something outside of me
or I beat the stuffings out of my pillow ... or cry till it's sopping wet. |
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#395
Jan 20, 2013, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
It was a good day despite this head cold. We watched movies and talked all day. I'm figuring out how to download movies on my laptop. I love old black and white sci fi movies.
__________________
Bipolar Type I Depressive Type PTSD, GAD ——————— Risperdal 1.5mg Lamictal 400mg Celexa 120mg Doxepin 10mg |
| BipolaRNurse
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#396
Jan 20, 2013, 06:40 PM
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I cried last night for like 2 hours... its just been major suckage for my lovely lil world lately
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| Anika., BipolaRNurse, swheaton
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#398
Jan 20, 2013, 11:31 PM
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Quote:
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#399
Jan 20, 2013, 11:36 PM
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My day has been good. I went to church. I just started attending Sunday school and I'm really enjoying it. I enjoy learning abt God. After church I attended a prayer class. I did have one bad thing happen today. I had a dizzy spell twice. I'll be calling my pdoc abt it Tuesday
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#400
Jan 21, 2013, 07:40 PM
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I've had a lazy day. I got up early and watch the inaugural 2013 all morning. I made a few phone calls and haven't started getting things ready for 2moro. Overall my mood has been mellow but I have had some anxiety
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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