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#627
Feb 26, 2013, 04:38 PM
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My day has been good so far. I hung out with the girls---quilting & knitting. We ate and laughed. My mood was good. Right now I thinking I'm cycling or just also had an anxiety attack. I have a refill for some anti-anxiety and I better fill it fast.
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
 Anonymous53876, BlueInanna
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#628
Feb 26, 2013, 05:20 PM
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Trying to make sense of the week long episode I just had. Not ashamed, just think the whole thing is weird. Wavering on how much effort I want to put into "fixing" the relationships I broke, 3 big ones. Maybe I needed to get crazy to make a change, maybe I'm just a little crazy and that's that. Not sure yet.
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| Anonymous45023, Anonymous53876, treehugger727
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#629
Feb 26, 2013, 05:30 PM
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Feeling more like myself lately. Got out of work early for the ton of snow we are getting in Chicago. Making a big pot of chicken dumping soup and baking beer bread. That's the plan.
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BP 2, GAD Meds: 300 mg Lamotrigine 600 mg Lithium 5 mg Aripiprazole (currently tapering off) Clonazepam as needed Supplements: Vitamin D, Inositol, Melatonin, L-Theanine, CBD oil be gentle with yourself. you are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. -max ehrmann |
| Anonymous53876, BlueInanna
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#630
Feb 26, 2013, 10:06 PM
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little bit more of a settled better day went for a walk in the snow after shoveling snow of our drive. Loved the white landscape of everything.
had kind of a freak out talk with boyfriend, which made some anxiety come up but it was worked through nearly as quickly as it began.
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA  for my father I think of you everyday
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| Anonymous53876, BlueInanna
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#631
Feb 27, 2013, 03:05 AM
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BPD2 in check today for sure.
The ex called screaming about something that our daughter did at school that was "all your fault" and I gladly accepted responsibility for it and that was that. So STFU ex and go talk to your new man friend. Stop playing the damn drama-mama card PA-LEEEZE! |
| anonymous91213
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#632
Feb 27, 2013, 03:26 AM
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My husband and I usually go to Arizona every year to visit his 86 yr old mother. This year(first time in eleven years) he told me he hasn't decided if I get to go. He's been preoccupied almost daily with his new girlfriend and doesn't deny it. I'm anxious about everything right now.
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| Anonymous53876
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#633
Feb 27, 2013, 05:22 AM
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feeling a little ill.. because yesterday i had some off bacon (for some unknown reason!). well, my mom made it, so i can blame her
other than that i guess i'm surviving |
| Anonymous53876
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#634
Feb 27, 2013, 04:51 PM
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My day started off rocky. I was home in the dark. I hate being in the dark. The weather was cloudy with overcast. No sunshine in sight. I pulled myself together and went to a local community center. I felt better being around people and socializing. There was a birthday party and I attended.
Mood: mixed
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| Anonymous53876
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#635
Feb 27, 2013, 05:29 PM
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Today I had a shower for the first time in five days.
Didn't have time to wash my hair, though, so it's a greasy mess.
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- Purple Daisy - Bipolar II * Rapid-Cycling 46. Female. Midwest USA. Just returned to treatment in July 2012 after being out of treatment since 1994. First diagnosed at age 21. Writer stuck in a cubicle by day. |
| Anonymous53876, BlueInanna, Victoria'smom
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#636
Feb 27, 2013, 06:07 PM
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Last week, I finally made it through a whole day without crying. I wanted to see how many more days I could keep this up.
I only lasted through that day.. |
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#637
Feb 27, 2013, 08:08 PM
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I think I may be manic or have been manic for a while.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| BlueInanna, roads
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#638
Feb 27, 2013, 10:04 PM
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I took a Ativan for anxiety and started feeling better. I think I need my dosage increased though. I went to Bible study but had a hard time focusing. Mood: mixed
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#639
Feb 27, 2013, 10:06 PM
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Quote:
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#640
Feb 28, 2013, 11:12 AM
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My morning is going ok. There is sunshine out today. Mood: mellow
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#641
Feb 28, 2013, 09:28 PM
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I'm backkkkk. The rest of my day was pretty good...Bible story & support group. My mood was a little low.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| Anonymous53876
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#642
Mar 02, 2013, 07:38 AM
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I've been having such horrible anxiety since coming off tegetol. It really sucks. Like right now I'm shaking b/c the anxiety is so bad.
I seriously hope I'm pregnant this month, so I can get it over with. |
| Anonymous53876, roads
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#644
Mar 02, 2013, 09:53 AM
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Quote:
 Hope the anxiety disappears soon! |
 Moreta
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#645
Mar 02, 2013, 09:57 AM
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Bizarre dreams last night...very depressing dreams of violent deaths, like I was watching some violent movie or something.
I slept too much, so I have that sleep hangover thing going on too...just can't stand that. Bleh...I like it much better when I wake up happy instead of depressed, sleepy, and confused. I hope to be OK once I get on with the day. Have a great weekend everybody! 
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#646
Mar 02, 2013, 10:31 AM
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"Movie" may have been your wrap up of the day--personal or world. There's so much violence out there. Are you a visual person? Deaths & violence may not be related to you personally but just a response to how your neighborhood, city, or world is.
A lot of us on the kind of meds prescribed for bipolar, depression, BPD & similar disorders "come to" in that sleep hangover--groggy, depressed, and confused. As some of the meds wear off, others keep right on working ... so I feel that slow motion thing of mentally & physically trying to swim up to my day's surface where I'm real and so is the world ... just can't stand that. I know it goes against nature, but the faster you get blood moving through that body and brain, the sooner you'll break through the blehs and feel a little happy start to creep in. About five minutes of exercise, some fresh fruit (whole, not juice) whole wheat toast, and coffee. Shower.  Yes, I'm certified crazy.   Bipolar alcoholic, a month in a psych unit  capable of morning happies--if only I bother to get off my pity pot 
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#648
Mar 02, 2013, 02:30 PM
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I'm not doing well. I'm worried a d overwhelmed. On the verge of Failure, failure so huge that I could lose my business, home, everything material. I'm not materialistic, but I need to support 3 kids and my mom, they need food and shelter. I chose men who couldn't contribute to raising their children. All of this is my fault, bad choice after bad choice.
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| Moreta, ~Christina
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#649
Mar 02, 2013, 06:10 PM
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I don't even know if I'm bipolar. Some days I feel I've GOT to see a doctor, because I'm really bad, but then there are times when I think that it's not necessary. I went to a psycholog for 3 times, but then I stopped because she just made me cry, and I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere, and it was too expensive. I know I should go back, and I'm looking for someone less expensive.
My days are always a mess. I never know what my day will be like. I'm afraid of just going to school, because if I have a "bad day" the day will be really horrible, and then I should just hide away on my own, I shouldn't meet anyone, because I'm not able to keep a conversation, not to laugh, and I mess up everything, and everyone end up with being mad on me or annoyed. But I ****ing love these days when I feel great. You know, the feeling of peace inside and out, you're just happy, everything's perfect, there might not even be a reason for why I feel like it. You just go around smiling, talking to everyone, laughing for nothing, just feeling great. But then suddenly it changes and I feel horrible, like REALLY horrible, loose the meaning of life, hate everything, feel just passive, just wanna hide away, can't sleep. Well in fact I think I'm bipolar, but I'd like to get it checked, maybe some medicaments, because it's quite frustrating, and I mess up everything with people around me, with school and work and all, and friends, and in the end I just end up hating myself. |
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#650
Mar 02, 2013, 08:01 PM
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I'm so sorry it's crashed down on you like this, BlueInanna. I hope you have someone calm and sensible you can review everything with and possibly find some new options. You've worked too hard for it to come to this.
 roadie |
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