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#876
Apr 10, 2013, 04:36 PM
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I have been realizing and recognizing some sort of cycling..rapid I suppose...from feeling down to over-exuberance. I got caught up on my sleep which definitely helped my overall mood. I was aware of my fatigue and was able to warn my ex and my daughter to expect to see me stressed and agitated over normal events and guess what...they listened and it helped out! Especially my daughter who is only 7 and does not understand or like the mood swings; she is getting used to me saying "ok, daddy didn't get enough rest so don't get upset just because I do...I gotta work thru this and she says ok daddy, thanks for letting me know"
I just LOVE her and don't want to cause any more harm in their lives with my mood swings! I am so happy and blessed to have made this much progress that I recognize my swings and can warn them and ask for assistance rather than boil over and them not know what my deal is! 
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 Anonymous32734, Anonymous33250
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 Cocosurviving
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#879
Apr 11, 2013, 11:19 AM
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I feel sick today. My mood says I'm fine but I'm not. I'm tired of posting depressing thoughts and I need to get motivated. I feel more depressed than bipolar now. Even if that's what the psychiatrist says I am. Seroquel has made me a zombie for years. He also prescribed effexor xr again but its making me so nauseus and like I have burning in my veins. Intense anxiety I guess.
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#880
Apr 11, 2013, 12:58 PM
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Quote:
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#881
Apr 11, 2013, 01:01 PM
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My day has been very low key. I picked up a prescription and came back home. My mood has been funky each morning by mid morning I'm ok.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#882
Apr 12, 2013, 06:49 AM
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Okay this week has been ******, and I am dreading today.
Monday: my Great Aunt died. Tuesday: Heart to heart with woman I love, started well ended ****** with her upset with me. Wednesday: My Aunt died. Thursday: Lover still upset with me, can't talk to her and I need her company and touch. Friday: ... Really don't want today, but I can't hide in bed. I can't just say f*&k it and hide from life, even though everything inside me is telling me just that. I have been thinking about self-medicating with pills it has been that bad, and I don't even like taking my asthma medications!! Only other option is pot. Like I said, today is going to be bad I just know it, and I can't escape it. |
| Anonymous32734, Moreta
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| Cocosurviving
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#883
Apr 12, 2013, 01:16 PM
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Quote:
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#884
Apr 12, 2013, 01:25 PM
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Thanks for the hugs coco. And hugs to douglas too. Such a hard time.
Well the effexor makes me anxious but my sleep seemed a bit better albeit short. |
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#885
Apr 12, 2013, 04:22 PM
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not been feeling too good at all lately, about myself, my situation, anything
all came together yesterday in a massive crash.. spent the morning typing out a long email to the samaratans and in the afternoon watched the boat that rocked while lying in bed |
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#886
Apr 12, 2013, 06:43 PM
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my bipolar is shuting through the roof right now...I hate it.....my anger and my depression are both out of control....need to look at chaging both mood stablizers and anti depressants
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA  for my father I think of you everyday
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#888
Apr 12, 2013, 07:39 PM
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Feeling lethargic today. Had a mini hypomanic episode last night after too much caffeine, which I drank because of the effect of the major sedative I take to combat the mania. Vicious cycle. Well, this sucks. I need caffeine to get through exams. Now what?
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#889
Apr 12, 2013, 11:00 PM
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Been good, really good even -- situationally too, so it's not "just" my personal brain being "up". Been getting things done, more intense energy, mostly-good kinds.
But today. At work, got into The Zone and did a difficult project really well. Pretty charged up? Oh yes. Possibly a bit overzealously so.  Got into a project at home. When well-intentioned energy went bad. Not horrible, but... more like a reality check. Oh, right, the part of BP surplus energy I hate. Which brought up the ol' mental checklist. Despite having noted for several days now on (what passes for) my mood chart as above neutral, I was writing stuff off. Oh well. |
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#890
Apr 13, 2013, 09:54 AM
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Quote:
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#892
Apr 13, 2013, 02:14 PM
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For once I'm feeling well! This doesn't usually happen! Savor the moments!
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JD Bipolar II - mixed - rapid cycling + anxiety 1500 Lithium, 300 Lamictal, 50 Seroquel XR, Klonopin 1mg, Cymbalta 60 |
| Cocosurviving
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#894
Apr 14, 2013, 02:29 AM
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Yeah. No doubt about it. After days of mounting evidence, it's become obvious. Gone over. No need to clobber with blatant signs, brain! It disagreed.
Got a LOT done, but veered between being, well, you know, awesome and one frikkin' clever, well, you know, to flailing around doing 3 things at once and wanting to crawl out of my skin. And be aggressive and unpleasant. After hanging pictures all day (and cleaning and re-framing and general inventing), intended to go out just to pick up a couple things, like lettuce and bread, and ended up spending a ridiculous amount, largely on account of giant pile of impulse. And junk food. Spoke up to a couple in an elevator (an elevator, ffs!!!) (TWO people!) (AND yabber with the checkout guy!), because I just had to know right then and there, where they had found their yogurt(!) I was a hurricane when home again and on the verge. Of everything. Sedate that thing! So I did. But not until well after shouting, "You can't handle this?! Ignore it!!! Ignore it!!! Don't LOOK at me!!!" And bursting out the door. And later coming back in to re-organize the fridge. And. And. And. Oh. Right. And not being able to fall asleep for 5 hours last night. Didn't manage it till the third medicinal intervention. Wait. Fourth. Ummm, yeah. ****. Off to the races. |
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#895
Apr 14, 2013, 09:55 AM
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Pendulum swings back and forth, back and forth.
I was up up and away the last 2 days now its crash back down to earth time. I hate battling all my urges...its just crazy sometimes...oh wait that is ME that is crazy sometimes LOL. Oh well whatever.
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| Anonymous33250
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#896
Apr 14, 2013, 10:49 AM
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New accounted for and angry at life.
__________________
"Just when I get life under control it goes to...." 
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#898
Apr 15, 2013, 12:51 PM
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Been inside all day. Did open the curtains. Called pdoc and was able to get a same day appt. wish me luck
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#899
Apr 15, 2013, 02:05 PM
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Back on the day shift....hopefully this will continue my healing and well being (been working midnight-8am since Oct 2012). I am having to adjust back to sleeping all night/normally...tossed and turned a lot last night.
Been doing ok since my very emotional morning Sunday. |
| Anonymous33250
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#900
Apr 15, 2013, 04:42 PM
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Have to wait to see the psychiatrist. I don't know how I feel I'm tired
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