when to go inpatient?

I just don't understand.

I read the descriptions of peeps being hospitalized on here and what they are going through.

the ways that they feel and the things that they are doing.

I normally live like they are describing!

I must be missing something............
I'm not saying anything negative or condenscending.......
I'm just aking how a person really knows if they should be going in or not......

There have been two reasons that I have gone inpatient. Either I was unsafe and having suicidal ideation or my symptoms required med changes and being inpatient allowed my pdoc to monitor me carefully while adjusting my meds. (poor sentence structure but I'm sleep deprived)

idealization = having a plan and what? taking steps towards it or seeing yourself doing it?

If I am making plans , writing letter out to my daughter. When I count all the medications out .. and put them in a line based on color, big, small, That is when I know its time to see my T, That is when have signed myself in.

when I get that way, it's not like I am in crisis mode. It's just something that I have to be more aware of. it passes.

I guess I have this idea that to go inpatient someone has to be in such a crisis that they are kicking and screaming while the doctors are dragging them into the hospital lol.......

i have no idea how it really goes.

counting pills and writing letters dont' seem like much of a big deal of me. at least not to me.

everyone has there own " oh **** I need to go inpatient or im going to end my life" I have signed myself in the last 3 times ... Once I cut all the way to my thigh bone 2 cuts all the way down, needed over 50 sutures to put it all mack together.

Everyoned's crisis point is different

okay. just so I understand... inpatient is for the times that it's either that or the follow through, right?

I'm trying to discover the times in my life that I could have used this tool. never considered it before

Yes when I hit a wall with say cutting, its so deep I need loads of sutures or I could bleed to death.

Suicidal thoughts that become actions ,

kk.......

I've never been to inpatient although I'm sure there are multiple events when I really, really needed to be there. I have a feeling I won't ever be in inpatient, even if I really really need it. Why? Insurance stuff partly but also work stuff mostly. I think getting hospitalized for bipolar would cost me my job.

The first time i went in was because i was so depressed and was SIing a lot. The second time I went in was because I was at a day program and I couldn't sign the safety contract, so they put me in inpatient. The 3rd time was b/c I was so damn manic and wanted to off myself. My husband left me and went to stay at my mom's so that was a great phone call for him.

For me, it comes down to whether or not I am going to put myself in harms way. If I am thinking suicidal thoughts or am gambling with risky behavior then I need to be watched and have someone there to help me at all times. I have only needed it once.... but when I did go, it was necessary.

When I get so depressed and start getting suicidal, I now I should go to hospital. At his stage my lie has no value, and I've probably thought of a we options to follow through with the ideation.
The other time it was "too late" and I landed in hospital after and OD.
Ad then I was hospitalized because I'd messed around with my meds combo and was taking them as I found fit, and needed to stop benzo's which would result in withdrawals and I needed to be inpatient for them to help me.

I committed myself when I realized I was cycling every 5 min (I kid you not - suicidal to happiest I've ever been in my life and back in 5 min). I realized I was a threat to myself while I was in the shower. Ironically my best friend, her son, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend were all in the house.. no one but me realized I was in CRISIS. I asked my bf to call 911. He said no, so I got out of the shower and called for help then finished my shower and waited for help. I had no idea they'd send the equivalent of a SWAT team. It was some horrible (no longer a cop - too many claims against him from that night backed by other cops statements and video from in the cop car) on a power trip. He lost his job and his tenure. But the hospitalization was exactly what I needed.

When I OD'd on high blood pressure medication my dad caught me and took me to the ER. They pumped my stomach and I threw up on my socks despite the 5 paramedics holding me down. I was in the hospital for 3 days. By the time they came for my psych evaluation I was manic (they only asked if I was depressed and suicidal - hell no! I wanted out of there!). I probably should have gone to the psych hospital then (this was after my initial stay in the psych hospital).

I probably should have gone to the psych hospital after I OD'd on muscle relaxers but poison control told my bf what to do and when to take me to the ER. Turned out I just took enough to give me a 3 day hangover (this was pre-psych-hospital).

As for plans: my T believes if you have a suicide plan you're in danger. I disagree. I've thought it through in great detail. I'm one of those people who needs to have a plan and a contingency plan and a worst case scenario plan. For instance: after having my stomach pumped once, I probably won't try to OD again. But, knowing what suicide options appeal to me helps me make sure that option is not readily available (see my post on safety plans http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=262247). I think having thought through my whole plan helps me keep me safe. I've also shared my safety plan with close friends and family. For example: if they get an overly gushy phone call or text from me they usually question if I'm safe.

For me, a gun doesn't appeal but my mom insists that if I get a gun if my mood takes a dive I'm to take the gun to her house or call her to come get it immediately. For me, allowing myself to think everything through means I can throw up checkpoints and roadblocks to help me help myself. I know for some people those same thoughts indicate they're in trouble and should be hospitalized. I feel safer knowing what I would do and how to prevent my own death (even if it's what I think I want). There are layers upon layers of safety. My T still thinks it's a terrible idea because it's "suicidal ideation."

Regardless - any time you find that your thoughts are hijacked towards suicide or you find you can't let the idea go, or your obsessed with planning every detail of your suicide, or you begin to act on those ideas, STOP, DO NOT PASS GO - go straight for the ER, call 911, commit yourself, whatever you have to do to make yourself safe again.

I Have been inpatient many times over the last 20 years.
It has always been for safety. I have either had a strong plan to hurt myself or I have already carried it out. In the second case I get to the Psyc Unit via the ICU.
Sometimes I wonder how I still could be alive.

I am going Inpatient for a few days today. The grief of losing my son plus my Bipolar 1 disorder have pushed me to the edge. I keep wanting to take all my seroquel and never wake up.The state I am in, plus my past history say it is only a matter of time until I do it.

The Psyc unit I will go to I have been going to since 2000. I know the staff very well. Someone of them even came to my son's viewing. I know they can help me.