moods

Well i did feel really happy but now I'll unbelievably depressed. I know it's cuz I'm unmedicated. I felt like i could control it at one point in time but now i feel like I've lost all control.

I will be that sappy person to say it will get better. You have to look for the silver lining on the rain clouds. Its the only thing that gets me through

I hope so! I don't know how much more i can take!

Well if you need someone to talk to I am here

I always try to remind myself that since I have bipolar disorder eventually what goes down must come up (that being one of the diagnostic criteria and all). I just cling to that.

I also listen to music that makes me happy or watch movies that make me happy.. if that doesn't work sometimes I go for a movie that I know will make me cry - sometimes it's cathartic but that's only something I do if I'm pretty sure I'm only depressed and NOT suicidal or in danger of becoming a danger to myself.

I self harm. I barely sleep. I hate everything about my life right now.

I'm sure you've been asked ... but do you see pdoc & T? are you getting best possible meds for you--not stuff just "good enough" to keep you out of hospital?
You must be your Chief and never-relenting Advocate when it comes to,your health care.

You deserve the best, and it is available. Sadly, in today's world, one must sometimes become obnoxious to get what's due you.

But at this point in out lives, I shrug and say, "So be it."

there are worse options!
* hugs galore *
Roadie

I do not have a pdoc or a t. I have trouble opening up to people. It's taking a lot even to put it on here.

we've all been where you are. low, depressed, un functioning, but we come out of it.. and you will too

we're here to listen

I'm so glad you're back here. Try to settle in here as best you can ... Wander the forums and post you feel a connection with anyone. It's the best way, I think, to get to know the people.
If I can help any, let me know. I'm a complete mess myself at the moment but everyone here has time for me when I really need them and it always works out.
Roadie



sleepy, much? yes--I'm having one,of my sleepless nights tonight ...
Hate Them So Much!!!!

That's comforting to know! I'm trying to work. I don't want to do it! I've been hospitalized 3 times for my bipolar but every time they overdosed me on the meds they did give me. So i said screw it every time i got out. They didn't even listen when i did try to open up.

I'm listening

Thank you but apparently I'm not sleeping again today. Honestly i can barely put a thought together.

You remind me of my own beginning with this problem. I would self harm. You aren't alone in this battle and reaching out to people on here is a start. It took me years to find a T that I could trust and feel comfortable talking to. I know it feels hard but there is one set out there if you look hard enough. Let that be the solution if you "dont know how much more you can take"

I'm currently sitting in the VA. I'm thinking about going to mental health to see if i can get in.

From my experience, if the thought has crossed my mind I probably need it.

And for the record, I am proud of you for considering it. It takes a strong person to admit when they need more help

I don't think I'm going to go. I don't know what i want. One second i want to the next i don't.

The decision is ultimately yours, but what thoughts are you having that make it seem like a poor choice to go?

Trust. Actually opening up to someone face to face.

I wish someone had told me that opening up really is the key to getting better. I wouldnt have spent 15 years suffering in silence. If you can share what is happening with you they can get you what you need. However no one can twist your arm to make this happen... Myself included

So the choice is ultimately yours. If you chose to walk away from this opportunity now, maybe the best thing to consider would be to do a little research to see what Ts and such are available to you in the area and try to find someone that seems like what you are looking for because even that would continue to be progress that you could feel proud of

i don't know. I opened up today and I got nothing out of it except being upset and sad.

The VA is free to me. It would honestly be my best potion.

landskaperdan, I am sorry that you were made to feel that way. I really do care and dont want you feeling that way either