[vortex]

i have lost count of the days or weeks that i have been feeling the low of bipolar depression and i can't escape the intrusive thoughts of wanting to S/H. feeling really desperate today and on my brother's 50 th birthday as well. will just have to put on the old ' i'm fine face' and get on with it. have got CPN ( community psychi nurse) due to visit this P.M. but it is hours away and i don't know how to keep going. So Empty inside..... but can't cry.. don't even want to. just want to stop (everything?) . anyone out there who understands?....pls talk to me....

[PlanningtoLive]

I understand the emptiness, that feeling of being alone. But you're here at PC and we care what happens to you. The lows of bp will lift eventually, it's just riding thru it that causes so much pain and sadness.

Just remember that you're not alone and people here do care.

Mary Alice

i know the feeling very well. i stayed in my bedroom for two months last summer. we're here for you and we care......please continue to share with us and we'll do what we can to help you. xoxoxo pat

I too have fallen

[vortex]

Thankyou all for your kind support. it is good to know that there are people who still care and to those who also suffer, i send what little strength of support remains to me. since my post, sadly things have got worse and i am now diagnosed as being psychotic (deluded); although i KNOW that What i hear and see is real, even though the Doc thinks I'm ill. He wants me to go into hospital for a 'rest' but is getting very close to 'Sectioning' me which in England means being taken into hospital against your will for anything from an initial 3 days to 6 or even 12 months.He has made me promise that i won't end up in intensive care by the way i am feeling and because i also have to look after my disabled mum for the next 2 weeks, he has set me free but wants to see me twice a week, (Mon and Fri)over these weeks, ending 10th July. He can of course force me into hospital at any time if he thinks he must but i am hoping that he understands how i have to look after mum. So my depression is hidden in my internal lock box and i am like a robot, just working without feeling. Just hope i can hold out... Thanks again everyone, please be strong for each other and remain so for me, i beg of you. yours in desperation. vortex </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Today, the light at the end of the tunnel really IS the express train heading for me. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Stay away from the light!... <font color="orange"> </font>

[Achieve]

<font color="red"> </font> I hear you. I am currently sharing that space w/you. I don't want to get up,shower, or feed myself. People don't seem to understand. And I have no one to talk to. Fortunately I can call my Psych. or therapist when things get out of control. I think you are doing the right thing by reaching out because we all are here for each other. Sometimes we need a shoulder to cry on. Reach out on line sometimes that helps. It's a crummy illness but we are here to support each other. Drop me a line anytime and I will be there.

[fizz]

Im in that awful place just now too.Am trying hard to keep things contained and putting a 'Im ok' face on to those around me.
How long does anyone manage to go on like this till it all cracks and yopu have to let go of these emotions,that are overwhelmingly bad