[Speed3]

I guess there are some out there that are tired about hearing of the loss of my son, believe me it is not for pity.

So I will ask this in a general way because I need suggestions, advice,ect.

How have you dealt with loss while having bipolar disorder. I mean loss like,
loss of a pet, a relationship, a job you loved, a house, your health, your youth, a loved one, a friendship, giving up cigarettes.... Any loss

Has bipolar made it harder, different, longer, made your bipolar symptoms worse, made people stay clear of you, whatever.

What helped you with your loss, helped heal, live with it ?

I just want to say I think all you guys are great and I feel so blessed to find this group when I did. You are all amazing!

[venusss]

I think it depends on the person.

but some **** leaves scars... and i am not sure there is a way around it.

manic depression has 'other' ideas....it has amazing qualities!

....'itself' is an entity an existence and a survival instinct all by itself beyond ourselves.

pain gets away with being painful
love gets away with being lovable

there is no blame in the bipolar brain!

it's in tune.... overtuned to reality that disaster is easily assimilated...and all this happens perfectly when things can't get any worse.

Speed3...I exist in a state of permanent loss and the list is long and the reasons?...

they are all personal

true grief has no time for mania...but mania up or down just works it out anyway

I lost my sister not quite two years ago after a long bout with breast cancer and a bone marrow transplant. Those months following the transplant were incredibly difficult and pretty traumatic for all of us. When she died, the pain of her loss was profound. I grieved strongly for a very long time. I wouldn't say having bp really made it any worse. My T and my pdoc kept reminding me that the grief I was feeling was entirely a normal process and to realize what I was going through wasn't really bp at all.

I allowed myself time to grieve. I worked through my grief in therapy. It took many months to get to a point where I didn't cry each and every day. I'd say the first year was really hard: there are all those "firsts"; the first holiday without her, the first birthday without her, etc.

This second year has been a bit better. I still miss her terribly, but the pain is not so profound.

This is going to take time to get through. There is no time table, but eventually it will get easier. Just don't expect that to happen really soon; it is okay and perfectly normal to be in the kind of pain you are in right now.

Hi Speed,

I lost my mum last year very suddenly (July) but losing a son I can't imagine how you feel it must be so awfully painful, I have lost 2 brothers too.

I still get moments when I break down and cry, It is my way of coping with it.
I am certainly not fed up with hearing about your loss, You're grieving and this is very fresh in your memory, Post as much as you want

[usbusi]

I think time is the key, as farmer girl says. And for me anyways, the same amount of grieving would happen bipolar or not.

[Eliza Jane]

No one is sick of hearing you talk about this tragedy. We do not think you are just looking for pity. Post as much as you need to.

I'm so sorry you are going through probably the worst thing a person can go through.

Best,
EJ

i lost my grandad a few years ago, other family members, more recently my friend bethany..
it is really hard to deal with

You seem to be going from one strength to the next, Speed3. I'm so glad
that you are coming along well.

Yes, I've had experiences that have had to be endured and recovered from.

The first was the death of my father. My husband said to me, "go there and do all you can". That enabled me to get through it, though it was a
profound grief, and it took me years to see it all in perspective.

The second was the death of my mother. I had cared for her for several years before her death and knew what to expect. I had an unusual experience of sensing that her spirit just passed by me and told me that she was fine and not to grieve. I did recover in time.

Third: I lost my husband; I probably never will recover completely from his loss, but knowing him was the most wonderful experience I ever had, and he left me a wonderfully spirited and nice daughter. With two beautiful grandchildren, I have learned contentment.

His estate was such that I didn't have time to grieve initially, and the doctor
said it was probably a good thing that I didn't have time to truly grieve in the first months following his death.

You will learn that, too, even more quickly if you find the thugs who were
the sellers of the heroin.

Tragedy can make us stronger people, Speed3, as we work through it.

Take care, Speed3, and continue your efforts to search for the drug dealers.

Nice to see you posting in your strength. Prayer going up now for your continued growth in strength.

[Speed3]

Originally Posted by genetic

You seem to be going from one strength to the next, Speed3. I'm so glad
that you are coming along well.

Yes, I've had experiences that have had to be endured and recovered from.

The first was the death of my father. My husband said to me, "go there and do all you can". That enabled me to get through it, though it was a
profound grief, and it took me years to see it all in perspective.

The second was the death of my mother. I had cared for her for several years before her death and knew what to expect. I had an unusual experience of sensing that her spirit just passed by me and told me that she was fine and not to grieve. I did recover in time.

Third: I lost my husband; I probably never will recover completely from his loss, but knowing him was the most wonderful experience I ever had, and he left me a wonderfully spirited and nice daughter. With two beautiful grandchildren, I have learned contentment.

His estate was such that I didn't have time to grieve initially, and the doctor
said it was probably a good thing that I didn't have time to truly grieve in the first months following his death.

You will learn that, too, even more quickly if you find the thugs who were
the sellers of the heroin.

Tragedy can make us stronger people, Speed3, as we work through it.

Take care, Speed3, and continue your efforts to search for the drug dealers.

Nice to see you posting in your strength. Prayer going up now for your continued growth in strength.

I am sorry for all your losses and thank you for the pep talk

I lost my mom to suicide at 22, I thought that was the worse grief ever. I have never fully recovered and still harbor guilt.
Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of my beloved fathers death. I was the only girl and he always made me feel so special and so loved. He respected my differences and proudly said My Leslie always marches to a different drummer.

My son came to me in dream last night. I don't remember the whole dream. Damn Seroquel... But I do remember him saying to me Mom I made a really big mistake and I am so sorry. I said in the dream I know you did Jason but I forgive you. I told him how much I love him and how much I miss him. My heart is just in pieces.

But I am finding strength I never knew I had and I am plunging into the grief full force. The new Heroin action group is meeting for the first time on February 6.

Thanks again for the support and advice

never feel bad about posting on here Speed. I wish you the best of luck on your journey

[BlueInanna]

I'm so glad you found us too and that we found you.
My dads death was a huge loss for me. The depression started in the months leading up to it while the cancer had already won, but made sure he had a lengthy suffering. I did not have bp dx yet, I was 25, 14 yrs ago. I'm not over it, I still miss him and need him everyday. But time helps a bit. Not that the memories together fade, not at all. I still have my memories of him I don't ever want to lose. But with time the acceptance of the reality gets easier to deal with. I dealt with it by keeping going, finding laughter where I could cuz he would've wanted to make me laugh and smile if he could. And I cried a lot, still do sometimes.

[~Christina]

Post all you need and want too. Grief is a peculiar thing, every one has their own path.

[blukitty]

I've lost loved ones in the past. One was due to heart attack (my grandma) just a month before my daughter turned a year old (1986). 3 more within 18 months of each other after grandma (mother, grandpa, and great-grandma), 1992 and 1993. I loved all of them so much. I feel I'm still grieving over their passing. I miss them so much. I really believe that the grieving process can take as long or as short as you need it to be. In my heart, they are still so special to me.