List of things to do while you're waiting for life to pass by or get better

I wasn't able to drift off to sleep until about 3:00 a.m., slept until 8:00, woke up with a headache, took something for it, and slept for another hour.

Then I sat around in my pajamas until a friend sent a text to see if I could meet them for lunch in 30 minutes.

Even though I was stinky (not sure when I last showered), I brushed my teeth and put on some clothes really fast and went to meet them.

I forced myself to be around people.

These people have been friends for a long time, but superficial friends. Not deep relationships. I don't have any deep friendships because they always end badly. So it's easier to avoid getting to know anyone to the point where we talk on the phone every day, know each others' secrets, etc. I haven't had that kind of friendship since the last one ended painfully and without explanation about 20 years ago.

After lunch, I got in my car and just sat there wondering where I should go and what I should do next.

Drove home. Sat in car and wondered if I should go in, and what I would do if I went in.

Sometimes I just sit there and my arms and legs feel too heavy to get out of the car.

When I came inside, I watched a viral video that I knew would make me cry. I've had the sniffy-drippy cries for several days and I knew this one would put me into the heaving-sloppy cries. And it did. Sometimes you need to cry hard.

I still haven't seen or spoken to my son since he moved out Saturday. It is now Thursday.

I agree with what you said about how sometimes you've got to feel the sadness, BlueInanna. You've got to feel it to heal it.

Sometimes I think I've spent too much time recently in the middle range of feeling, because of the anti-depressant.

I know I haven't been hypomanic and I really miss it because I need that creativity.

Now that I'm going through this stuff, I'm not sure if this is what "feeling down" is supposed to feel like or if it's a swing toward depression.

You are so overdue for some hypo... I think I'm maybe going into one maybe hoping.
What about your plans to go to visit your friend in Cali? Anything further happen with that?

Checkout events at your local library.

Checkout events at your local community center.

Stop by Starbucks

Too true!!!!! Good advice for us all.
Try to do 1 constructive thing a day and then reward yourself

I could not help but smile at the irony, when I read the headline for this post....exactly what I have been living like...... gonna be interesting to see youre posts...!

It's Friday.

Son moved out last Saturday and still haven't spoken to him or seen him. Just a couple of texts asking for something of me. (Can I bring laundry over? No! Your apartment is full of roaches and I don't want them infesting my house. Can I store a piece of furniture in your garage to sell on Craigslist? No! I don't want Craigslist people coming to my house.)

I don't have a job (fired around Thanksgiving) so I don't have to get up, get ready, and then be somewhere by 8:00 a.m. When my alarm goes off, I tend to lie there for a little while, staring into space. Or I think, "I don't have to get up. I can stay right here as long as I want." Or I put an hour on the timer of my phone and close my eyes.

Yesterday I forced myself to meet people for lunch.

Last night I got a call that a relative I haven't seen for over a year is in town and wants to have lunch or dinner today. I thought, "Crap! I don't want to get up, shower, put myself together, meet this person, and make small talk. It will cut into my wallowing time."

One of my very few social events consists of meeting a small group of people on Friday nights for dinner at someone's house. Lately, it's all I can do to store up energy through the week to be able to attend this dinner.

I should be in the shower right now, getting ready to meet the relative for lunch.

Does anyone else out there lie in bed in the morning, dreading the day, wondering how you'll fill the hours, instead of thinking today is a gift and you should jump out of bed and make the most of it?

I've spent thousands of dollars on courses and webinars and books, and flown many miles to attend live conferences and workshops to learn about how to have a positive mindset, set goals, do what you're meant to do instead of doing a job, find your purpose in the world, live your purpose, etc., yet I dread getting out of bed.

Unless I'm hypomanic, which has not been the case for many months, and I really miss it. I'm a creative person and my work requires creativity. I need that shot of hypo.

I can totally understand not being able to go out of the house, and needing that shot of energy and motivation. over time, though.... it all will pass and you will find your new rhythm around the house. change is hard! it throws everything off and leaves us feeling lost.

The good news:

• Son texted me late Friday night and asked if we can have lunch together Sunday. So I'm looking forward to that.

The bad news:

• Son came by close to midnight Friday to get something that he left behind. It was the first time I had seen him since the previous Saturday when he moved out. The items he forgot and came back to retrieve? Several bottles of booze. I got a hug out of the deal. He was only here for 5 minutes at the maximum.
• I just spent the evening with friends and, while we had a few laughs and superficial conversation, I returned to an empty house and empty life.
• I'm edging back toward sleeping most of the day and night.

Purple Daisy , I feel the same. At least you took yourself to the cinema, I couldn't do that. I am starting to step out again, taking short walks to the shop ten minutes away. I'm so weak, just through spending a whole year in bed. Walking to the shop, having to stop on the way back and catch my breath, that's scary.
The days are long and lonely. The only thing to do is neglected housework. At least I have been getting up, showered and dressed !
I too long for the things you mentioned. Lonliness is awful, so many people feel it. We can talk on here and support each other.

make a collage
Feed some birds
watch an old movie
Dance will you do dishes

Breathe ...

Try and go to the gym
train jiu jitsu
Read online

Focus on the fact HE texted you about wanting to have lunch.. That is a HUGE thing..

Purple daisy, I am sorry you are having a hard time. I felt the exact same way when I didn't have a job. I am an artist, so I know how it is hard to find your creativity when in a funk. A lot of times I cannot even work due to agitation, depression, etc. I have been taking abilify for about 5 days and trying to get used to that. I hope that you start to feel better soon. If it makes you feel better, at least you have a son! and he wants to have lunch. I don't have a family, husband, kids, etc. just me and my labrador.

How was your lunch with him? Did he show up alone or with the gf?

Good visit. A couple of hours. Had some conversation this time, which was good. The last few months of son living at my house did not involve much conversation, even when we made appointments to go have dinner or coffee together.

Just son. No girlfriend with us today. That was nice. I wanted to visit with him, not her.

I tried my best to keep from being pathetic. I did tell him I'm lonely and he can't ignore me all week except for two or three texts asking me for something.

And then he was gone.

I'm back to being by myself with the pets and the Internet.

He asked if we can have lunch next weekend and I said yes, that would be nice, etc.

I think it will help me live through the week knowing I'll get to see him next weekend. I had to live through this first week having no idea when I would see him again (since he didn't contact me except for the 2 or 3 texts asking for something), and then the invitation to have lunch today came late in the week.

So, yeah, knowing that we'll get together next weekend should help me stay sane. Make the days seem a little less like torture.

Good report!

I'm glad you had a nice lunch with your son.

Today I have felt SO MUCH better.

Haven't hit a vein of slight hypomania yet, which I keep hoping for so I can get my creativity going.

But late this afternoon I got a whole lot of energy. Maybe it was from the caramel mocha I had at noon.

I got off to a slow start. Once again, when my alarm went off at a somewhat reasonable hour for rising, I felt groggy and set my phone to go off an hour later.

By the time the hour rolled around, I felt like getting up. Yay! Usually, I lay there wondering why the hell I'm even alive.

It was about 10:00 a.m. by the time I got out of bed. I ran a few errands and enjoyed the unseasonable warmth and sunshine. Winter always brings me down, but we've had so much sun this time, which is great.

It's almost 9:30 p.m. and I have been doing some things that I NEVER do -- sweeping, dusting, moving furniture. Also sorting through a bunch of clutter.

Just hope I don't wear myself out to the point where I wake up in the morning and feel lousy or sore.

I think part of the reason I felt better today is because I made a commitment to a friend to fly to a seminar in a couple of months. We have flown to other events together and I love doing this. Love to fly. Love the workshops and seminars with motivational people and business information. Love to meet new people at these events. When I'm at these events, I'm suddenly an extrovert, which is totally not like me.

So glad you had a nice lunch with him, and that you've got an energy boost, thanks god!!! I think I'll try the mocha at noon tomorrow lol.