do we ever get symptom free?

How is your abilify helping you? and does it make you tired?

Have you actually read everything I said? Or just skimmed over it? I think if you re-read what I said you'll see that I said everybody is different, and not once did I say that medication helps everybody. Not at all.

I am definitely not a fan of BigPharma. I detest taking meds. And I've been one of the folks who has been screwed over by meds over the years. I just blithely went along with whatever the pdocs recommended, being scared out of my wits.

Finally a pdoc admitted that I was being "overmedicated." You think? I was keeping the pharmacy in business with taking two anti-psychotics, three anti-depressants, a mood stabilizer, and anti-anxiety medication, and I don't even remember now what else I took. Most everything but Lithium over the years.

Now I feel like my brain is fried. I honestly think part of the reason is the long-term effects of meds.

So, now I take as little as I can. I wish I could not take anything. As I mentioned earlier, I am down to three--one mood stabilizer, an anti-depressant, and an anti-anxiety med. And I speak up at my pdoc's office. After all, it's my brain and body. The last time I was hospitalized, I refused to go on the med they wanted me to go on. I had taken it for years. Then I started having all sorts of muscular problems--could hardly even walk, had facial tics, etc. My primary care doc was the one who guessed it was the Lamictal, and that I had had a toxic dose by taking it for so long. (Guess what? It builds up in the body.) They knew that, but they said they wanted to try me on it again. Over MY dead body, I thought. And I refused.

I am a big believer in therapy, as I mentioned before.

We do need to remember that there is a gradation of bipolar disorder--from relatively mild to very extreme. Some of us cycle in- frequently, some very frequently, some Bipolar I, some II, etc.

We have to see what works for us as individuals. Some of us might be "symptom-free," I think, at least for awhile.

Let's remember we are discussing this topic as consumers. None of us are experts. We are speaking from our own observations and experiences. So it doesn't help for us to jump on each other for our opinions.

A gentle reminder to all of you that arguing between yourselves about meds is taking this thread off topic.

Everyone has their own experience and thoughts about meds and everyone should be respected for their experiences and thoughts. No one has to agree with everyone, but posting disrespectfully to one another to drive home your personal opinion is against our Community Guidelines. Members' decisions to take meds or not take meds is very personal and it is neither right or wrong.

Please keep your posting within the guidelines of being supportive, even if you disagree with another member.

With Care,

sabby

I was commenting here about therapist and psychiatrists and the info they give or do not give and the picture of our future they often paint. I certainly was not making it about meds or no meds but replying to what some people said their pdocs or T's had told them which seemed to be a bit of a hope robber.

That is the only thing I was concerned about. Because I have been in the position of being told by my health care professionals that as a bipolar 1 patient with so much psychosis and rapid cycling that I pretty much had a doomed future ahead of me and the most I should hope for was a small break here and there. I bought it hook line and sinker and that was more damaging to my life and wellness than I think they realize. I don't want people to feel like there is no hope of a better life, or no hope of becoming relativily symptom free.

I am on a fair amount of meds and wish I could manage this thing without them, but a little time and experience have proven that I can't (and shouldn't) try it again. I've had several short periods of stability---the most recent one lasted just over a month---and I'm optimistic that they'll start getting longer and longer as my brain adjusts to all of this...the diagnosis, the meds, the therapy, the way my life has changed in the past year.....yes, all of it.

But that's just me. This is such an individualized illness, no one medication or cocktail works for everyone....that's why there are so many. And there are those few who manage their bipolar just fine without any meds at all (although I'm damned if I know how y'all do it). I think therapy is a must, even if we are on meds, because we need those coping and life skills in order to co-exist with this disorder. But again, everyone is different and there's no single "right" way to treat it.

I'm back on. It's monday! wow, I didn't mean for this to go the direction that it went.

I think that for me, I would absolutely love to stay on the meds, AND find that knowledge and strength that Anika, Dragon and Venus have found! Best of both worlds, ya know.

the meds really do help me. Relief is the word that I would use. but even then, it seems that a lot of effort has to go into it. I'm currently diving into physically healthy activities hoping that running again and stopping smoking will make the difference. I'll even meditate if that will help. Take Yoga classes, whatever it takes.

but I think that for a lot of us, and including me a lot of times, it seems so hopeless. like meds are the only thing that has a chance of helping us. I feel this way cuz I've been this way since being nine years old, and when I think back, it feels hopeless. it's only when I can let it go that I see some hope.

I can understand completely where R.B. is coming from. But I can also see that light at the end of the tunnel where others are coming from.

Lets try to show understanding for one another! We are all suffering from this. All we can do is try and listen and try to learn really.

I meant try....... and listen......... and try to learn lol

Keep up the running. Trust me.

My"eccentric" person does not disappear when my episodes of mania or depression go away. The symptom free ideal is never reached in my case. I have struggled for a huge portion of my life to fit in with "normal" people. It doesn't stick. I am not an unbearable person either. I do like and love myself but I do loath this demon that I struggle with.

I also struggle with finding the right treatments be it no meds or yes meds. I really believe that being bipolar sets us apart from those who don't struggle with MI. We fight everyday to survive, we have the courage to rise up again from something that can be so vicious and cruel and take us to the point of being a victim of it. We keep trying over and over with the resources available, anything and everything to fight for our lives or our loved ones,

I do have much sorrow for those who have ended themselves because of such a relentless illness. I always hope that those who are suffering always have access to treatments available and the understanding and support needed.

It doesn't settle well with me seeing those at odds with each other on an issue that should of which be supportive.

I dont think any one was really at odds with each other per say, it is a discustion that brings many different view points and disagrement can still be respectful. People should be allowed to disagree and can remain respectful about it. Supportive is not just saying yes I agree and support that especially if it seems like something that can bring more harm than good. We all see these issues differently, I think that is ok.

It would be very boring this way, too.

Yeah, that is my problem too. I think that telling people at bad point in their life it's life time of suckage ahead... is criminal. And to tell them they have to count on meds to relieve it... and if the meds don't work there's more meds or ETC (this is what I read on too many blogs and communities. And some of the people FLIP when mentioning they can do a lot for themselves. They say it implies "I am not doing enough" and "it's my fault". So you have illusion of "not my fault"... and no future.

Learned helplessness. I think that's what often ruins life, more than the disorder itself. It's not really matter of severity... not 100%. What matters is what *you* do. And one has to find it themselves. So that is why I am bit when I hear people say "doctor told me...". Because your doctor doesn't live in your skin... and cannot make decisions for you.

..this kinda goes back to and adds on...with the spirituality Dan..

to me?...the meds are like fitting 'off road' tyres onto the very cool racing wheels of a sportscar...

knowing full well the road is rough as hell!...if there is even a road likely most of the time there is no road on the map on the head up display it's all jungle desert moonscape.

so maybe they help? the meds...but I'm gonna drive there anyway...off the road off the planet...and I sometimes wonder the meds make me feel safer than I should be?...whatever!

...this is how I see it...

"the illness is tight ...the world is loose...reality is loose...it bends after a while

once the survival instinct has been proven reliable?...then the world becomes flexible...the symptoms navigate their own reality and to mess with this just delays the inevitable ...

cos it's no longer about living or dying...

it's about trusting we aint' faulty

...and neither is life

faulty...unless?

we both you me us and it likewise are too