I used to post on here. Anyway I'm really struggling. 3 days ago I found out that my pdoc is a fraud and did some crazy stuff and HOPEFULLY loses his license. Well I swear I have the worst luck. I have a hard time trusting and especially ppl in positions of authority.

I am all over the place with my moods. I'm afraid that I will end up on antipsychotics again. Right now I take 200 mgs, zoloft, 50mgs doxepin (for sleep), just started lamictal and 2mgs lorazepam at night as well.

I'm afraid that my general practitioner will not want to prescribe the lorazepam. Then I will have to go to the state clinic and they just med you up....I'm not willing to lose my personality and feel like a numbed out zombie.

I fee so scared and my family is just sooooo cold. My mother was my rock but unfortunately she passed away 6 yrs ago. I'm really struggling with racing thoughts, flashbacks etc ptsd symptoms. Also I think I may be in a mixed state crying one minute angry the next.

Any insight would be appreciated.
Thanks

[Victoria'smom]

I would go to the clinic until you find a new pdoc and try to work with clinic pdoc to have as little meds as possible. Even state pdoc's work for you so don't be stressed about telling pdoc what you need ie. Meds but also your personality and not zombiefied.

Thanks for the response. What I'm afraid of is they will want to take me off of the doxepin. They refused to give it to me when I went to the state clinic last time and put me on 200 mgs seroquel for sleep. I gained 50 lbs.

I feel there is a trend in psychiatry right now about antidepressants. If you look at the research, yes there's a chance you can go into a hyomania or mania but a small chance. They want to give you antipsychotics and those make me get a horrible feeling of dread. Then they give you congentin for the side effects. I'm just scared I hate antipsychotics. Too many side effects.

[venusss]

You need to advocate for yourself. LOud. YOu know how you react to these drugs. It's your mind, your sanity, your body. Search for doc that shall respect that.

Thank you. I needed to hear that. I'm gonna try and sleep. So flipping' stressed.

[TheDragon]

Try to gently take care of your PTSD. It's a bit of an easier issue to tackle short term when there's so much going on, and it'll be a lot easier to think and focus without flashbacks and other flaring PTSD symptoms. Once you manage that, the ups and downs and craziness won't be as bad. Good luck.

[Odee]

The impression that I have gotten in regards to bipolar and antidepressants is that you should be on a mood stabilizer as well.



I love your avatar.

[Victoria'smom]

I would tell them upfront that you are not willing to take an AP.

Thank you all for your responses. Man ill tell you it SUCKS having both. It is like they feed off each other.

Yes it is true that you should be on a mood stabalizer when you take an antidepressant. I agree, and I just started the lamictal. I have tried depakote, went well for 6 months then hair started falling out by the handfuls. Tried nuerontin and developed weird cystic acne. So now the lamictal.

It is so frustrating to once again have a corrupt doc. The stuff this man was doing is just beyond sick. It is on our state licencing site, the charges. It completely freaked me out.

Just woke up and am feeling that horrible anxiety. Anyway I was in denial about being bipolar for a long time. Then I didn't eat or sleep for 5 days and went into a psychosis. Ended up in the hospital.

It is so comforting to know that you guys understand all this. My family sure doesn't. One of my sister's LIKED it when I was zombiefied. She herself is very cold and non emotional, so she liked it when I was numbed out of my mind b/c then I'm like her, yippy!!!!

Thx. All that responded. Btw I'm on a Kindle major pain to post with.

I love my avatar too! Thanks.

Well I have calmed down. Do you guys think the lamictal could be working? I'm on the 5th day. 25 mgs. I just need to remember that yes it SUCKS having ptsd and bipolar, but it's what I have.

I'm still not eating like I should. See my general practitioner Monday. Then will have more of an idea what to do.

I have a 17 yr old that is driving me crazy though. Anyway....

[Victoria'smom]

Lamictal is the only MS that has worked for me. If it quits the only option I have left is lithium. My AD makes me hungry. If you can force yourself to eat until you start your AD?

[newtus]

whats MS?

[BlueInanna]

Mood stabilizer

[newtus]

oh right thank you blue

I'm on 200 mgs zoloft. I was able to eat some today. I'm feeling calmer. Just overwhelmed now....single mom kinda used of being overwhelmed.

I really need to get my house cleaned, I'll get to it tomorrow.

Me too miguels mom, I think my only other ms option would be lithium. I tried topamax and once again horrible side effects. I think I must be sensitive to psych meds or something.

Hi I'm new to this forum on bipolar. Your story hits a note with me though. I too am on antianxiety meds, was on lorazepam for 20 years and switched to Diazepam to try to come off of it. Long time ago I was hospitalized and the lorazepam was stopped very quickly (tapered over 3 days) and it triggered a manic episode. I struggled to find a gp who would give it to me. What was your psychiatrist doing that you think was crazy? Just curious. I was also on paxil before and during my hospital stay and it did not help my anxiety. Wishing you the best.

[ellipsisdream]

I go to a state funded clinic, and have been very fortunate to have pdocs that have worked with me and allowed me to be an active partner in my own care. It is important to step up and advocate for your needs- you know yourself best. Can you get a copy of your records for the transition to show what has and has not worked for you to help?

As for the Lamictal, I am not sure if it starts working that quickly or not. I can tell you it has been a good drug for me, with few side effects. I have been taking it for four years.

I hope things get easier for you with all of this soon.

Kelly, it's on our state licensing site, what he did. I don't want to get into all of it, it will get me too upset. But, he attributed to 3 deaths. 2 overdosed and one committed suicide. He was over prescibing meds, I mean like crazy amounts of all kinds of meds he is only a psych arnp he should only be prescribing psych meds. One of the patients he was prescribing for was living with him. Put it this way they kept the patients anonymous but there were patients A-T. He tried to give me meds I don't need. So my mind just goes crazy with it. Why was he doing that? What was hhe getting in return? I'm gonna stop cause I dont know and my mind thinks.....it just gets carried away. I know that this may not seem like anything to get THAT upset about, but I've had people in positions of authority sexually abuse me. Like I said my mind just goes crazy with what was he doing that for? And I always knew something wasn't right about the situation, but I was afraid of going back to the state clinic. I wanted to get off some of the meds I was on.

The pharmacists here in town have been complaining about it for yrs I guess.

Yeah I hope I will be able to stay on the lorazepam.

Thanks ellipsis hope I got that right.