[venusss]

I know I am blessed for what I have, but gaaaah, I wish I had less stress.

Looking for place to live (and most of places in Prague look like revenge of lower classes). Also... silly as it sounds... as much as I love Prague... I am bit afraid of her... she is intense and it will be interesting to live with all the history. And people.

Job hunting. I need self-confidence ASAP. ANd please please, I will be happy with a job of receptionist in some small cosy hotel. No need to save world for now (I would save people from tourist traps). Since I failed hypocricy 101, I have hard time pretending I wanna do most of the jobs.... and i cannot write "make up costs money" in CV.
Okay, enough joking... I am feeling desperate... and worthless.

And meanwhile I sit home, in small village, with cats and mom and it's driving me bit cray-cray. I used to love this place when grandparents were alive... but now it's so... empty. Strange. We so should get rid/sell some old stuff... but neither me or my mom want to dig through past.

whine, moan, whine, very white whine.

[AeonDM]

"I need self-confidence ASAP."

Here you go.

"Make do with what you have got. They are more than sufficient to overcome almost all obstacles."
-ChristianDM

[TheDragon]

Stay focused on moving forward. Make a list of what you need to get done, and actively pursue it. It's all a bit overwhelming at times, which is okay. Just step back whenever you need it, take a small break, and get back into it.

You know what I've always said, self-confidence is earnt, and by the end of this, once you achieve your goals you'll feel a lot better. In the mean time though, do remember your strengths and what makes you unique as a person. You may not remotely realize how valuable these little bits of you are, which add up to a very special Venus. Good special mind you, not "I'm sorry she's trying to kidnap your cat again," kind of special. Most days anyways.

This is all a test of your patience and your willingness to move forward. I have faith in you, even when you sometimes lose it in yourself or the world. Ask for help if you need it, and just remember, you can do it all and it will be worth it.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”
― Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

[AeonDM]

Again...

"I have gone through this before. I'll do this better this time because I can."
-ChristianDM

[AeonDM]

And again...

"I look at life and laughed. I have done it yesterday. I am doing it now. I will do it tomorrow, even better!"
-ChristianDM

[faerie_moon_x]

I hate job hunting. It's not any fun at all.

I can imagine it would be scary to live in a big city alone. I don't know Praug since I've never been there, but I know it's a big city. I think it would be scary to be alone in any big city. Paris, New York, London.... just how I think, though. So, that seems normal to be nervous about it.

I think you'll find a job. Like you said, a job for now to buy make up and pay bills. Just keep trying everywhere. Eventually you'll find someone who decides to hire the interesting person sitting across from them.

[venusss]

Good special mind you, not "I'm sorry she's trying to kidnap your cat again," kind of special. Most days anyways.

But I don't kidnap cats. Most days anyways


"I look at life and laughed. I have done it yesterday. I am doing it now. I will do it tomorrow, even better!"

I do laugh at life. Often I am afraid I am trolling on it... but how else to get through?


I can imagine it would be scary to live in a big city alone. I don't know Praug since I've never been there, but I know it's a big city. I think it would be scary to be alone in any big city. Paris, New York, London.... just how I think, though. So, that seems normal to be nervous about it.

It's not even the sheer size though... Although it IS a metropolis (cosmopolitan. Decadent. wonderful). BUt it's more about the history. The feel. The intensity... the Prague-essness. I am sensitive to this kind of stuff... but where else can chick with my education go? Unless I decide to go as humanitarian to Syria... and well, I need more experience for that. Yes, I looked it up.

You just got done with defending your thesis, right? I think so anyways....
That has to be exhausting! all the work that went into that, all of the mental strain.

Maybe you deserve a break now. a break before charging ahead in life.

just a thought... we all deserve a break sometimes. And you definately earned it! Please give YOURSELF a break. just some time to recupperate before taking on the world again!

by the way...

defending your thesis is when you get your doctorate, right?

so does that mean you are DR. Venushalley?

[venusss]

nah, just Master's.

so Mgr. VenusHalley

Still, a master's is no small feat! be proud!

[Clinte89]

Hang in there its difficult to do all that when the stress can be so rough. You just have to keep walking through the thick mud to make it to your destination. Best of luck to you .

[venusss]

And oh, my family... and people in general. I can't seem to stand them in bigger than small doses. Their focus on money ("you cousin is a social worker and she makes little money! other one was exotic dancer in Mexico and she made more money..."), in some of them lack of realization the socio-political-cultural climate changed few times since the good old days (they lived through 40 years of communism. Some of them remember Hitler's protectorate and "the crisis". What good old days?)...
I don't hate my family. That is the problem. I have to be NICE to them and not argue too much...

I guess I'll just move down to Rome and work for one of the cat sanctuaries and plant figs.

(actually, this is why I apply left and right for every position of hotel receptionist I come across. Because people are NICE (or at least nicer) when they are on vacation. Or at least more honest... because I can't seem to deal with everyday life. I want it pretty... but than again, it's not responsible. I studied from tax payer's money, so I should use my education for public good... though I don't know how to be honest).

and my I am rambling. I am having very sad bout of manicky episode, I guess.

[moremi]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

I know I am blessed for what I have, but gaaaah, I wish I had less stress.

Looking for place to live (and most of places in Prague look like revenge of lower classes). Also... silly as it sounds... as much as I love Prague... I am bit afraid of her... she is intense and it will be interesting to live with all the history. And people.

Job hunting. I need self-confidence ASAP. ANd please please, I will be happy with a job of receptionist in some small cosy hotel. No need to save world for now (I would save people from tourist traps). Since I failed hypocricy 101, I have hard time pretending I wanna do most of the jobs.... and i cannot write "make up costs money" in CV.
Okay, enough joking... I am feeling desperate... and worthless.

And meanwhile I sit home, in small village, with cats and mom and it's driving me bit cray-cray. I used to love this place when grandparents were alive... but now it's so... empty. Strange. We so should get rid/sell some old stuff... but neither me or my mom want to dig through past.

whine, moan, whine, very white whine.

You my dear are not desperate or worthless, from what i know of you from getting to know you on PC you are strong and independent. One who likes to take the world on face on and doesnt back down.You have your beliefs and you stick to them no matter what. It makes you a true person true to yourself. It sounds like you need to get out of this small town and find yourself again.