[Trippin2.0]

Well I seem to be whining alot these days, but its valid stuff, and those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter! Right?

My ex SIL and spoiltbrat, screamingfits, tantrum - throwing, I don't respond to the word "no" nephew is moving in with us indefinitly...

Yes! The very ones who had me ripping out my hair daydreaming of arson when they stayed for 2 weeks!

So I spent all of lastnight crying because my safe space is about to be invaded by 2 very inconvenient
aliens, and my mother said I'm SELF-CENTRED and CLEARLY I have NEVER learned to put myself in someone else's shoes! no mum, nobody bothers to try on my shoes... whatevz

So I'm not too thrilled at this moment, but have come up with an idea to sort of ease my burden? I'm going to pack late daddy's left over clothing items neatly in 1 side of his cupboard, then tell mum she is free to welcome Mandy into HER private space / safe haven!

My mom will think it's downright dirty of me, but as usual, nobody asked ME if I mind sharing room and cupboard space, and I MIND.
This time mum will face the consequences of her actions, NOT ME

OK. Rant over, just stressed out and not really posty, so I wanted you guys to know why

((((trippin))))))

[faerie_moon_x]

Oh no!!!!

I am right there with you, Trippin.

I swear, we really are sisters of the soul or something. I have the same problem! We're never going to get rid of my MIL. She's with us forever! And so my husband is relinquishing our office for her to have her own room, and moving into our bedroom, which is fine... but then puts me back out into the living room... (because our room is too small for everything.) Which then puts me back out into the same space as his uncle! Too many people, too few rooms!

I feel your misery! I agree if your mom is offering this person to stay, she needs to make space for her. And no, it's not self-centered to want some privacy and a place to feel safe and decompress.

We have to keep ourselves strong by challenging negativity tossed at us, Trippin. Your mom has some real problems with weak ego that she is projecting onto you. Let her know you won't permit it to happen by letting her know that how she sees others is more a revelation of who she is in herself than who you are; that might awaken her to her behavior.

Take care; keep posting as you need to vent. You're one strong person. You've got everything, in my view: the intelligence, the awareness, the strength, the courage, and the ability to make the changes needed in your life.

Try not to let it get to you, though I know it's very difficult to keep from having it
be bothersome.

Feel better soon.

[unaluna]

Well it's her two grandchildren is probably how she sees it. But I agree, your SIL needs some schooling. Rules, you guys need house rules. She is out of control.

[venusss]

You have right to your own space and life.

[~Christina]

Yes they can go living in your Mom's room. Stand your ground! You have every reason to feel this way. You need your space!

[BlackPup]

trippin, that sucks.... hope that moving them into your moms space works out.

[Trippin2.0]

Mum wasn't too happy with my suggestion, even though I was very dipolamtic and thoughtful and mentioned how aweful it would be for them to live out of suitcases indefinitly.... Oh well too bad, she made her bed, not mine!

Thanks so much for the endless support you guys have been providing, besides being mentally exhausted, I think the stress is subsiding, probably has to do with taking charge, me being the control freak that I am and tailspinning whenever someone else has my reins does take its toll at times....

Love you guys muchness

[faerie_moon_x]

Oh well, I see now your mom maybe understands a bit more when you put the shoe on the other foot.... Not so selfish now, are you? I'm glad you stood up for yourself, sis! Proud of you!

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Oh well, I see now your mom maybe understands a bit more when you put the shoe on the other foot.... Not so selfish now, are you? I'm glad you stood up for yourself, sis! Proud of you!

Thank you thank you sis
I'm glad I stood up too, and I will continue standing as diplomatically as I can, even when my feet hurt!!

Just waiting for mom's reasoning behind why I should share my space, I know its coming soon and will probably present itself in her hysterically dissapointed tone... Can't wait to ask why I'm deemed "selfish" and she isn't when the circumstances are identical...

[~Christina]

Being selfish is ok . Is there a reason why these people can not sleep on the living room floor?
Don't let them invade your space again, it's yours you need it.

[Trippin2.0]

Oh they will sleep on the living room floor, but they displace me with all their stuff in my room, hog my cupboard space, rearrange things in my room, take unauthorized ILL-timed naps sprawled across my bed, hide my ashtray, hog my computer/music, eat up my food, drink half a days worth of milk for breakfast, use UP my beauty products AND run up my electricity bill!

Oh yes and she sees nothing wrong with pretending my room is hers while I'm at work, so I have to shoo them out when I get home so I can unwind.... ugh, really???

So really, where they sleep are the least of my worries, buuut, as long as mum knows I aint being accommodating, I aint gonna stress!

[~Christina]

wtf ? why how where are people like this raised? in a cave? I just can not understand how people can just use other peoples things and do whatever they want. I am not a violent person, but I think I would become one if I had to deal with this nonsense.Ugh

I don't know if it is possible but you need a lock on your door that needs a key to get in.

Trippin I am so sorry you have this kinda of BS in your life in your home, where you pay for everything .

[Trippin2.0]

yeah, worst is, I have no say about it, it was decreed that I am financially responsible for this house!

Idk if she comes from a cave or what, but that's exactly what she's like, so when I say 'invade' I'm not kidding!

I cant lock my room because Jordan's wardrobe is here, but I am trying to figure out where to hide my stuff so that I don't unexpectedly run out of personal products OVERNIGHT again!....

[BlueInanna]

Yes, you have the stress of being the bread winner, you have the right to keep your room off limits to anyone other than you and Jordan!!!!!! You need to keep your sanity as much as possible if they want to keep being financially supported by you!!!

And if moms says well I supported you your whole life, say ok yes and thank you, but I'm talking about now.

You need your private space to be respected. I really hope they stay the hell out of your room!!!! It would drive me nuts.

[Trippin2.0]

thanks blue pretty sure they don't get how this situation endangers my sanity, but you said it ever so eloquently, might just have to quote you

[r3ap3rofall]

u must do wht u think is best

[~Christina]

I say to hell with it... Hide your stuff and put mouse traps around.. a few snapped fingers might prove your point

You are a much better person than me, I would have started WWIII over it

[Trippin2.0]

LMAO at the mouse traps!!!

Christina THANK YOU for validating that it is WW3 worthy!

I'm not a better person, just scared to death of Jordan thinkng her mom's a monster, a fact which snaps a leash on me pretty quickly. Not always 100% effective, buuuut it does save us some damage

[~Christina]

Ohhhhh Sis

Jordan would never think that of you. I am certain she is able to look at this situation and know its not right and not fair. Kids are tricky lil people that way, they always know more than we think they do. Cut yourself a break... You are handling way too much on your tiny shoulders, way more than you should have to

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so sorry. You need your space to keep your sanity. Can you keep your stuff in a lock box?

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm so sorry. You need your space to keep your sanity. Can you keep your stuff in a lock box?

Thank you, that is certainly doable! Best I go scour the shops soon to see if I can find one. Been meaning to get a large container/box, but didn't know for what, they're just o damn pretty

Now I know for what Hope I find one with a lock!

[Trippin2.0]

So she arrives tomorrow, apparantly her landlord is the devil...

I feel like such a bad person, on one hand I'm dreading this woman coming to stay, even though the alternate is a homeless nephew.

On the other, Jordan's sperm donor shows up 3 yrs later high as a kite on lord knows what mix he smokes these days, asking to spend time with her??? wtf dude, you dont just get to be a dad when the mood hits!

I feel bad about the second because Jo asked me to decide for her and I was honest. Again me being honest with a 9y.o....

Told her he's very immature, doesn't fathom responsiblity or consistancy or putting someone else ahead of himself. I said he'd reel her in, make her feel special and loved, and then he'd get bored and spit her out, rinse repeat cycle...

I'm not even making it up. Its how he is with everything, work, love, relationships, its his nature...

I told her it would pain me to see her heartbroken again so young, that if its really up to me, she wait until she's older to establish a relationship with him when she can understand(?) and better handle the inevitable dissapointment that lies in his wake...

Oh and get this!
He says he stayed away from her for 3yrs because I dumped him, he couldn't handle seeing me!

Yes its my fault, not the fact that he is spineless!

and now I feel like a meanie. I dont want mandy here, and I dont want Jermain scarring my daughter with his drugs and thoughtlessness... but have I a right to be so mean

Gawd I just wanna bawl had a really stressful day at work, I'm sure its just that seeping out via personal issue....

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

So she arrives tomorrow, apparantly her landlord is the devil...

I feel like such a bad person, on one hand I'm dreading this woman coming to stay, even though the alternate is a homeless nephew

Gawd I just wanna bawl had a really stressful day at work, I'm sure its just that seeping out via personal issue....

guess I should go put on this...