[Victoria'smom]

Tomorrow (Wednesday) I have therapy. I really don't want to go. I don't think I'm paranoid but really don't see the point. I can't really hold a conversion. The only good thing is t gets a lot of information out of me. I hate when T & pdoc are in the same building! I don't want to be tore down, I known what comes next. I want to be happy until then. I'm pretty sure t will see me get mad at my husband for talking to slow and being long winded. I know I have to go but I want to at least move my pdoc appointment back. 3+ months is not long enough! I'm rational now why take it away when it's not harming anyone. I know it'll take awhile to get to a new therapeutic dose. I guess I just hate them in the same building and am complaining. Sorry for my ramble. Any words of encouragement or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I may be worried that T will over react to my resent thoughts and activities.

[Speed3]

I don't understand all that is going on. But, because of the money I have canceled sessions when I just did not feel like taking. I don't know if it was always the best thing for my mental health.

I always ended up rescheduling when I was more able to talk and receive.

If you are in a bad spot and your safety is in question, I think you should try to
go and do the best you can.

Take care of yourself above all.

[faerie_moon_x]

Maybe it is important for T to see you when you can't hold a conversation. I know that sounds weird, but sometimes I think we try to hide exactly how we're doing. But, maybe if someone sees what's really going on, then we get the help we actually need from it. If they always see us when we're okay, then we only receive a lesser version and maybe not exactly what will heal us.

It's just an idea.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I do hope you start feeling better.

[Moose72]

I'm seein t am pdoc in the same session soon. Gah! There's a first.

i think you'll be fine once you are their

just think of us- all rooting for you

(((((hugs))))

[bluemountains]

I think you will feel better after the session, I understand the apprehension, though. This is another step in the right direction!
Bluemountains

[Victoria'smom]

At this point I can't cancel or I would. T's seen me like this before **** worse then this. The idea of having a 'serious' conversation like this just is not going to happen. I try my hardest to schedule pdoc / T on days the others not there but lately T wants to see me days that they are both there. I guess I'll have to ask if she's meaning to doing that. She's good about making me comfortable once I get there. I guess I have to just wait and see.

[BlueInanna]

Does DH have to go with you? Would that be any relief if he didn't go so you don't worry about getting annoyed with him?

[roads]

I'm thinking of you ...
Roadie

[Victoria'smom]

He has to drive me and I know it's not him it's me over reacting to small things..... like him breathing So at the very least T will have warning. Hopefully I'll sleep a little and be in a much better mood.

good luck.

((((hugs)))))

[Victoria'smom]

My husband had a dream that T canceled. So now T knows how much I dislike going to therapy. I was actually shaking today. Well, I'm home. We talked about the crisis center and that she's wouldn't be very good T if she didn't say what she thought. T suggested a AP PRN and sent a message to pdoc (I have no idea about what.) My pdoc appointment was moved to this Friday. It really was a lot less threatening then I expected. I'm less concerned seeing pdoc ever then I am seeing my T.

[BlueInanna]

I'm so glad you made it through today and to the appointment

[~Christina]

Glad you made it.. Hope your feeling okay tonight