[Olivereindeer]

I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder/panic attacks last Oct (also have had this twice before in my life) and commenced on an SSRI.
The SSRI initially was increased and I ended up having episoded of agitation, motor restlessness, constant talking and incessant rapid thinking. After reducing the dose this got better. So, now my anxiety is at a level I can cope with but I seem to have this profound sense of depression (like it bites me out of the blue) and I get this mixed agitation/elation/depression feeling and have trouble concentrating and thinking so fast. I almost feel such a sense of elation that it is bittersweet. I don't act out any manic behaviours (spending, sex, etc). I cant sleep as I cant stop thinking in my sleep and have vivid and lucid dreaming. I get so tired. I also have days when I can get so much done, go out with friends, study, have more energy and make plans..then maybe the next day or the week later I am cast with inertia, feelings of depression, guilt, worthlessness, low self esteem and like I just cant go out or see friends etc. My therapist who knows me so well is now considering I may have some BP happening. Has anyone else had an experience like this? I feel so faulty and so tired of the constant ruminating and thinking all the time. I wonder if the SSRI is exacerbating the mood swings and making me worse. It is so hard to describe how I feel - it is not a definite black and white mood issue as it is so confusing and mixed up with extreme feelings.
I am going to see a psychiatrist soon. My therapist feels Avanza may be more appropriate for me.

It definitely sounds like you could have bipolar & be in a mixed state where you have a combo of mania & depression. That's what I was in when I was diagnosed--lots of agitation & depression. I was misdiagnosed for over 30 yrs. (I was 48 when I was diagnosed with bp--52 now) with unipolar depression! The anti-depressants would send me into a hypo manic stage that just plain felt good so I thought the AD's were working, then after about 6 weeks or so, I'd crash , fall into another deep depression & the doc (I was going to a family physician) would increase the dosage or change me to another AD. This went on for years. My internal medicine doc saw me in a mixed state & sent me to a psychiatrist & that started the long quest (took 1 yr.) to get me on the right meds. Also, do you have bipolar in the family? My mother had it & genetics play a big role in bipolar.

It is good that you recognize your symptoms. Some people can't & then they go on to do destructive things. I went that route with over-drinking, over-spending, rash behaviors, etc. Good luck & let us know how you are doing.

[froggie2]

I think I am in the same spot. I was originally diagnosed with anxiety. Later depression and have had several that seem to work for awhile and then I am depressed again. finnally diagnosed with BP. All last year I seemed to cycle faster and faster . I was on Celexa and Serequel. Then I found out I shouldn't have the two together. I was getting worse and worse and my docotr wouldn't listen to what was happening but just get kept wanting to increase the serequel .I have Diabetes in my family and I am borderline althought my doctor thinks I might have a transient type hard to catch. I have been careful all my life and suddenly I am craving sweets and carbs like crazy and gaining a ton of weight. I didn't feel supported or helped and have been trying to fiquire out if I should change docs. i started to wean myself off Celexa first ( the rapid cyclying stopped) and then off the Serequel . I took three months and finished the end of april. I am tryng to eat healthy , take omega 3 's 2x a day. but i am having a lot of depression. Hearing that some of you have taken such a long time to get stabilised gives me hope. I just don't feel safe with my doc anymore. I loved my high days. I got so much done now its just trying to get through another day. When that elusive moment of calm and happiness comes again I get hopeful once more.

I would definitely find another doc who will listen to you. I "fired" one psychiatrist when he wouldn't change me from Depakote to something else. It helped with the agitation (I was in a mixed state), but it did nothing for my depression. He said as long as the radio or tv weren't giving me "special messages", I was ok. And that was never a symptom of mine! Now have found a wonderful doc who really listened & spent a year getting me on the right meds. She calls me one of her "success stories", because I'm doing so well plus I didn't give up. I had hope that when I finally got the correct diagnosis of bp that I could be helped. Also, I made my environment as stress-free as possible, exercised often, started trying to get out of the house when I felt better instead of isolating myself, etc. Support groups also help.

[froggie2]

I will try get another doc. When I mentioned my concerns to my gp he seemed to think she walks on water. I just don't feel safe with her anymore.
I walk my dogs twice a day if possible normally garden, square dance but lately I can't get the energy to start anything other than basics, hygiene, dishes groceries and not much of those. The isolation thing is the worst. I think i stay here because i think if I can't do any work then I shouldn't go play. This morning i think to heck with it all and I'll take my dogs to the lake and sit in the sun . If I'm not here i guess i can't mess the house up. i was always a neat freak and now I seem to trash the house so fast. i wish I could unscrew my head and put it on a shelf for awhile.