Sinking into darkness...

Okay, so... I am usually good with my medication and I've been taking it, but there are sometimes when meds can't really help me. I still get bouts of depression and I'm entering a phase right now.

Today has been horrible, and I've felt the feeling coming on for awhile now, but today... Today really just brought it on. I'm feeling no self worth at all. I'm not suicidal or anything, but... I have found myself thinking about how better off others would be if I wasn't here. Really, I am NOT suicidal. I could never, ever kill myself. I'm scared of death. I really am. I wouldn't ever do anything like that, but that doesn't mean odd thoughts like that don't creep into my mind sometimes.

I'm really feeling like I'm falling apart. I think part of it is that I just have no energy due to my anemia. I can't... I don't have the energy to fight off my emotions anymore, so they've really attacked me. I've been crying on and off all day today, just because I've been feeling so crappy.

I just... Feel like I want to give up and just.... Not do anything anymore. I'm done trying, because anytime I try, it doesn't work out anyways.

However, I think a big part of this is that I'm working and going to school at the same time. It's really stressing me out. I'm losing it faster than before...

I can't handle it. It's too hard for me. I don't know what to do... I have so much I have to pay for, though. I have to buy a new laptop for school and I have to actually pay tuition for school...

I'm actually going to be working 5 days straight next week, which is a lot for me. I'm freaking out. That's a lot of stress for me...

And now, of course, with the other thread I posted about my boss and what she did...

I just... I don't want to try anymore. I just want to stop...

I don't know what to do. I'm really hitting a rut here and fast... I need to do something before I sink even deeper...