[Mr. Radio]

This past Christmas I experienced my first manic episode, at first they told me it was psychosis and I would take 6 months to a year to recover. I feel like I've come out of the psychosis, but I still don't feel back to normal. I talk a lot less then I use to and my personality seems to be missing. I have lost my self-esteem and confidence and don't know when that is suppose to come back. I was told I have bipolar type 1 and don't really know too much about the illness other then I qualify for it because I've had only one manic episode with no depression. I'm looking to see if anyone else has ever felt like they've lost their self and how they gained it back. I was a radio host up at my school before this all happened where conversation came easy to me, now I can't bring my personality out for the life of me. I am new to posting of forums too, I am hoping someone has experienced the same thing and was able to come out of it feeling full again.

I was on Risperdal for the first 2 months and they changed me to Saphris this last month. Taking 20mg of Saphris and things haven't changed.

Thanks

Mr. Radio

Mr. Radio

[manicminer]

Originally Posted by Mr. Radio

This past Christmas I experienced my first manic episode, at first they told me it was psychosis and I would take 6 months to a year to recover. I feel like I've come out of the psychosis, but I still don't feel back to normal. I talk a lot less then I use to and my personality seems to be missing. I have lost my self-esteem and confidence and don't know when that is suppose to come back. I was told I have bipolar type 1 and don't really know too much about the illness other then I qualify for it because I've had only one manic episode with no depression. I'm looking to see if anyone else has ever felt like they've lost their self and how they gained it back. I was a radio host up at my school before this all happened where conversation came easy to me, now I can't bring my personality out for the life of me. I am new to posting of forums too, I am hoping someone has experienced the same thing and was able to come out of it feeling full again.

I was on Risperdal for the first 2 months and they changed me to Saphris this last month. Taking 20mg of Saphris and things haven't changed.

Thanks

Mr. Radio

Mr. Radio

Having gone through severe mania with psychosis leading up to my dx, I can closely relate.

To the best of my knowledge and by your description, what you are experiencing now is a kind of bipolar depression. This is your brain's way of recovering from the massive strain put on it by the mania and psychosis. In time with rest and therapy, you should hopefully return to "normal" or something like it.

Its been 4 years since my dx and hospitalization. I've finally made it back to a good place in the past 4 months. My recovery may have been quicker if I had not had a major relapse of alcoholism.

Long story short, it may take a while, but with hard work and determination, it is fully possible to find yourself and become the "old you" again.

Best wishes and good luck

["Tilly may"]

I understand your experience. I have bipolar disorder and have had little manic episodes which I enjoyed. Last year however I went extremely manic and did some crazy things which left me in terrible shape. I am just now starting to feel like the old me. Even my husband says I m not the same person that I used to be. But dont be discouraged because I feel like Im coming back to being me again. Hang in there
I agree with manicminer that you are probably in a bipolar depression.

[faerie_moon_x]

I have never had a sever manic episode. I have had the feeling I lost myself, however, and at that time I was extremely depressed. I've also lost some major aspects of myself.

I used to be a writer. It used to come easily. For the past few years I struggle. When it does come, it's only for a short time and it's extremely frustrating. I have no idea how to get it back but I understand feeling like something is missing.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by manicminer

Having gone through severe mania with psychosis leading up to my dx, I can closely relate.

To the best of my knowledge and by your description, what you are experiencing now is a kind of bipolar depression. This is your brain's way of recovering from the massive strain put on it by the mania and psychosis. In time with rest and therapy, you should hopefully return to "normal" or something like it.

Its been 4 years since my dx and hospitalization. I've finally made it back to a good place in the past 4 months. My recovery may have been quicker if I had not had a major relapse of alcoholism.

Long story short, it may take a while, but with hard work and determination, it is fully possible to find yourself and become the "old you" again.

Best wishes and good luck

This is so well put -thank you!

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by "Tilly may"

I understand your experience. I have bipolar disorder and have had little manic episodes which I enjoyed. Last year however I went extremely manic and did some crazy things which left me in terrible shape. I am just now starting to feel like the old me. Even my husband says I m not the same person that I used to be. But dont be discouraged because I feel like Im coming back to being me again. Hang in there
I agree with manicminer that you are probably in a bipolar depression.

I can relate to this as well. I've always had those hypomanic times which I absolutely love because I have all this energy and can get so much done, but last summer I threw a huge manic wing-ding that got me sent home from work and almost hospitalized. I started out with a BP-NOS diagnosis which was changed recently to BP II, but my pdoc won't rule out BP I because of that one severe episode (he was on vacation at the time and another pdoc prescribed Zyprexa to bring me down off the mania). He's waiting to see if I have another one of those before he makes a final determination of what 'flavor' I really have.

So, it's taken me a full year of med changes, tweaks, and increases to get to where I feel 'normal'. I'm in a good place right now, thank God, and I hope I can stay here because I'm handling things pretty well given the fact that I'm stressed out at work AND at home. Please give yourself time to get better, it really does take a lot of time and work to stabilize to a point where you're comfortable in your own skin again.

[rossiv46]

I can relate. About a 2 years ago I had a breakdown and after that my confidence, not that i had much; went out the door. I am afraid to try and do many thing, some of whic I did before. Although as of yet i have no answer but just put your self out there.. Fake it till you make it type thing..