[Moose72]

And I might leave. There are no answers to my problems. So why keep writing about then here. I already know there's psych ER etc etc. I might just climb back into bed when I get home. Endless depression.

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm sorry you feel terrible.

And I'm sorry I dont' know any answers

I just hope you feel better somehow.

[Moose72]

Thanks. I don't see any way. Should I tell pdoc this? Or t? Or nobody at all? I have been depressed for close to 2 months really.

[faerie_moon_x]

Maybe you need a change but not a medicine change but a change in something. Like.... I don't know... a trip into the mountains or to the ocean or the forest. Maybe you need to stand on a mountain and scream as loud as you can into the wind.

I don't know.

I try to think when I'm depressed really bad what I do.... I just go along. I don't tell anyone usually. I just go until it stops, because it does eventually stop. I pray. I think about my kids being alone, sitting like I sit when I think about how my mom left me here without her, even if it wasn't her choice. I play a game or watch something funny.

I don't know. I've never had any help so I just keep going and not stop. I don't know why.

[Moose72]

Scream on a mountain? *sigh*

[Moose72]

I've been going along for sux weeks. I'm sick of it. Too late to call pdoc. Another long night

[faerie_moon_x]

Sorry just trying to think of something different than what is always said over and over.....

[Moose72]

If I lived near a mountain I might take a walk up one.

I'm in bed watching a DVD. The usual. Wish I had a friend here.

[faerie_moon_x]

Yeah, I understand that.

[venusss]

I agree with Dark heart... I think breaking routine may help. Take a trip to get new... memories, stuff to think about...

pdoc will do only this much for you.

[Moose72]

It's cold. I just want my warm bed.

[Moose72]

Pdoc will only do this much for me??

[Moose72]

Another night in bed with my heating pad and the same DVD set. Might get a cup of hot tea.

[~Christina]

I agree try to break your routine. Maybe take pictures of things you normally don't. Or research the hell out of something, I do that to focus myself on something other than "me". Go to a hobby store and pick up a kit to make yourself a bracelet or whatnot.
Maybe read a book.

Sorry you are feeling so bad , cycles come and go , they always do.

[Victoria'smom]

You should tell anyone and everyone willing to listen until someone helps you get better.

[Moose72]

This one has been here seven weeks now.

Hobby shop. Interesting idea. Clay sounds like an idea. Wonder of there's a class.

[Moose72]

I did ask my friend to hon a walk but he can't till Wednesday.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Pdoc will only do this much for me??

if it's existential or situational or something... they won't help.

Moose, we're all part of nature and are subject to the shifts of the earth on its axis
in spring and fall. Try to soldier through this. I think most of us have been hit by
these feelings this week because of spring arriving.

Try wearing sun glasses, too, for the next several weeks while the sun is beaming so brightly. That might help. I read yesterday in "Manic-Depressive Illness" that bipolar patients are frequently extremely sensitive to light.

The shift can affect our sleeping schedule, too. It's all part of circadium rhythms affecting our internal clockworks!

Birds respond to shifts by migrating; bears hybernate, and we get
depressed. Go figure.

It's the season, that's all, I think. Just carry on 'til things improve.

Take care.

[BlueInanna]

Nature is a healer... and a warm comfy bed can be too... yea def talk to t and pdoc if you can go to them. talk to us, anyone... talk until it's all talked out and the next wave comes. I think that's good for processing the **** and finding a way to wrap your head around it and eventually find some kind of relief or solution or mood energy level... something different has to come soon for you, you've been down a long time.

[Moose72]

Wouldn't the light help?? More light= happier??

[Moose72]

Thanks for your optimism blue. I'll try calling my tv or pdoc but I have to stay to one appointment a month.

[Moose72]

I keep having those thoughts of taking too much Ativan. :-/

[Moose72]

Maybe a coloring book. Don't want to get one tonight. We might have colored pencils around.

[BlueInanna]

Yes, spring is coming, more light is more happy for me - I think for a lot of us. Remeber last fall how you were in love with the lighting and shades of colors on the leaves, and you were taking pictures? That time is coming for you where you're going to be amazed and excited again, it has to come again. I think you should draw for sure, and clay too - if you could get into that, that's a good therapy especially I loved wheel work, throwing pots on the wheel, been a long time though. And then the colored glazes, i liked that a lot.