Back at the pdoc tomorrow

So I finally saw a new pdoc a few weeks ago which was pretty tough, at least I seem to get along with her ok so far. I've been diagnosed with all sorts in the past, she didn't diagnose me on the first visit which I think is good, there's a lot going on with me as she said and needed me to document everything for a few weeks. Moods, feelings, everything.

I've had some major down days, mixed days, it's really weird seeing it all in a diary form. I think I'm getting nervous to what will happen tomorrow. She hasn't given me any new meds yet, just wanted me to document what I take and how it makes me feel no matter what it is. I've been off Prozac almost 3 wks with a couple of small doses to kill the withdrawals a bit inbetween. It's strange being almost unmedicated. Well except valium, threw in a seroquel on a night my brain wouldn't shut up and all of the intrusive thoughts.

Not sure what I'm posting about entirely. Feeling like I'll just get shoved out the door like old docs have done with no meds or idea what to do. Or give me fatteners which is no good for someone with an ED.

I've had some pretty scary mood swings though. Intense anger out of nowhere almost and it's never been that bad. Then to crying, I'm a bit all over the place. Felt happy today and now I'm just flat again.

Oh and so far her non diagnoses' she can see signs of bipolar, bpd, anxiety, but didn't see my depression as I was good at putting on my 'happy mask' which I can do A LOT in public.

Hi Nicole. It sounds like you may have a good match in your new pdoc. I can understand your fears of being shoved out the door or fattened up. I experienced those too. I think it's good she didn't diagnose you right off. A dx takes time. You must feel like you're on a roller coaster ride, and those can be pretty scary. You are not alone; we are all here to support you through this. Perhaps you can also post on some other forums for fellowship, like the eating disorders forum and the bpd forum. I hope you can find some fun things too to take your mind off of your struggles. Wishing you all the best and thinking of you.

Thank you :-) Yeah she seems to be good, just a bit nervous about what will happen med wise, I've been on the merry go round for years now and had all kinds of diagnoses thrown at me. The last pdoc had me bipolar 1, gave me Saphris which she'd never tried on any patients and it made me really unwell. Never built a good rapport with her either. It's sad how long it takes to find a doc that can help, I'm coming up to 10 years now.

I would be perfectly clear with her that because of your ED you are not willing to take medication that is not weight neutral. If a medication makes another illness worse it is not helping. Worse yet if you start and stop the meds because of ED's. There are many weight options to cycle through first.

Some that come to mind is: Most SSRI's, topamax, lamictal, Abilify, Geodon, and viibryd.

Welcome,
I also agree w/ making weight neutral known upfront. I do not do this w/ one provider and they gave me a med that blew me up. At first i couldnt figure out why i was gaining. I just went off the med but now have to lose the weight.

It's often hard to people to stand there ground and/or explain what you will and will not tolerate. Writing things down before your appointment is always a good idea. If you draw a blank you can look at your list.

As MM said there are many weight neutral medication available. I have an ED so I relate 100%.

Also remember this ..You and your Pdoc need to AGREE on a treatment/med plan.

Good luck

Hi Nicole, it's so hard with pdocs, hard to develop a good relationship as we see them for such short periods of time and they largely concentrate symptom relief with meds. Like you, though, I think it's a good sign that she's putting off diagnosis until she knows you better. Do you have a therapist who could communicate with her (if you'd be comfortable with this)? I think our therapists tend to know us best and they may help with diagnosis, though ultimately pdocs will make their own decision.

Sorry your mood has been fluctuating so much lately, hope you feel better soon!

Thank you so much for replying everyone Makes me feel more welcome. I've been on the site for years now but not a full on poster, kind of a lurker but not in the creepy sense lol.

The visit was better than the last, probably because I didn't have to pour out 29 years of my life basically. I had notes and mood and sleep charts which I was reluctant to give her. I burnt my journals years ago because I never wanted anyone reading them so having the trust to read into my brain was hard.. If that makes sense?

She agreed straight up to not put me on a med that will make me gain weight as it will just increase my b/p which is the cycle I've been stuck in the past few months. I'm starting Abilify tonight, I'm pretty nervous about it all as the only other antipsychotic I've had is Seroquel, well minus the one time on Saphris that was HORRIBLE.

So I'm sitting here waiting to take my 1/4 of 5mg (starting me slow as I'm med sensitive) and see how it goes.

I'm glad she was so understanding, I've seen some docs that I wouldn't even talk to about my ED. The last psych refused to even see patients with ED's. Seroquel was no good, increased my appetite far too much.

I'm hoping if I can get my moods/thoughts/everything a bit less chaotic then maybe things will get more on track. It's a long process that's for sure.