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  #1  
Old May 02, 2013, 06:05 PM
Darth Bane's Avatar
Darth Bane Darth Bane is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: In the galaxy far far away !!!
Posts: 380
Quote:
On this lonely road, trying to make it home
Doing it by my lonesome pissed off who wants some
I'm fighting for my soul, God get at your boy
You try to bogart fall back I go hard

On this lonely road, trying to make it home
Doing it by my lonesome pissed off who wants some
I see them long hard times to come ....

- "Justified" title song
accepting i have bipolar and accepting i have to change my life because of it, two totally different things. i did first thing 2 months ago and doing second thing right now !!!

let me explain it in more plain words

Quote:
"I had an epiphany today. I'm going to be alone forever, aren't I ?”

- Carrie Mathison, Homeland
Quote:
My life is ill son... prepared to kill son
A paradox of pain, baby; it's real son

Aint got no family, you see there's one of me
Might lose your pulse standing two feet in front of me
I'm pissed at the world, but I aint looking for trouble
I might crack a grin, I aint looking to hug you

You probably think I'm crazy, or got some loose screws
But that's alright though--I'm a'do me, you do you
So how you judging me? I'm just trying to survive
And if the time comes, I aint trying to die
I'm just trying to fly, and get a little love
Find me a dime piece and get a little hug

is there anything that hasnt changed because of bipolar ??? body,mind,relationships ??? or money ??? i do remember having bit more money than i have right now, or having more friends, or calling my mom and sis more frequently. i haven't met my sister in last 4 months and we live in same city just 10 miles apart.

So again, I had an epiphany today. I'm going to be alone forever, aren't I ???

Quote:
I see them long hard times to come ....
__________________
I am lost in my own mind !

Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams !

Dx - Bipolar II

I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!!
Hugs from:
Atypical_Disaster, BipolaRNurse
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster

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  #2  
Old May 02, 2013, 06:34 PM
Cocosurviving's Avatar
Cocosurviving Cocosurviving is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: Muscogee (Creek) Nation Reservation
Posts: 5,920
Hi,
I LOVE the song, the words speak volumes.
I'm moving to have family support. But
in reality how much can they take? I guess
only time will tell. How much can they relate.
Zero. I can't talk to them abt anything BP
related. They just wouldn't get, they look
at me in horror and/or act nervous around
me. I'm not interested in dating anymore.
One guy I was talking to got ghost when
I dropped the bomb on him. He act like
I said aids. Are you and your mom still
speaking? If your sister is good to you,
think abt txt'n her (on a good day). You
could just say "hi, thinkn abt u", that would
break the ice.

Thanks again for the lyrics, I'll be saving them.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong
Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day.

1). Depression
2). PTSD
3). Anxiety
4). Hashimoto
5). Fibromyalgia
6). Asthma
7). Atopic dermatitis
8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria
9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1)
10). Gluten sensitivity
11). EpiPen carrier
12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. .
13). Alopecia Areata
Hugs from:
Darth Bane
Thanks for this!
Darth Bane
  #3  
Old May 02, 2013, 06:35 PM
Cocosurviving's Avatar
Cocosurviving Cocosurviving is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: Muscogee (Creek) Nation Reservation
Posts: 5,920
Hi,
I LOVE the song, the words speak volumes.
I'm moving to have family support. But
in reality how much can they take? I guess
only time will tell. How much can they relate.
Zero. I can't talk to them abt anything BP
related. They just wouldn't get, they look
at me in horror and/or act nervous around
me. I'm not interested in dating anymore.
One guy I was talking to got ghost when
I dropped the bomb on him. He act like
I said aids. Are you and your mom still
speaking? If your sister is good to you,
think abt txt'n her (on a good day). You
could just say "hi, thinkn abt u", that would
break the ice.

Thanks again for the lyrics, I'll be saving them.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong
Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day.

1). Depression
2). PTSD
3). Anxiety
4). Hashimoto
5). Fibromyalgia
6). Asthma
7). Atopic dermatitis
8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria
9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1)
10). Gluten sensitivity
11). EpiPen carrier
12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. .
13). Alopecia Areata
  #4  
Old May 02, 2013, 06:53 PM
Darth Bane's Avatar
Darth Bane Darth Bane is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: In the galaxy far far away !!!
Posts: 380
Cocosurviving , I too am not interested in dating anymore. I have not told my family about bipolar. today is the actually first time i considered it.

it is not that my sis and me are not close or anything like that. i do remember when i was 8 years old i went to school trip but my sis couldn't, so i bought small purse for her. we were always close.

but for last 2 years when i was depressed i could feel that she has some idea what i am going through. i couldn't hide it that well. i had lost,gained weight, and even those calls, mom and sis could listen that pain in my voice i think, so i reduced number of calls. more i talked more they could get idea of what i am feeling .....
__________________
I am lost in my own mind !

Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams !

Dx - Bipolar II

I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!!
  #5  
Old May 02, 2013, 07:43 PM
Cocosurviving's Avatar
Cocosurviving Cocosurviving is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: Muscogee (Creek) Nation Reservation
Posts: 5,920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Bane View Post
Cocosurviving , I too am not interested in dating anymore. I have not told my family about bipolar. today is the actually first time i considered it.

it is not that my sis and me are not close or anything like that. i do remember when i was 8 years old i went to school trip but my sis couldn't, so i bought small purse for her. we were always close.

but for last 2 years when i was depressed i could feel that she has some idea what i am going through. i couldn't hide it that well. i had lost,gained weight, and even those calls, mom and sis could listen that pain in my voice i think, so i reduced number of calls. more i talked more they could get idea of what i am feeling .....
Last summer I knew something was wrong.
I was so scared. I dodged calls from family
b/c they would know something was wrong.
After getting dx'd it was hard accepting the dx
and being honest w/ others abt it. I told my mom and
sisters (two of my sisters have it). I told a few
close friends and all but one bailed on me.
I started dealing w/ depression this past winter,
and I just had a two med adjustments. I
hope yours have been adjusted so you do not
have to suffer again. Mania is scary to me but
depression is HELL. I'm sorry you had to deal
with the depression demon. I'm glad you and
your sister were close and I'm sure you guys
can pick back up. I hope you find the strength
to tell at least your mom and sister. I'm
sure both would love to hear from you.
I attend a support group through NAMI (NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness - Mental Health Support, Education and Advocacy).
It has really helped me. In my city they (NAMI)
also offer, a support group for people that have,
a family member w/ a mental illness.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong
Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day.

1). Depression
2). PTSD
3). Anxiety
4). Hashimoto
5). Fibromyalgia
6). Asthma
7). Atopic dermatitis
8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria
9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1)
10). Gluten sensitivity
11). EpiPen carrier
12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. .
13). Alopecia Areata
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