[badseed]

Hello I am curious if the personality of your manic self stays the same every manic episode or is it a new personality?
I ask because I had my first manic episode years back that lasted around 3 months. I acted so different from who I normally am during that time , I felt like I had been possessed. I know it sounds crazy , but the way I was acting was out of my mind. I even went by a different name.
If I end up having another manic episode, will I be that same personality again, or will it be somebody new?
I hope it's not a jackass of a question, I'm still sorta new to all this.

[faerie_moon_x]

That's really interesting.

I think I am the same me no matter what. Just sometimes I'm very grumpy racing me and sometimes I'm mellow me, and sometimes I'm blah me. But, it's always just me.

I'd like to see what other people say.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by badseed

Hello I am curious if the personality of your manic self stays the same every manic episode or is it a new personality?
I ask because I had my first manic episode years back that lasted around 3 months. I acted so different from who I normally am during that time , I felt like I had been possessed. I know it sounds crazy , but the way I was acting was out of my mind. I even went by a different name.
If I end up having another manic episode, will I be that same personality again, or will it be somebody new?
I hope it's not a jackass of a question, I'm still sorta new to all this.

I'm sorry you experience it too, but I'm glad I'm not alone. Once it's been going for a while, I too feel like I've been possessed, taken over. Not to the point of going by another name though, more a very strong feeling than that concrete. And afterwards I look back and don't feel it was me at all. Very disconcerting.

My experiences are never exactly the same -but then my episodes are few and far between and my memory sucks. So I can't really answer that question.

[EternalWinter]

I always tend to want to be really productive with all my energy. But I never do id rather be out shopping (sounds girly i know). Being in crowded places seems to stimulate my hypomania a lot. So maybe thats why I like going shopping. I also get very aggressive, I feel like its me VRs everyone else, Im always looking around to make sure no one is looking at me. If someone is looking at me, the racing thoughts go through my mind, there judging me, there looking down on me, they are thinking bad things. I can go from being very happy to angry in seconds. I wouldnt even call it anger but a feeling of powerfulness. Like you better not look at me, because i am crazier then you, so dont try to stare me down. And people do look away when I notice cause I make it clear I dont like that. If they did not, I really dont know how far I would take it. But at the same time im really nice if someone is nice to me or asks me for something, even change. So its like I can be really nice, or really mean.

But I always hated it when someone would look at me. So Its my own thought process on steroids. So yes id say its the same old me, just taken to an extreme.

I have changed my names too. Cause I felt like different personalities should be a whole new person all together. I even make 5 or six different names and have a set of clothes for each. Different music and one personality smoked while another didnt. I felt it as an experiment more then something possessing me to do it though...

[badseed]

So being aggressive is a bi polar trait? The manic or the depressed side?

[HabitualQuitter]

both are traits

[WrongEverything]

my (major) manias have been different kind of. Not gonna include the hypomanias >.>

the first one was in like 12th grade, productivity through the roof, no sleep, self harm, delusions, failed all classes because of attendance, even though I got top grades in a few of them (without showing) because I still did the work.

2nd one was about 2 years ago, mixed, depressed and manic, not sleeping, highly delusional. Spent my nights writing important things from the bible in a notebook, thinking that if I did this I would be my "perfect" self. Delusions about a language in a hallucination. There also may have been a bit of self harm. Ended up on a parking garage.

3rd one was this last semester, just productivity, increased ego, extreme self-confidence and flight of ideas, pressured speech, hallucinations and paranoia. If I don't let this bout of mood swings get to me, i'm expecting a 3.5+ gpa this semester. Soo.. it helps but I'm really expecting a major crash soon. And I can't afford for that to happen.

So to answer your questions, they've got similar traits, but they really can be quite unpredictable. Sometimes you just get different combonations of symptoms.

[BlueInanna]

I'm trying to think of another name to go by.... I think I want that. Or I'm just hypo.

I want to be Lucianna... I'm no help sorry.

[faerie_moon_x]

I have multiple names and they change. I've had so many names. So many. Names are identifiers, they are points of power.

Other Me doesn't have a name. She just is. I think she is all the names that I am but also am not.

[notALICE]

My dad used to recite this poem to me when I was a very little girl, and the same is true of my personality (even though I supposedly grew up):

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL
BY HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

I've always been one of extremes, and shocked my diagnosis came so late in life. Just a few months ago at 41. Everyone else seemed to know, but me. Or the doctors. I think it was because I sought help when feeling depressed, never manic. I also mistakenly thought manic meant you had to be euphorically happy all the time. I had moments, but the euphoria never lasted that long.

I tend to be shy, quiet and withdrawn, with dark tendencies. I was even voted The Quietest in my class yearbook.

Depression or mania - not the same woman. During my last manic episode I even volunteered to do a public speaking presentation, which should have hinted to me that something was very wrong indeed. I was the kid who skipped school on speech days, and nothing could coax me into getting in front of a podium. Well, maybe if I was drunk, but I don't drink anymore. I am definitely more impulsive, unaware of putting myself in potentially dangerous situations when manic. Looking back, I can see those times now.

Jekyll and Hyde, but sometimes a fun mixture. I think I stay more or less the same in either state, as far as very distinct separate personalities - my manic one & my depressive one. Although its hard to view oneself. Others might have a clearer view of how I really come across.

One thing I have noticed since joining PC, I am share so many feelings and similarities in what I used to think were my personality quirks. I find so much comfort in that. Relating & not comparing. Not feeling like such a freak. I'm not alone, in many aspects, struggles, joys and feelings and neither are you

[Cocosurviving]

I experienced mania (May -July 2012) I over shopped, created a different name, I created social media profiles (FB, twitter, Instagram and email) under my newly created name. I had a HUGE ego and it reflected in my new name. I met someone on twitter and went to a house party, almost got raped. I damn near went clubbing every weekend. I
deal w/ the hyper sexual activity but luckily for me I only craved one person.
And I put in work on him.
I also dressed more sexy and put thought into my outfits. I only wanted to wear "head turning" outfits. I wore lots of make up, high heels, bracelets and necklets. I paid $200 to get my hair close to Beyonce'. I worked out like it was going out of style. I hit the gym 3-4 days per week and stayed 3 hrs each time. I barely slept probably 4-5 hrs each night. I got behind in opening my mail and paying bills. I dodged calls from family. I lost my job due to being manic (mean manic). The only plus during this episode is I never did drugs or got drunk. I'm not a drinker, I would limit myself to one drink. Thanks to medication and Gods grace I have not had another manic episode.

During my hypo, I still over shopped on stupid crap. I spent $150 on cleaning supples. I would stay up til 3 or 4 am (on Twitter) go to bed them get back up
at 10am. I didn't really eat, just snacked.

Depression started this past winter and still dealing w/ it sad, cry (for any reason) and don't wanted to be ard anyone. I stopped using social media and my alter ego email. I stopped wanting to shower, cooking and cleaning often. I also stopped going to the gym.

[badseed]

I am absolutely amazed on how much I can myself in every one of these replies. I was diagnosed with bi polar when I was 15 yrs old. Nobody ever explained what bi polar meant to me and I never asked. Hell the only reason I even looked into bi polar was on the advise of someone else in another part of this forum. After reading some other post and these replies,it's all come together and EVERYTHING makes sense now! I'm kinda pissed off that all those years of therapy and not one therapist explaining why I do the things I do. Thank god for Internet forums and good people like you all that are willing to talk about it but also listen! Thank you!

[comicgeek007]

I'm really happy. Ridiculously so. But I have a much shorter temper than usual, and the energy to want to break things when I get pissed. I do ALL of the things and apparently sometimes believe I'm immune to needing to do things like say, sleeping. I have so much creativity that when my thoughts aren't going the speed of light I'm probably writing or making something. I listen to music loudly to try to deal with my racing thoughts and often sing along. I eat unhealthy and way too much (very out of character). I spend more than I should. I'm afraid when I get older I'm gonna get a hundred dumb tattoos because of impulse.

[notALICE]

The only thing I miss about the mania is that my house was a whole lot cleaner. I've also developed an addiction to stupid scratch off lottery tickets. How stupid considering I am unemployed ATM. I know better logically, but...
...still buying the damn things.