[BlueInanna]

My son was out with his teen friends Sat night, he tripped over somehtinbg on sidewalsdk and fell directly on right elbow. His friends deorove him home to me, they cam in my room and woke me up, "C ... C... please wake up we have a problem."

Jumped out of bed. They were holding my son up, he was sobbing in pain, arm hanging, twisted and swollen. "hopsitoal now" I yelled, threw my clothes on. My son resisted, he was scared of the hospital, he's mbeen so many times, mostly involuntarily... his friends I am grateful for - even though theyd been drinking, the good driver was sober and in school as an emt (he said it looks very dislocated but could also have a break, does not want to attempt putting it back into place since it's an elbow - good thinking). they showed so much care for him, and helped talk him into going. The helped me lift him into care and i went to nearest hospital.

Hosptal helped him quickly with IV and pain meds, they were so nice to us. Took xrays and it looked crazy how disconnected the bones were. I left the room wihile they set it back into place.

xrays after show there is a fracture as well that will require surgery. but that they like to wait for swelling to go down before doing that.

they set it in a splint and sent us home sunday morning. he's in bad pain still, percotcet helping some but not fully.

i slept all aday yesterday. could sleep all day now too - it was really hard to see my guy in so much pain, so scary. they asked about the scares (from SI_) on his arms, he just said that's not from tinight that's another story. he was crying alot and thanking me for taking him, telling me how they're so nice to him, how it's nicer to be in hospital for a different reason than bp. at 17, he knows about the stigma, first hand

He cried about how he'd been going to hospitals since age 11, and hwo sad that is and too too young, and why is he such a freak. I agreed and let him know i'm sorry i gave him the bp genes, but he's not a freak at all. That there are so many people who've been through it too - he's not alone in it even though it seems like it and we don't know other people in our same town with similiar experience but there are so many suffering and know his suffering.

Maybe when he's older he can find an online support group like this one, and realize he's not a fereak and there are so many of us. It's the stigma makeds it so hush hush.

Anyway, I'm grateful he wasnt hurt worse. i'm grateful to the ER nurses and staff treating us like real valuable people this trime. and not just strapped down to a bed in restraints with cops babysititng. We have had some very kind nurses during the ER opsych visits, but they were rare.

Also - I have no health insurance... figureing out how to do this sugery may be very difficult. I'm 39, this is the first time i've not havd health insurance... I just couldn't pay it.

Thanks for listening.

[faerie_moon_x]

Hugs to you and your son! And hopefully he will heal fast. That sounds so painful to break your elbow. Extra good job to his friends! They did the right thing. I'm glad the hospital went well. I had a good experience in the hospital for physical reasons, too. But, I've never been for BP, so I have nothing to compare it to. I know stigma is a terrible thing, though.

[BlueInanna]

Thanks DH this is just the sort of thing , stress , that throws me into something. like i know im not "normal" when stress comes on. i cant barely move. working from bed on my laptop. waiting for some important emails and phonecalls then i plan to close the curtains and xonk out. Got little ione to school this morning, he'll come home on bus... i juast wanna rest and be here for my bidg boy, make sure he takes the meds before pain comes on too strong. and waiting to see if money comting through to pay insurance, have to make appointment with orthopedic surgeon ... or the welfare health insurance. hopefully will know today isf the money is coming through - i'm praying!!!! and then prayhing thy'll reinstaite my insurance. 2months late at this point....

[faerie_moon_x]

If not, look into emergency medicaid if you can. When my 6 year old was only 2, he had two ER visits in one week. Once a glass broke and before I could grab him he cut his finger, and needed stitchen. Next later in the week, he kept screaming and wouldn't stop. Turned was constipated most expensive bottle of pedialite. The second time the woman at the hospital charged me a $100 "co-pay" because she confused me with someone else, and thought it was my insurance. I argued that I didn't have insurance and she said it was a down payment. It was the last money I had until payday, all of our groceries for that paycheck gone because one woman decided to be an *****

Well, I was able to get emergency medicaid and it was just for those 2 visits even though I made too much for medicaid. And six months later I got my $100 back.

[BlueInanna]

Turns out this hospital i went to is "private' and doessn't even take mediCal/medicaid... they also dont take my blue cross even itf i can get it reinstated. But i will possibley get back 60% or something

intake - financial nurse lady was so so sweet - she said they want $390 a s a downpayment, but then asked me how much i could pay right now - i said I think i could do $100 but thats all i have. she said dionlt worry about it right now - just going to have financial aid contact me.

and then his midicine had to go to drugstore to get it, my insurance was declined but it only cost $31 and itf i get reinstated, just come back and they'll repay me.

im not hearing anything yet about the money coming through idk what to do - i want to wait to see if im going to pay for my insurance before i go to welfare office and start jumping through all their hoops - they are even going to make me file charges against both ex fathers for child support, this will all take time and majhor pain in the bleep. and major invasions of privacy from going on welfare i really trying so hard to avoid anything having to do with gov assistance.... but may have to... and then itf i wait too long to get his surgery - cps will come at me with, you didn't take care of your childs medical needs and could try to take my 11 yr old from me as well... here i go in catastrophic thinking, tgonna stop cuz i recognize going into it. just all this stuff in news lately about cps taking kids away from parents and then being very difficult to get child back, meanwhile theyre traumatized for a lifetime.

so going to think positively... at least peacefully... the money will comethrough today or tomororw and i will get insurance reinstated

or... figure out the alternative tomorrow... he will run out of pain meds tomorrow, they only gave 20, and it's 2 every 6 hours... ER doc was very nice, he would probably call in a refill if I explain my weird in between insurances situation. he even called yesterday to see how my boy was doing.

[Trippin2.0]

(((((((((( C & Son )))))))))) So sorry you had such a huge scare, I hope his arm heals soon and that you get the money stuff sorted out soon Take it easy, be good to yourself you know how these things can spiral fast

[faerie_moon_x]

I hate insurance.

Hopefully things even out for a while and you can get it all taken care of without too much trouble. At least it sounds like you can get some of it back.

[notALICE]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

(((((((((( C & Son )))))))))) So sorry you had such a huge scare, I hope his arm heals soon and that you get the money stuff sorted out soon Take it easy, be good to yourself you know how these things can spiral fast

Trippin2.0 - I love Emily the Strange.

C - my son 16 yo just broke his arm/elbow recently. Not sure if he needs surgery because his B of a stepmother refuses to communicate with me. I can't go visit because he is in Maine, I'm in Florida, unemployed. Left messages & sent an Amazon gift card because I know he loves to read. I found out through my sister who found out through evil stepmother through Facebook.

Medical bills - I have a nice huge stack. If you are paying just a little bit, don't sweat it. Mine are the least of my worries, right now, and with my 17yo sons recent hospitalizations, and mine (heart probs), this might sound irresponsible but I'll deal with them when I am not in crisis mode. God knows when that will be. Over time they'll sometimes even make a deal at a fraction of the cost to settle it.

My heart aches for you and your son with the "freak" part. It's true the stigma is so hard. It's what my 17 yo struggled with the most. We both have scars from S.I.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by notALICE

Trippin2.0 - I love Emily the Strange.

Me too

[BlueInanna]

Just got my insurance reinstated!


But poor kid he's really scared about the surgery...

[faerie_moon_x]

Yay!

That's good news.

[~Christina]

Yay ! your insurance is back! I'm so sorry he broke his arm .. poor kid.. The main thing that I keep getting drawn back to is ... You both were treated kindly , this wasn't an out of control Bipolar issue, Of course there should not be any stigma and I wont even get into that BS, I think even tho he was hurt , he was seeing the ER and being treated well and maybe it help him heal from some of the past horrible trips in the past ..
I hope you both can get some rest.

Hugs hugs hugs to you both

[notALICE]

Great news on the insurance!!!

Silver lining? or coincidence or lots of shouting over the phone?

Any way it happened that's very cool!

[Trippin2.0]

That's brilliant news! Very happy and relieved to hear that

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by notALICE

Great news on the insurance!!!

Silver lining? or coincidence or lots of shouting over the phone?

Any way it happened that's very cool!

A little luck, prayer and magic, and a ton load of hard hard work!

And Christina - thank you - I too think it's a positive that he got to experience kindness in a hospital. I'm also grateful he finally has some friends who don't use meth!!! He'd been so lonely and felt like his reputation was ruined forever.

Finally got the recommend on orthopedci surgeon, hopefully they'll give me a call back for appointment tomorrow and lord help me with the copay!

Thanks all

[crepesaredelicious]

Hope your son's arm heals!
It must be hard to go through that, and hopefully you will be able to get enough rest too.

[BlueInanna]

So we have to wait for a new surgeon referral The first one referred finally got back to me with , sorry we're booked can't fit him in. Now waiting for Monday so I can call gp again for new referral. I think they were closed Friday.

I know we'll get in with one, and get him fixed up. But the wait is disappointing. I'm in a moody slump.

Yesterday, got a call from the bf's friend, that he's had a dirt bike accident and in hospital having surgery. Broken wrist... I was doing so well with no contact, 2 weeks. But I did take his call last night after his surgery. I felt really obligated, and then annoyed that I had to feel obligated.

I'm conflicted, I felt sorry for him, but I didn't trust why he was calling me. I don't trust him - emotionally. It's probably equal, as in past things he's done that hurt my feelings combined with whatever I have that goes on in my head to keep myself guarded and untrusting.

I was at ex gf lovers house last night - the mean teacher lol - but I think she had good advice about him. She said unless he shows up offering you total comittment, the marriage you want, the living together as a family, these things you've wanted from him for the past 7 years - tell him sorry no go. But the point we're at now is that is all beyond the point. If he offers to marry me out of desparation for losing me - doesn't really interest me. I'm afraid he missed the boat.

I'm very conflicted and emotionally wobbly today - son's arm, other son's probs at school, daughter failing her drivers permit test, yet another argument with sister yesterday, upcoming work week and work I have to do today, now the risk of talking with bf again today. High anxiety. To put it lightly.

I have to take youngest to a birthday party starts in 20mins, we didnt' even buy a present. I barely slept, havent showered. Heart is pounding. Social anxiety.

Boo hoo. Thanks for listenting.

[Victoria'smom]

sorry

[Trippin2.0]

(((((((( C ))))))) ugh, I know all about obligation, with my mean jerk of an ex, obligation was the poison that infected me. After him I vowed to steer clear from that word and all it entails, I think being bpd, I take "obligation" too far emotionally.

This time around, I have no obligations, and clearly have a bf who does not feel obligated to be with me, which in turn makes me feel safe. I am all for taking responsibility, but I refuse to feel obligated, its a dirty word in my book.

Ok now I've had my rant

So sorry things are hectic, I hope Junior's arm is seen to very soon and that your plate clears up nicely

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

(((((((( C ))))))) ugh, I know all about obligation, with my mean jerk of an ex, obligation was the poison that infected me. After him I vowed to steer clear from that word and all it entails, I think being bpd, I take "obligation" too far emotionally.

This time around, I have no obligations, and clearly have a bf who does not feel obligated to be with me, which in turn makes me feel safe. I am all for taking responsibility, but I refuse to feel obligated, its a dirty word in my book.

Ok now I've had my rant

So sorry things are hectic, I hope Junior's arm is seen to very soon and that your plate clears up nicely

Thanks so much Lia, I love how you phrased this. I see what a big problem I have with "obligation"! Huge... I take on all sorts of everything that is not mine to carry... I want to fix everybody, I want to take care of everybody. But it's not healthy with a partner to feel so obligated. It should an easy act of love if both people are putting in the love, care and support.

Another pointer towards potential bpd for me too. My emotions and reactions take over... I do feel so sorry for him that he broke his wrist... at least it's his left wrist, so I don't need to feel sorry for him in that department lol.

I'm dreading his call... I have a gf helping me with blogs to read, made a list of my values & priorities, compared to my perception of his. Less than more in common. And I can see where my priorities betrayed my values, putting him as a priority lead to confusion and resentment. A successful relationship must include working toward the same goal. The writing is on the wall, I've been living in Narnia. This is so freaking hard.

[Trippin2.0]

it is hard I agree, but I also know that it's well worth it when you do manage to find your way out of Narnia. I'm here pulling for you C, and you know you can PM or FB me anytime, I relate all to well with the emotional turmoil relationships cause, healthy or unhealthy.

Love you sis, you're gonna come out of this swinging, you always do

[notALICE]

I love Narnia. Well, the books. God, so off topic. C - stay strong, because you are you know. We all have momentary weaknesses.

[BlueInanna]

"I prefer Narnia." Going to make bumper stickers rofl