Feeling Sui ???

My sister is here from out of town. I'm feeling Sui urges. Seeing myself inpatient. I just hate my life. Hers is so perfect. I just had a nice weekend with a friend too. It's Mother's Day on top of it all.

Nobody's life is perfect. Everybody has a flaw, an imperfection, a skeleton in their closet.

Right of course but it just reminded me what a mess my life is in.

But that's not a permanent state. You will get your life back together. Things can change. Sometimes for the good.

How do you know it will change? It hasn't so far. Doors closed in my face and dead ends looming. Opportunities not given because I've ruined my life.

To me , Moose , you will make it much farther than I ever will. Idk if u know I'm in photo industry , I have told you. But you have talent you have drive you don't see. You prob didn't mean for your question to really be an outward question but yes I'm feeling Sui.

I think comparing one life to another is just not helpful. I mean, you really don't know what's going on behind closed doors. People can tell you about their life, but you won't really know until you live under their roof. You'd be surprised how good some people are at hiding things.

Just remember that sui thoughts cling to things like that. Whispering to you that the grass is greener on the other side is one of it's tricks. Don't give up.

My sister is "The Golden Child," too, but I've just learned to accept it over the years. My sister accepts me -- even though I'm BP I & on disability, & I accept her successes. As Arethusa wrote, everyone has their flaws. Try not make negative comparisons between you & your sister. We're all different & have our own strengths & weaknesses. I hope you feel better about yourself soon...You deserve that for yourself.

My sister has no job yet lives this great life in Hollywood. Her daughter is on tv and in movies... I don't even have a boyfriend.

Sounds a little like my sis, but she got handed the bp dx 1-2 years ago, and her life's been falling apart. Mine is older. Is yours older or younger?

Your kids are gorgeous and talented too!

Do you even want a boyfriend??

Mine is younger. Thank you about my kids. . My youngest just placed tip out of the middle school for math or reading- can't remember which. He's in 6th grade. :-)

See, just because you don't live a picket-fence life, you are not a failure. The judgemental attitude of others is not worth it. Not everyone can live in the perfect package box of "Americana." It's all just a myth anyway.

That's great! I'm more happy for you than jealous, but you know my older 2 are high school drop outs, one is in independant studies but about to be kicked. many many negatives I could focus on, but that's dangerous territory for me. So I'll think of a positive, they are nice people, they love me and give me hugs.

My mother-in-law was a high school drop out and before she had to go on disability. She was a home health care worker. At the end of her carreer she was the manager of an office and oversaw a whole group of other workers. She always says she started out washing butts and by the end she was the boss.

Your kids can accomplish a lot even if they are drop outs. It may not be the traditional method, but it is possible.

I'm afraid my eldest wont pass this year because of what happened last year.

Well traditional school isn't for everybody. High school is a bore, college classes are much more interesting. Can he get the GED and get out and onto college? What happened last year?

Now C is telling me I'd make a great kids photographer. But I know nothing about that. I got a book about setting up a business but it was so confusing.

Last year he all but failed. He took 9/10 this year. So I dunno if he'll be in 10/11 or fail again.

Here's a start.
30 Things you Should Know to Help you Start a Photography Business
Lots of good stuff on this website. Nothing happens overnight. Focus on your passion for it, and your natural talent.

Thanks blue!

Walt Disney was knocked back 302 times before he got financing for creating Disney World

I like this part of the link you sent!

I liked that part too. I grew up in an entrepreneurial home - we definately had some duds! Extremes, poor times and wealthy times.

I like the part:
Fact: the average entrepreneurial millionaire has been broke or nearly broke 3.2 times

I'm currently in one of those broke phases :/ not yet at the millionaire phase lol. Not ever likely but I could at least get back to a comfortable living, with flex hours.

Thanks, Blue! I think this is a good article for all types of things, not just photography.

Moose, I think your sister does bother you; you virtually said so in the first part of this thread. It was something like "I had a nice visit with a friend and now this". It's your little child within that feels the brunt of your sister's presence and success in her life. Never stand in the shadow of your sister's life.

I know this is hard to accept, but it was a very helpful thing for me to learn years
ago when I was highly competitive and really didn't know that we can refuse to be
competitive and live very happily and it's quite all right not to be competitive.

It starts with never letting who or what somebody else is affect our judgment of ourselves. We have to know that what other people say or do is really a revelation of themselves more than it is anything else.

In fact, don't even judge yourself. Just evaluate who you are and live by your deepest principles. Doing so will enable you to be much happier in your life and you will find much greater success in your life in the long run. You are so intelligent; there's no reason for you not to succeed if you can just rid yourself of the idea that you somehow must compare yourself to your sister. Stand independently alone but be friendly with your sister. You really don't owe her the privilege of making you feel less than worthy.

I have an older one who really put the screws to me as a very young child, and I have spent a lifetime, almost, trying to overcome her influence. (I love her, but I don't like her--you know how it is.) Now we are good friends, but she knows better than to try the old childhood game of "you're not quite good enough, etc." What a crock!

Try to get interested in something like a career in photography. I know someone who started out with nothing and has a very successful career now in photography of children--which will always have a good market, in my view.

Take care, Moose. You're a very valuable person and your talent needs to come through with a career for you that you'd enjoy.