[HabitualQuitter]

l
I am having a really hard time. I was Dx in early Feb this year with all the garbage in my signature. I've had side effects with all but one of my meds. One I had to wean off of (Restoril which was written for sleep and is actually a Benzo)! The pdoc that wrote my meds did so while I was inpatient at the hospital. When I got out she wouldn't do any follow up care including writing any refills. She has me at high doses of hardcore meds then refuses to help me. The earliest I can see a pdoc is July 2nd. My previous pdoc knows this, I called her office and left messages to which her receptionist replied she was not accepting new patients regardless that I had been seeing her nurse practitioner for TWO YEARS. Her NP saw me for an EDNOS a while back. Flash forward to the hospital stay and I meet the pdoc whose name has been on my Rx's for two years. And what does she do? She Rx's me the two most common meds to cause weight gain. After writing meds a little over a year ago for an eating disorder!! Seriously? Did she just overlook the info in my file? Did she do it on purpose? The Seroquel has cause ungodly constipation, the Restoril caused urinary retention so bad that I went to the ER to get Rx'd some at lower doeses to taper down so I could stop. I am currently still on a diuretic. Just recently I developed a rash that looks very much like the Lamictal rash pics I googled on FB. I went to the ER and they gave me Prednisone 20mg 4x a day and told me to take Benadryl for the itching. They also kindly said they don't adjust meds even if you are having an allergic reaction to them. So they recco'd that I consult the pdoc that wrote the meds. Impossible, she won't. So they said follow up with a different pdoc, again, impossible, as of now I can't get in until 7/2. I guess the only med I haven't reacted to (yet, or that I know of) is the Inderal. I've been in therapy for 5week or so. I go once a week. I don't feel like the meds are helping, I don't feel like thrapy is doing much. I feel so depressed right now. My husband and sister (my support system) are totally out of patience and grace and my therapist is the only one who understands me. I found an IRL support group.for Bipolar that meets two Thursdays a month. I will go for the first time this week. I am hoping this will help with the loneliness and isolation that I am facing. I hate my life, I hate myself. I feel so alone. I needed to vent. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

[wildflowerchild25]

I get the pdoc thing, some of them are real a-holes and don't care on e you leave. I can't believe she would not write refills when she knows you can't get in somewhere until July!! As for the rash I would definitely stop the med giving me side effect especially since you no one will help you! Screw the ER.

I hope you find peace soon. I know my hubby is getti g fed up as well.

[ultramar]

Wow, this is terrible -it sounds like you fell through the cracks of the system or something? For the record, I think often in-patient psychiatrists don't do the follow up once you're discharged, they refer you to an outpatient pdoc at discharge. So it sounds like they referred you to the pdoc who you have an appt. with is July? So they discharged you in February and gave you an appointment at that time for July, or am I missing something here? This means you haven't seen a pdoc since you were discharged. That's just crazy, I'm sorry this has happened.

I would strongly recommend that you call the pdoc you already have an appointment with and ask for an earlier appointment, explaining that you haven't seen anyone since February -I think with that, they should be able to fit you in.

Sorry this is happening and good luck!

[HabitualQuitter]

Every time there's a cancellation with the pdoc Im scheduled with they immediately bump me up the list. They called last night at 6:30pm, said someone cancelled their 7pm appt (I live 5min away) and I could come in. But it's not the sliding scale ($35) like it is to see my therapist there. The first visit is $160!! And $80 each time after that. Between my meds & therapy rent is already being pushed aside for a whole month now I really think I need to go inpatient to be under the supervision of a pdoc & to get my meds right. Im so new to this. Idk what's a symptom and what's a side effect. I have 3 kids and I don't want to put that stress on my family again. But my first hospitalization was for suicide attempt. This time I would be going in not in psychosis or an episode or whatever. I just need help!!

[wildflowerchild25]

Well definitely express that to your pdoc. Every place is different for what they will hospitalize for. I remember one time being forced into hospitalization for a med adjustment but hear many tales of people being actively suicidal and still being turned down for inpatient. I understand your frustration though. I kind of want to say screw it and go inpatient right now since I'm not sure I can handle being started on meds outside when it takes so long to see a difference.

Try to poke around this website and others so you can learn more about managing your dx and what meds could do.

And remember: you are not defined by your diagnosis. You are still a person.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Not to deter you if you really need to do it but my inpatient stay was $2000 a day, luckily insurance covered it but that was because I had already maxed out my out of pocket limit.

[HabitualQuitter]

Im waiting to hear from disability. That could change everything.

[Kristiemarie]

"I hate my life, I hate myself. I feel so alone. I needed to vent."

Oh HQ, i could have written this myself as I say it almost daily.

It sucks how badly the system works. And how people with our dx are treated. I hope that things start working out for you. It bums me out when I realize that things so called "normal" people can handle, sends me off the deep end and that the options for fixing that are expensive and time intensive.

I hope you're feeling better today, my friend.