[Joanne3]

So I was wondering if anyone could share their experiences with being Bi-polar and trying to get into a relationship? If you have positive and negative experiences could you share both.
I have pretty bad anxiety but I just think about trying to find a boyfriend with my crazy ups & downs and my OCD tendencies. It just seems like such a big thing to pile on someone (I know it's really hard for my family to deal with). And especially with my self harms scars (all down my right thigh and right arm). It just seems like too much and I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up alone haha.
So if anyone can let me know their experiences and what to say that would be amazing! Thanks!

Good morning. I'm no expert on relationships and am still trying to piece together the amount of "contribution" BP played in their demise (it takes two to tango). I was married for 11 yeas 3 kids and divorced in 09. Was not diagnosed until this Feb (BP2/ADHD). Clearly my BP bx existed throughout, my spouse dealt with, saw and felt ALL the ups and downs and moods and rages over those years, but handled them masterfully. It was a great marriage in every way. In the end we didnt work....because I pushed away and was bored and wasnt in love and clearly was unable to meet my partner needs...... thus we split.
Fast forward to my latest break up. 3 yrs together. Love of my life (or so I thought). Intense, deep and wonderful . Had I been diagnosed when we were dating not sure I what level of disclosure would've occurred and at what rate? ? Anyway given a multitude of life problems (kids, health issues, work, etc...) things started to deteriorate and my BP became full blown... unlike nothing I'd ever experienced before. It drove an immense wedge between us. Who the hell truly can handle full blown untreated BP??? So my partner encouraged me to get testing done and I agreed (I had already been in tx for 5 mo on my own.. for anger control and communication "help") Was, tested, diagnosed, put on meds, in tx and we are thinking positive and that we will work all this out and be together forever. NOT! Set back, med reaction, hospitalization, and "the end". I was released from the hospital, off meds and it was too much and we split. I packed up my kids and moved. My partner gave up on me. I had given up on myself. I know I was alot to handle. I know there was so much damage done to each other thru this all.... but blaming it all on BP is BS!! Sorry for the long drawn out version. My point is is that there ARE people out there that will love and support you over the long haul! Timing of disclosure during dating I have no clue about, guess it depends how serious it gets. Ive experienced compassion and understanding and unconditional love by a partner even tho I had all the horrible bx, anger, spending $$, etc..and I've also experienced the worst, the humiliation and blame for being BP and all the stuff that goes with it.
Im newly single and not even contemplating dating and disclosing. I do know I won't be alone forever....and neither will you be! There's someone out there that will be able to walk thru life with you, love and support you unconditionally despite the BP!! That's my opinion anway. Enjoy your weekend.

[Darth Bane]

i count myself lucky that i am single, i almost married girl when i was 23 , thank god that didn't happen or else i would be divorced now i didn't know i have bipolar then, and just few years ago i faced major depressive episode...

i think every bipolar might have some ocd tendencies (which go away when we come out of manic/depressive episode), and self harm, those scars they are kind of success stories if you think about it, everyday is struggle and everyday is victory for us...

i am currently not dating since i am trying to get myself back up, after depressive episode, but really just because i have bipolar it doesn't mean i don't deserve say Allison brie or Eva green

[Kristiemarie]

First off, knowing what going on with yourself is half the battle. Being accountable for your actions even during an episode is important. You cannot use the excuse that you are bipolar. It won't matter. When I hurt my husbands feelings, and I do way more often than I'd like to, I try to own up to the fact that I hurt his feelings. I did. Not my bipolar. Second, you need to find someone who accepts you and is willing to work WITH you to make a life together work. I wouldn't open the door with "hi, I'm bipolar!". Just do the dating thing and should you have an episode during the initial period, simply tell him that hey, there is something you need to discuss. If he runs, he wasn't for you anyway.

And before you start looking for a man, make sure you are 100% right with yourself. You can't love someone if you can't love yourself. *(don't confuse this with liking yourself...I dislike myself a lot....but I still accept me)

Good luck.

Trust me. There is someone out there who will love you for you. Warts and all.

[EternalWinter]

I just ended a 3 year relationship. I am relieved beyond belief, a relationship is just another stress. at least that one was

[ManicMe]

My husband is really supportive. He even talks to a therapist about how he can support me and meet my needs. He believes that God put us together for a reason and we are meant to go through this together. Even when I've tried to leave or push him away, he won't let me. He never brings up past episodes in anger either. Even though I've been dealt a ****** hand with BP dx, I'm so blessed God gave me my husband to travel the path with.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by ManicMe

My husband is really supportive. He even talks to a therapist about how he can support me and meet my needs. He believes that God put us together for a reason and we are meant to go through this together. Even when I've tried to leave or push him away, he won't let me. He never brings up past episodes in anger either. Even though I've been dealt a ****** hand with BP dx, I'm so blessed God gave me my husband to travel the path with.

I too have been blessed with a supportive husband for 33 years. Even with a divorce rate of 90% among marriages with one bipolar spouse, we've beaten the odds, so it CAN be done. We just have to work harder at our relationship than most couples because I am bipolar and difficult to handle when I'm in a mood episode. He never holds a grudge even when I say hurtful things; once I realize what a brass-plated biatch I've been, I always apologize and try to make it up to him. He knows I didn't choose to be this way, and loves me no matter how crazy I am.

[intergalactictraveler]

A few of you know my story, some don't. 63, married 18 years, been a couple 21 years. I have treatment resistant ultradian cycling/mixed state bipolar. My wife is alcoholic, from a family of alcoholics, also with mood disorders, suicides & suicide attempts. She doesn't think there's anything wrong with her, though when I've described her behavior to doctors, the opinion was Borderline Personality Disorder.

She knows I'm struggling but she goes on as if nothing is wrong. I'm sorry I ever met her. She hasn't been 'the one' many of us search for or hope to meet. I agree with Darth Bane and Eternalwinter; a relationship or marriage is stressful and if the person you're with also so has psych and/or addiction problems, it is pouring gasoline on a fire. Oh to live peacefully alone.

[Cocosurviving]

I was dating around the time I was dx'd. I would hang out out and talk on the phone w/ three guys. I told all three abt my dx, two stopped calling and didn't wanna hang out. The third guy started pulling away from me. His mom has BP and he was afraid I would be like her. I had to explain each of us are individual persons. He came around and has been a good friend. We still hang out but we're not in a relationship. I have decided not to get in a relationship b/c it's too much stress. It's also too much for the average person to deal with (IMO).

[intergalactictraveler]

Yeah, so am I Coco. Never thought I was when I was working and keeping on relatively even keel but over the past eight years, as my cycling worsened and I generally became more unstable, I tell my wife that if she thinks it's hard living with me, it's hard for me to live with me. We still haven't resolved whether we should separate, though she goes on as if all is fine. She lives her life in a constant state of denial.

[ManicMe]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I too have been blessed with a supportive husband for 33 years. Even with a divorce rate of 90% among marriages with one bipolar spouse, we've beaten the odds, so it CAN be done. We just have to work harder at our relationship than most couples because I am bipolar and difficult to handle when I'm in a mood episode. He never holds a grudge even when I say hurtful things; once I realize what a brass-plated biatch I've been, I always apologize and try to make it up to him. He knows I didn't choose to be this way, and loves me no matter how crazy I am.

I apologize a lot. Now, more than ever. I can see more easily now how hurtful I am and I apologize usually right away. He knows this isn't my choice and is very patient with me. We both know what our roles are in the house and I don't take it personally that I can't manage or help with the finances. If I want to buy something I just tell him and he usually gives me the money if we have it. I know that I need someone to do this or else our life would be in ruins. But, he knows that cooking and gardening are therapeutic for me so he lets me do whatever I want with that stuff(I made us vegetarians for 6 months and no one complained). He loves me, and I love him