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#1
May 19, 2013, 08:22 AM
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I am so tired of this!!! It would be so easy to just quit this entire fight!!!!! I went for my MRI Friday where they were supposed to put me to sleep to do it because of complete claustrophobia, but the idiots just drugged me up . With versed and fentanyl, so needless to say I was awake and freaked out and they could not do thewhole test, so now I have to go again!!!!
Besides the physical pain I am extremely tired of the mental pain.....no matter what I do I cannot get help!! I have recently had to quit counselling because of my dam insurance and after Over 2 weeks of fighting with the insurance company And billing . Office I have given up!!!!! I am searching c the internet interior try and find another shrink but have had no luck and I am just ready to say f it!!!! I am at my witts end and I am so tired of bugging people on here, in Chat and my friends from church but . I feel if I don't I will say f it and do myself in!!!!! |
 Darth Bane
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#2
May 19, 2013, 08:40 AM
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well don't give up. it's infuriating trying to deal with insurance companies! i agree with what christina said in another thread of yours - call the number on the back of your card and get someone to give you the name of doctors that they definitely cover. sometimes you can also find clinics in the area that will do sliding scale fees so even if you can't find covered doctors you can still get help. I go to a place that does that (in fact I go to two places that do that). So even if I didn't have insurance I would still be able to afford it a little bit.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#3
May 19, 2013, 09:32 AM
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Invictus
Invictus By William Ernest Henley 1849–1903 William Ernest Henley Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. |
 middlepath
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#4
May 19, 2013, 02:19 PM
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no matter what I do I cannot snap out of this deep down black hole of depression, despair, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts
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#5
May 19, 2013, 02:39 PM
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I hate that ur feeling this way. I just came out of a depression episode that lasted 7 months. I felt like I was serving time in hell. I suggest you follow Christina's advise. You need a pdoc and therapist ASAP. I had to have a med adjustment. I also participate in a IRL support group. Open the curtains, let the sunshine in. Listen to some soft music.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#6
May 19, 2013, 04:28 PM
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Coco said it so well about depression being like "serving time in hell". I just finished the worst depression of my life and want to remind you that this cycle will pass. You will feel good again. For now you just need to bide your time. Talk with someone as soon as possible. Remember that you are surrounded by love from PC!
__________________
"My favorite pastime edge stretching" Alanis Morissette 
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#7
May 19, 2013, 04:45 PM
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Well I'm a little late on this but what helps me is remembering it will pass. I hate depressions they are the worst. But it will pass. U do need to find a pdoc and therapist. I hope u feel better soon.
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#8
May 19, 2013, 05:41 PM
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Thankyou for everyones response and yes I know I need a shrink but how are hey am I supposed to find one when either they do not accept my insurance or they are 45 minutes away and I do not have the gas or good enough vehicle to get me there???? I am extremely frustrated and honestly if I did not have my son that I am solely responsible for I would not have to worry about any of this because I would be dead!!!! sorry but I am just tired of trying to find help and hitting brick walls!!!!
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#9
May 19, 2013, 06:01 PM
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Call ur insurance comp for provider numbers AND ask them to find providers within "ABC" miles from ur address.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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