not that well today

I feel really sick after my episode yesterday. Much more than normal.

I'm still very feeling paranoid. Lots of paranoid thoughts and very high anxiety.

I just want to say I might be quiet for a while. I'm really struggling to reading. I don't want to have anyone thinking I am ignoring or anything. I just have no energy really, except for more simpler posts.

I feel really lightheaded and shaken up which is pretty normal after an episode. Like physically. It's bad today. I feel like my brain is spinning in my head.

So... just wanted to check in.

Thanks to everyone who saw the episode yesterday but please don't comment on it. I'm very paranoid about it right now. Thank you.

Just gonna send you gentle hugs.

I don't know what's going on but whatever it is, I wish you nothing but piece of mind.

Paranoia can get the best of me too, so just keep your mind calm and just take it easy as best you can.

I always enjoy reading your posts, you are very helpful and insightful, and I'm sure everyone that knows you wouldn't mind if you just kept it simple for a few days.

Good luck and feel better soon!

send you energy for a calm brain, a relaxed body, and no paranoia. (((HUGS)))

Take care of you Sis

I'm sry, hope u feel better soon!

My rage level is pretty high... I'm trying to calm it down...

I am super stressed out. My mind is clearin a bit from earlier. I don't feel like as sick as before. The paranoia is less than it was but still there.

Thanks for all the support everyone.

Hugs to you.

I hope you feel better soon.

Invictus

Invictus


By William Ernest Henley 1849–1903 William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

Sending you blessings and the best of wishes to you.

Thinking of you.

Just want to say that I'm feeling a lot better today.

I don't know what triggered me last week, but I hope it's gone now.

I got info about the assistance program at work, which I found out I can use even though I dont' carry the ridiculously expensive insurance... So, I'm going to find a new therapist that way, since my old one won't see me without insurance. I feel it's for the best.

How's today going? Thinking of you.

I'm okay but stressed. A lot of new regulations at work have me on high alert mode.... I'm sure all is well but I'm trying not to panic.

Otherwise, things are fairly good since my melt-down the other day.... some things have shifted a bit and unexpectedly. The changes pull at my paranoia a bit but they are good changes so I'm riding it out.

Looking for a new therapist and being slow about it. I think in life this is one place where someone holding my hand and guiding me would help, but I know that won't happen so I have to not give up before I start for once.

For sure, at least give therapy a try. It can do wonders, especially finding one along the same lines of spiritual beliefs IMHO. When I was interviewing therapists a few years ago, I asked first one if she could share her spiritual beliefs with me, she said no... And wanted to analyze why I'd asked. So I said Later here's your money, no we won't be rescheduling. Found a few awesome ones after that. You'll find a good one.