[Margolomania]

So, right meow I feel OK. No real ups like I'm high and I feel like I can go, go, go! And no real depressing lows. I'm getting some anxious and obsessive thoughts still, but I find that I'm not getting depressed by them. I'm getting tingles though... my arms and legs and face. I wonder what that's about.

Well, I guess this is what "baseline" feels like? I never observed my moods as extensively before, so it's all new and familiar at the same time.

Hugs for everyone, hope y'all have a great day

[wildflowerchild25]

feeling agitated and irritable but hoping to reign it in with mindfulness skills.

Yall I just feel darn near crazy right now.
Had a horrible stress dream...down so low I am almost flat...coffee is propping me up but that will wear off soon enough.
Gotta get into character....gotta put on the responsible, hard working guy mask once again and keep the world at bay.
I am cycling between down and downer...hoping some hypo will kick in soon so I can forget how horribly depressed I really am.

[wildflowerchild25]

I am still manic and I don't know how to bring myself down. Meds aren't working except to get the psychotic thoughts out of my head at least. I know just give them a few more days except I only have a week until school starts and I don't know what I'll do if I'm still like this except probably get fired for punching the biotch teachers in their pinchy faces! Ugh!

I had a horrible night of sleep last night, especially thanks to a neighbor whose parents are out of town (loud music outside).

I NEED to get a good night's sleep. It's been 3 or 4 nights that it's been f'd up now. I feel like a slug right now but will do my best to make it through the day.

Thank God pdoc told me to call him tomorrow if sleep didn't improve after taking an additional klonopin after waking up at midnight every night. Maybe I need more antipsychotic to keep my asleep? Right now I'm only on one 5 mg saphris at bedtime.

[A Red Panda]

I am hungover and tired.

I drank way too much last night - I had ten bottles of beer that are 5.3%! I seemed to have danced it all off (I did start early and it was spread out), and I can at least say that I did NOT drink at the bar (aside from a shot that one of my friends bought me). It was my birthday yesterday, and we went to a drum n bass club. It was much fun and I literally danced the night away - we didn't get home until 5am!

Cried most of the drive home. Was thinking about an old friend. And I think I just didn't know how to handle having a birthday that was actually good. As silly as that sounds. But hey, I was drunk and tired and up waaaayyy past my bedtime, so I'm not really frettintg too much about the fact that Iwas crying.

[Margolomania]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

feeling agitated and irritable but hoping to reign it in with mindfulness skills.

I feel you here. I was feeling so nice yesterday! I think it's the lack of sleep that's gotten me quite agitated and irritable today.

Trying out those thought reframing skills to keep myself from spiraling down into sadness like I did last week.

Hoping for the best for myself and everyone today!

[comicgeek007]

My RPG went really well last night. The party fought a team they weren't intended to, but it ended up better for them in the end I had a really good time. Still feeling great and no meds. Stayed up till 5am to write the outline for the next gaming session. Even then I had to force myself to sleep. Classes start tomorrow. Woo hoo! Debating taking my meds. I actually have them now since my dad fixed the mix up at the pharmacy, but as bad as it sounds I like the way I feel now and I'm afraid the meds might take that away.

[Margolomania]

Feeling much more irritable today, but still in a more "stable" mood, I suppose.

Woke up to deep depression....tears in the eyes but the crying would not come.
Very upset about the depression comig back around so strong.
I did get a bit up later. I had a dinner tonight that upset my stomach so sleeping was crap.
It's 3 am...do you know where your brain is?
Sorry just being me

Although my sleep was better last night, I woke up feeling worse depression today. I think it may be one of those days where I have to talk myself into doing even simple things, to force myself.

First off was taking the dogs for a walk, even though I didn't want to. It has lifted my spirits some and made me feel like I have a purpose.

This depression sucks, but I'm determined to fight it today.

different kind of thinking lately. I like it.

[Margolomania]

Originally Posted by newgal2

Although my sleep was better last night, I woke up feeling worse depression today. I think it may be one of those days where I have to talk myself into doing even simple things, to force myself.

First off was taking the dogs for a walk, even though I didn't want to. It has lifted my spirits some and made me feel like I have a purpose.

This depression sucks, but I'm determined to fight it today.

It's definitely a tough thing to do, so we'll be cheering you on from behind our silver screens!

I feel better from actually having some good sleep today. Yesterday I was just so irritable and was ready to hand out free punches, and I think it has a lot to do with my interrupted sleep schedules. The next few days will be busy! I am in the middle of a move, I'm working on getting a psychiatrist, and will be preparing for a trip to Seattle! Yay productivity!

I hope everyone feels ok/good today. I'm rooting for you all

[deelooted]

Feeling a little bit better...feel like I am taking too many meds, but they do make me feel better than if I don't Oh well, just gotta ride out the wait for the ADs to really do their thing.

The good news, my mood is stabilized.... stable depression!!!

how do I say this without it becoming one of my usual threads?????

I just feel that I don't belong anywhere.

worried that I have been misdiagnosed. what happens if I pursue this and I am really bpd? I would feel like such an *** for my time on here, thinking I was bp.

that's all I will say.

I don't cry. I pride myself on that. today I am not so proud.

don't know what to do with everything that I feel.

overreacting. I know I am.

but I can't calm down.

wtf?????

((((landscaperdan))))
As my cousin Michelle always tells me....be gentle with yourself. I worry(?) and wonder about being misdiagnosed too but at least we are moving in the right direction...away from no diagnosis. Hang in there, you can do it!

With some financial pressure off of me for a moment, I can think a little more clearly.
I was falling asleep and waking with racing thoughts of what was I gonna do...I could sell this or that...I could move here or there....maybe just be homeless for a while...always thinking, always looking for a solution...it was absolutely mentally exhausting!
So now I will go thru next 2 days with T appointment, Doc appointment...might even try to sneak in an eye doctor appointment too.

So BPDll is not so bad today...today. Live each day for today...yesterday is gone and tomorrow can worry its own self to death about it. I am living for today.

[comicgeek007]

So I took my meds after not taking them for over a week. And now I'm so.nauseous I don't want to eat.

[Moreta]

I feel so agitated today. Like I could rip someone's head off. ugh.

Originally Posted by Moreta

I feel so agitated today. Like I could rip someone's head off. ugh.

with your bare hands. I understand that.

it's off to work

now I have to suck it up for another day!

that's what I hate about leaving the house. I dont' get to be me

Pdoc wanted me to start 50 mg XR seroquel for insomnia last night, so I did. It may have helped a little bit, but I woke up this morning and felt extremely depressed.

Just left him a message that I do not want to take the seroquel - - would rather struggle with sleep a little than have my depression worsen.

That's about it for now. I continue to fight this depression. I will not give up. Things WILL get better. Just started therapeutic dose of viibryd this morning. Will start therapeutic dose of lamictal tomorrow night.

[Mollywisk]

Couldn't fall asleep until 4 this morning and don't know why. I've been doing a nightly ritual and followed it, took meds, all is well. Can't figure it out.

Everyone else has not been so sure...my new T said right off that I am def bpd ll

She is already my fave!

[comicgeek007]

And then the crash...

I was hypo/normal for nearly a month, got about a day's warning, then BAM depression. The lack of motivation thing sucks for college... Been hanging out with friends so I stay safe.